It’s impossible to choose just one!
-The Once-Dashing Smuggler. I still stare out at the sea, wondering why you never call. I don’t care if you’re married, GET A FREAKING DIVORCE!
-Smirking Mooching Artist Pest. As his only fan, it would be nice to just drop the pretense and let him mooch off me directly instead of having to deal with him knocking on my door every five minutes.
-The Affectionate Devil. Or at least give him to me as a Feast companion. We get the Quiet Deviless and some random Devil I’ve never heard of before, but where is the guy who charmed the pants off me, soul-raped me and now works for my newspaper? I don’t know how to quit him!
-The Prim Baronet. He’s so freaking adorable I can’t even stand it. Plus, once we are wed, perhaps he’ll tell me where he hides his pupils.
-The Revolutionary Firebrand. I went through so much grinding and paid so much money to get you your dream…PUT OUT ALREADY!
-The Cheery Man. My friend really wants to hook up with him…I’m lukewarm about him myself, since he REALLY hurt Flesh-Stick’s feelings :P But the option would be nice.
-The Wry Functionary. His backstory is SO tragically adorable. Let me show him it’s possible to love again.
-Clarence. Don’t roll your eyes at me! Clarence is perfect :P
-The Sardonic Music Hall Singer. Poor Flesh-Stick and his poor pathetic crush on her…since his every attempt gets him nowhere, she’d probably turn him down, but others may have better luck :P
-The Scarred Naturalist because [spoiler] Flesh-Stick: I DON’T CARE IF HE’S DEAD AND THAT SNUFFERS DON’T COME BACK YOU GIVE ME MY SNUFFER BACK RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR ELSE I’LL BRING HIM BACK MYSELF WITH MY MAD SCIENCE CHEMISTRY SET I STOLE FROM THAT OLD LADY WHO LOOKS LIKE MY AUNTIE. I DON’T WANT ANY OTHER SNUFFERS I WANT MINE WHO GETS KIDNAPPED BY SPIDERS AND HAS BAD FASHION SENSE AND MAKES TERRIBLE COFFEE! BAWWWWWW!!!
ALSO, HAS THE BLITHE GRADUATE GOTTEN OVER HIS IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND YET? I WOULDN’T MIND HOOKING UP WITH HIM EITHER. OKAY, BACK TO BAWWWING. AHEM…BAWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Edit: Going to have to add the Placid Patriarch from the Seven Day Reign here too. An unrepentantly horrible rich evil douchebag with beautiful artwork was too much for me and my evil villain fetish to resist :P I think a lot of my displeasure with the end of the otherwise wonderful Seven Day Reign was due to his deserved but still horrific death being sprung on me when I so dearly wanted to keep him alive. I’d replay that story and give him my sh*thead fake daughter to chomp on in a heartbeat if I could :P
Edit: Going to have to add a couple more here now that I’ve played their exceptional stories:
-The Emaciated Survivor from Where You and I Must Go. Just because, as I’ve said, he’s such a woobie and I want to keep him and love him and dote on him forever :P
-The Sear-Eyed Visionary from our Lady of Pyres. He’s so precious and has the coolest artwork in the game. My character is a huge Dawn Machine hater and was also all set to side with the Iconoclast out of duty to the guy who sent him on the mission and then…he laid eyes on this guy. I don’t know if Dawn Machine nutcases are allowed to marry, but perhaps I could be a sinful fling on the side :P
Of course, if they are all made available to me, the next step will be to make sure none of them ever finds out about all the others :P
edited by Kukapetal on 1/31/2016
edited by Kukapetal on 12/7/2016