I was sent a confession request and three+ days later they had menaces enough for me to send one in return, so I accepted the one they sent… Only to find they decided to decline my own, and I don’t know that it’s worth me using more action points to find out what happened or try again. (Throwing good money after bad, and all that.)
They probably didn’t mean anything by it(?), but suffice it to say it was a… disheartening turn of events.
How do most players do the whole Hallowmas confessions thing? Should I be anticipating this kind of thing, or was I just unfortunate in this instance / unwise to assume that mutual confessions is the norm?
(This wasn’t the first confession request I’ve had rejected this year by someone who’s sent me one, is all.)
. edited by Kittenpox on 10/30/2015
I know I’ve been only accepting confessions when I see someone has sent me more than one confession. This is to save them from sending more. One person sent me as many as seven, and I accepted one to stop the sending and save them some actions (although in retrospect maybe they sent 7 for asthetic reasons). I’ve also sent out duplicate confessions and it takes a few days to notice sometimes, but I always leave one active.
I’d say, it’s to be expected a certain percentage of confessions will be rejected. Some people bite off more than they can chew and just can’t accept all the ones they’ve got. Or they signed up for all menaces, but discovered they want to only do one type after all.
Not me though, I plan to accept every unique confession sent to me, no matter what (repeats have to be rejected though).
How much rejection is to be expected from others though? It’s hard to tell. This is the first year we’ve ever been this organized. This year will be the benchmark we use to judge all subsequent ones. I think, largely though, most people will accept the requests they’ve received or make a good faith effort to accept as many as possible. edited by NiteBrite on 10/30/2015
I don’t usually go out of my way to arrange mutual confessions unless they’re going to be betrayals. I just send at random and will accept all the requests sent to me.
Rejections during this phase i take horrible offense at, unless i sent a duplicate. My retaliation is, since i wait to accept, to reject them in turn. it’s not an optimal outcome, but i won’t reward them their bad behavior. I will put it off as late as possible, though, just in case it was an accident and they appologise, or it was because of duplication and they accept. edited by Grenem on 10/30/2015
I intend to accept all requests sent my way (currently sitting at around 144).
There are a few duplicates there, so I’ll have to reject those. I intend to send a note to those I have to reject so that they know it’s because of duplication (assuming they haven’t noticed the duplication themselves).
You could always message them with an alt and ask "What’s up with that?" It was probably just a misunderstanding.
But there is always the possibility, especially if they sent you a Confessions and then refused to allow you to reciprocate that fonession for 3 days, that they never intended to accept yours in the first place.
I tend to think this unlikely. I don’t think there are that many people who play Fallen London who would be that callous, though.
I will also be accepting all Confessions sent my way, provided the sender will also receive confessions. I’ve got about 30 people who’ve sent me invites that have never shown up on the drop down. Actions being at a premium, I may have to decline those, but only if it comes down to the wire.
When I’ve been rejecting confessions (because they’re duplicates) I’ve taken the relevant player out for coffee and explained what I’m going to do and why. I’ve also queried once or twice why others cancelled confessions and they explained that it was, again, due to duplicates.
I will also be accepting all Confessions sent my way, provided the sender will also receive confessions. I’ve got about 30 people who’ve sent me invites that have never shown up on the drop down. Actions being at a premium, I may have to decline those, but only if it comes down to the wire.[/quote]
That’s what I’m doing - I will do my best to accept all Confessions if I can, but I’ll be accepting the ones who I have been able to send requests to first. (Although… at least one person couldn’t find Eris in the dropdown when they should have been able to, which was a glitch. If I’ve sent you a confession and you can’t find me, drop me a PM here (to save you an action) and I’ll see what I can do - or send the request to my alt instead, if you like. William’s a most obliging chap who has a great story involving the Bishop of Southwark, a weasel and rather a lot of wine…)
I have got to the point (as I have accepted around 50 and have another 20 or so in my inbox) where I am trying to only send out invitations to people who have sent me one. Of course some of those were from non-POSIs so they are not available this year. As I have done this in previous years as well I am cross referencing with my trust list to try and get the people I missed getting confession from previously. Once I have done that I will raise my menaces again and hope to get invitations that I can reciprocate. But as I plan to be around for next year I won’t worry too much if I can’t.
As for rejecting an invitation only if it is a duplicate. Cancelling - once again if it is a duplicate; though I did have an alt who accidentally sent out more single menace requests than they needed as they hadn’t got to Confessions 6 to lock those options so they cancelled those.
I don’t intend to name+shame, especially as I don’t know their motives, and I’d hate to find I’d slandered someone over what might turn out to have been an accident. But no it was not you Kylestien. :-)
I am finding these replies helpful though - just having an idea of what’s being considered ‘normal’ has helped a ton. :-)
Apologies if I have screwed up the etiquette myself. I did not realize I would have so much work-related stuff to handle and I have lost track of what I put on the Confession sheets. However, I am now prepared to keep my Wounds and Nightmares high enough to allow pride confessions, and if I can’t accept them right away I will accept them after the deadline. Thanks.
I too have over 50 invitations sitting in my inbox, and my apologies if I have not yet accepted your requests. I’m trying to work my way through them as menaces permit. Once we can no longer send requests for confessions, I will make a concerted effort to accept every request sent to me. I assume many others are doing the same, as I have many outstanding requests that I have sent that have neither been accepted nor declined.
@Riftare: There is no need to apologize! To put off accepting requests until next week is the most effective way of playing and therefore the usual tactic among those aiming for 500 Spirit of Hallowmas (or even more).
I only return Whimsy confessions if they specifically say so in their invite to me. Otherwise I just accept since me being proactively wearing the clay mask produced a lot of unreturned invites.
I’ve read this is a thing (though I’m uncertain on the details), so I assume that’s what some others have been doing. :-)
I’ve just been finding it irritating when it’s not even possible to send one to them in return, and since it requires me to spend at least twice as many actions to accept than it does for them to send the thing but they get the benefit (and a chance to betray me too), it’s like why should I bother with their request if they won’t have the courtesy to do the same?
I messaged a few of the people and while I did manage to fix up some confusion I had with one or two of them, it also resulted in more of those deciding to send me another invitation to confess (rather than bumping up their menaces so they were available for me to send the action on my end) so I don’t know that I worded it very well. :-s
[quote=Nigel Overstreet]But there is always the possibility, especially if they sent you a Confessions and then refused to allow you to reciprocate that conession for 3 days, that they never intended to accept yours in the first place.
I tend to think this unlikely. I don’t think there are that many people who play Fallen London who would be that callous, though.[/quote]
We’ll see how it goes. :-s At the moment I have 87 Spirit of Hallowmas and 32 Confessions, though I don’t know exactly what I need to do to reach 500 (or even 250) spirit.
I’ve read this is a thing (though I’m uncertain on the details), so I assume that’s what some others have been doing. :-)
I’ve just been finding it irritating when it’s not even possible to send one to them in return, and since it requires me to spend at least twice as many actions to accept than it does for them to send the thing but they get the benefit (and a chance to betray me too), it’s like why should I bother with their request if they won’t have the courtesy to do the same?
I messaged a few of the people and while I did manage to fix up some confusion I had with one or two of them, it also resulted in more of those deciding to send me another invitation to confess (rather than bumping up their menaces so they were available for me to send the action on my end) so I don’t know that I worded it very well. :-s
[quote=Nigel Overstreet]But there is always the possibility, especially if they sent you a Confessions and then refused to allow you to reciprocate that conession for 3 days, that they never intended to accept yours in the first place.
I tend to think this unlikely. I don’t think there are that many people who play Fallen London who would be that callous, though.[/quote]
We’ll see how it goes. :-s At the moment I have 87 Spirit of Hallowmas and 32 Confessions, though I don’t know exactly what I need to do to reach 500 (or even 250) spirit.[/quote]
EDIT: NVM, found yours and accepted. (choosing optimal options, you’ll get 215 spirit using those resources, though i expect you’ll have more comming in.) edited by Grenem on 10/31/2015 edited by Grenem on 10/31/2015