Anyone who is available send me an offer. I’ll take as many trades as I can at this point.
Yes, and many apologies to Sir Number-in-his-Username-at-the-Top-of-My-List. It would be great if, when adding someone, hitting enter meant "add" and not "send." :)
So I have several people who sent me requests but have not been available for return requests ever. I’ve checked many many times. I am not going to be spiteful and will certainly accept their requests (provided I have actions; I’d have to prioritise them down) but I was wondering whether it’s worthwhile having a thread for names that people are waiting for.
The problem is it could come across as a bit of a name-and-shame (although that’s not at all the intention), which I think is a major obstacle. Also, timing I guess. It’s only a few hours till the lockdown so the efficacy of any such thread is probably questionable…
[quote=genesis]So I have several people who sent me requests but have not been available for return requests ever. I’ve checked many many times. I am not going to be spiteful and will certainly accept their requests (provided I have actions; I’d have to prioritise them down) but I was wondering whether it’s worthwhile having a thread for names that people are waiting for.
The problem is it could come across as a bit of a name-and-shame (although that’s not at all the intention), which I think is a major obstacle. Also, timing I guess. It’s only a few hours till the lockdown so the efficacy of any such thread is probably questionable…[/quote]
It would be nice to have an official appology thread and declined on sight thread. the former would be for those who accidentally declined, and would include vauge ones like "i don’t know who i declined, but i declined someone accidentally. if you’re that someone- sorry.". the latter would be for anyone who declined the invites shortly after they recieved them, without context, would have both the confesee and confessor named, and would generally be a way to minimize the number of people who wind up throwing actions into the void because some jerk declined them on sight.
It is a little bit annoying to have your invites declined (if you don’t want to play, you could just keep your menaces down for the duration…), but I think any kind of list will just invite ill feeling. Best just to enjoy the festival with like-minded folk, I think!
This is my first Hallowmas, so I understand the confusion at seeing a withdrawn request, not realising that it was the second one sent by the same person. I’ve had only a single request rejected so far—at the very beginning, actually, by a confused player who didn’t have the necessary qualities to accept it at the time. I sent a letter in-game to find out why, thinking that it wouldn’t cost me any actions. I was rather disappointed to find out that the Penny Post does in fact cost an action.
When I find duplicates, I try to save myself the trouble of extra messages and actions by rejecting the first request and accepting the second in quick succession. I like to think that the resulting messages, one above the other in the requester’s inbox, speak for themselves.
I know people look up names and preferences in the Google document, but how many look up preferences when reciprocating requests? I tried not to use the document too much (slows my laptop down), so I usually sent the same type of confession as that I received, unless that was impossible, in which case I checked whether that person was available for the other type.
[quote=genesis]So I have several people who sent me requests but have not been available for return requests ever. I’ve checked many many times. I am not going to be spiteful and will certainly accept their requests (provided I have actions; I’d have to prioritise them down) but I was wondering whether it’s worthwhile having a thread for names that people are waiting for.
The problem is it could come across as a bit of a name-and-shame (although that’s not at all the intention), which I think is a major obstacle. Also, timing I guess. It’s only a few hours till the lockdown so the efficacy of any such thread is probably questionable…[/quote]
I am, honestly, a bit surprised that so many people seem to think mutual confessions are that important. I will accept confession requests from everyone, but I do not keep a list to make sure I send a request in turn each and every time. That does seem a bit bureaucratic, especially as there are gazillions of players out there just waiting for more requests.
I do keep a list of my sent requests to avoid sending duplicates. That’s enough of a fuss already but totally worth it. I had quite a few people send me two (or even more) requests. Such a sad waste of actions!
Exactly.
edited by Rupho Schartenhauer on 11/1/2015
[quote=Rupho Schartenhauer][quote=genesis]So I have several people who sent me requests but have not been available for return requests ever. I’ve checked many many times. I am not going to be spiteful and will certainly accept their requests (provided I have actions; I’d have to prioritise them down) but I was wondering whether it’s worthwhile having a thread for names that people are waiting for.
The problem is it could come across as a bit of a name-and-shame (although that’s not at all the intention), which I think is a major obstacle. Also, timing I guess. It’s only a few hours till the lockdown so the efficacy of any such thread is probably questionable…[/quote]
I am, honestly, a bit surprised that so many people seem to think mutual confessions are that important. I will accept confession requests from everyone, but I do not keep a list to make sure I send a request in turn each and every time. That does seem a bit bureaucratic, especially as there are gazillions of players out there just waiting for more requests.
I do keep a list of my sent requests to avoid sending duplicates. That’s enough of a fuss already but totally worth it. I had quite a few people send me two (or even more) requests. Such a sad waste of actions!
Exactly.
edited by Rupho Schartenhauer on 11/1/2015[/quote]
I fit in actions during a day when I can, and I often quickly lose track of who sent what when. I’m willing to go for mutuality if asked, but I rarely remember to offer it as an option.
Perhaps, but when they can spend 4 actions (three to gain my confession, plus one to conceal it) to get 4 Spirit of Hallowmas (and +6 next year) it seems terribly unfair when I’m currently spending at least 6-7 actions to get 1 Spirit of Hallowmas from accepting someone else’s confession request and rebuilding menaces for the next.
My thoughts on this are that we can both benefit from this… so like please don’t exploit me, y’know?
It wouldn’t be such an issue if I hadn’t cared about it at all (of course), and I’m pretty certain now that I’ve breached the 250 threshold and have a decent shot at 500 if the ones I’ve sent do accept in return. I sent a few extras during the night, just in case.
But I’ve just been really rather keen to get the top-level rewards for this and so have been rather focused on reaching 500 Spirit of Hallowmas, to the exclusion of everything else. :-)
.
edited by Kittenpox on 11/1/2015
[quote=The Duke of Waltham]
I know people look up names and preferences in the Google document, but how many look up preferences when reciprocating requests? I tried not to use the document too much (slows my laptop down), so I usually sent the same type of confession as that I received, unless that was impossible, in which case I checked whether that person was available for the other type.[/quote]
That’s also a good strategy.
As for me, I just added to my post at the Hallowmas List that if the person behind the Clay mask wishes for me to visit them in return then they should say so in their invite. It worked quite well. People who don’t want a visit simply sent me a default invite while those who want a visit gave me details on which one they liked.
I agree that the best course of action would be to declare one’s wish for requests (and the nature thereof) in the invitations themselves; relatively few people have done it that I’ve seen, but now that I know how the Festival of Masks works, I intend to do the same next year (provided I’m still here, of course).
Yes, and many apologies to Sir Number-in-his-Username-at-the-Top-of-My-List. It would be great if, when adding someone, hitting enter meant "add" and not "send." :)[/quote]
Ah, don’t fret about it. Oh, and future refence, I use gender pronouns please!
EDIT: Gender NEUTRAL pronouns. Whoops…
edited by Cecil on 11/8/2015
Was the word neutral accidentally omitted?
Uh. Yes. Yes it was. Hahaha, "gender pronouns", well anyways, I’ll update that post. Thanks for that catch! hehe, okay, I’m going to laugh about that for a while.
Uh. Yes. Yes it was. Hahaha, "gender pronouns", well anyways, I’ll update that post. Thanks for that catch! hehe, okay, I’m going to laugh about that for a while.[/quote]
Which gender neutral pronouns do you use? it and you seem rude, alternating he and she is just awkward, xe and xim look slightly ridiculous, and sir-or-madam is… fine, actually, though it still assumes you do, in fact, have a gender.
They/them can also be gender neutral pronouns. Those two are my default pronouns to use when dealing with people on the internet, at least until I know their preferred one.
edited by Sara Hysaro on 11/8/2015
Chiming in - I too really like “they” and “them” for my gender-neutral pronouns, I don’t find them to be objectifying.
People tend to assume my character is male as well, but I consider them (and myself) to be genderfluid.
I wonder how often we (me included) tend to think to check what pronouns are preferred before checking - I bet even with the option for agender and genderfluid etc characters that many of us end up getting addressed by male or female as default - I can think of a few people on here who are constantly being sir’d or ma’am’d… I myself am cis-female, but my own character is never misgendered in that direction. The cameos tend to help, I think.
“They/them” has always been the safest option when referring to someone, I find. Even with the cameos, it’s probably better to wait until they’ve confirmed it. For example, on one of my alts, I had a female cameo and the player who messaged me still referred to them as “sir”. It’s not a major point, but it was still a little jarring.
Speaking of Hallowmas etiquette - as this was my first Hallowmas, I went in not having read up properly on how it worked and as a result spent my first few days of the event extremely confused and bewildered. Next year, now that I know the intricacies, I’ll reciprocate requests and keep my stats up accordingly.
I use they/them or ze/zir in Real Life, and I certainly picked a Mysterious And Indistinct Gender main character intentionally for this reason.
They/them is also used in Fallen London for the Cat’s Chiefest Claw.
Re: Hallowmas etiquette… I admit, I am curious as to how things will change next year, given how different this year was from the last!