In polite society, it is not permitted to bring up subjects that might excite people to discussion. At the inflammatory salon, the opposite is true. There is no host or hostess, and there are no servants. Anyone can come and go as they please, help themselves to whatever they find lying about on tables and trays, and anyone can introduce a topic of controversy for the pleasure of the contrary and contentious. In fact, it’s not unheard of for several, mutually exclusive arguments to rage on simultaneously in the same room. Pull up an armchair, warm up your vocal chords, and try not to break the China.
(A note: This is supposed to be entirely in-character. I would like to request that people write their objections to an argument in-character, rather than resorting to the thumbs down button. Thank you!)
edited by Lamia Lawless on 10/6/2016
I think we should bomb the Uttershroom with 600 tons of gunpowder and be done with it.
Flesh-Stick: WOW BERT I’M REALLY SURPRISED AT SUCH A BOLD AND HASTY SUGGESTION! WE’VE KNOWN EACHOTHER FOR MONTHS AND SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE I DON’T KNOW YOU AT ALL.
REALLY SURPRISED AT YOU BERT. REALLY REALLY SURPRISED AND DISMAYED.
EVERYONE KNOWS YOU NEED TO USE AT LEAST 1000 TONS OF GUNPOWDER ON THE UTTERSHROOM.
I’M NOT SITTING NEXT TO YOU AT CHURCH THIS SUNDAY.
You would also need to set it on fire first, I reckon. Burn those nasty little spores so the blast does not scatter them.
“What is an uttershroom? I don’t think I’ve met one on my travels yet.”
It is a power of the Zee, like unto the Fathomking or Visage.
Or
It is a giant mushroom hundreds of feet tall rising from the ocean.
Or
It is an alien intelligence bent on dominating the Unterzee.
Or
. … . or maybe I meant "AND" instead of "OR"…
edited by absimiliard on 3/31/2016
Well, great amount of explosives seems like it would useful in determining whether it’s the power of the zee and just a giant mushroom. The power of the zee would take more the explosives.
And if it is an alien intelligence trying to dominate the Unterzee, then I’m all for a first strike.
"A vile overgrown fungi. Size of a island! The Uttershroom is one gigantic individual mushroom, rising out of the zee southeast of London. And the worst part is its offspring. Ambulatory fungi called blemmigans. Nasty purple creatures, fangs, and no eyes. Vicious! No eyes! They should be destroyed for that alone! And these creatures are horribly prolific, trying to spread through to proper Animalia dominated areas. The vile creatures are somewhat sapient and like to compose soppy bohemian poetry! It enrages me as a zoologist! Our taxonomic kingdom should band together against these nasty mobile sporing infestations. "
“Are there any manner of flora or fauna you would like to see hunted down?”
“Wait, their the poetry fungus. Well, I happen to like the poetry fungus. I keep one as a hat.
I also have nothing against things that don’t have eyes. My eyes occasionally pop out and none the worse for it.”
[quote=absimiliard]It is a power of the Zee, like unto the Fathomking or Visage.
Or
It is a giant mushroom hundreds of feet tall rising from the ocean.
Or
It is an alien intelligence bent on dominating the Unterzee.
Or
. … .[/quote]
Urchins discussing the Correspondence know more on the topic than you seem to! A distressing waste of my time!
Am I the only one who finds the nations of the Presbyterate rather presumptious and condescending in foreign affairs?
Those louts from the Elder Continent believe just because they live forever they can treat us like fools.
What claim do they have to greater knowledge? They don’t even know what the Surface is!
I tell you, friends, if London had a navy worth its zee-salt those pompous Southerners wouldn’t be the ones gloating.
They could roll their eyes less during diplomatic meetings.
What are the Elder Continent’s ships like?
Some of them are alive.
So is my zubmarine from that academic jaunt.
Are the Elder ships like the ships that visit Bullbone island too long or more like the creatures of the neath?
I saw one before when I was between ports, out near the Seas of Appetite. Horrible, ghastly image that still crawls around my skull to this day.
Even so, we’d be more likely to destroy a fleet of those than we are to destroy the Uttershroom. The thought.
Ah, but trying still would leave a great drinking story. And perhaps knowledge.
It’s not like I have plans this evening anyway.
Surely it would be more efficent to use some sort of fungicidal agent rather than using explosives? What happens if there is a fire? It could carry spores into the air for hundreds of miles in any direction.
[quote=Bertrand Leonidas Poole]"A vile overgrown fungi. Size of a island! The Uttershroom is one gigantic individual mushroom, rising out of the zee southeast of London. And the worst part is its offspring. Ambulatory fungi called blemmigans. Nasty purple creatures, fangs, and no eyes. Vicious! No eyes! They should be destroyed for that alone! And these creatures are horribly prolific, trying to spread through to proper Animalia dominated areas. The vile creatures are somewhat sapient and like to compose soppy bohemian poetry! It enrages me as a zoologist! Our taxonomic kingdom should band together against these nasty mobile sporing infestations. "
"Are there any manner of flora or fauna you would like to see hunted down?"[/quote]
"Some of their poetry is rather inspired, I think. Before you start a campaign for Neath-wide fungicide, I think we should study the blemmigans. They are living proof that poetry is not the sole province of the human soul."