Good point! Fungicide, I must develop an effective fungicide. We should also slaughter all the horrid individuals willingly infested with the vile spores of that place. Especially the ones who intentionally infected themselves. It’s just not right.
"If blemmigans can write poetry and have feelings and desires who knows what else they’re capable of. Will we one day give blemmigans the vote? Will we have blemmigan lord mayors and blemmigan parliamentarians? Perhaps they already do vote in their own way. Who’s to say the Uttershroom is not some bizarre ruler as well as an island and thus our destruction of it would not only be pest control but also a high-profile assassination.
Also, as an aside, has anyone thought of just dropping a few thousand cats on the Uttershroom . Those creatures will eat just about anything (I saw them eat a Master once!) and they’re more thorough than fire if they set their minds to it."
"
Hmm. Well, to restate my earlier inquiry, are there any manner of flora or fauna you would like to see hunted down?"
"I can’t stand journalists. Does that count? Beyond that there are far too many bats in this city. If only the Masters didn’t have quite such an affinity with them I’d be tempted to turn my ratting-piece into a batting-piece and cull a few of those grumpy little sneaks. Only the unlucky ones mind, I don’t want to get on the wrong side of a pubfull of dockers."
edited by Hark DeGaul on 3/31/2016
[quote=Bertrand Leonidas Poole]"Hmm. Well, to restate my earlier inquiry, are there any manner of flora or fauna you would like to see hunted down?"[/quote]Sir, which one would you consider yourself and why? And no, I do not wish to hunt you. Yet. And I also find it rather hard to imagine someone hunting, well, an oak. Or a pine. Oh, by the way, would dropping explosives(or cats) on said sad shroom count as hunting it? And would you like to cook it or some of it’s parts afterwards?
[quote=Hark DeGaul]"Will we one day give blemmigans the vote?"[/quote]Considering the current state of the Foreign Office, replacing hald of its staff with blemmigans seems like a rather good idea.
Considering the vote - I can’t quite remember when I voted last time and it actually mattered. They didn’t put bringing London down to a public vote, for all I know.
"There must be a law against that. Killing blemmigans is "pest removal." Killing… Utterpeople…? is probably murder, legally."
[quote=Talkes][quote=Bertrand Leonidas Poole]"Hmm. Well, to restate my earlier inquiry, are there any manner of flora or fauna you would like to see hunted down?"[/quote]Sir, which one would you consider yourself and why? And no, I do not wish to hunt you. Yet. And I also find it rather hard to imagine someone hunting, well, an oak. Or a pine. Oh, by the way, would dropping explosives(or cats) on said sad shroom count as hunting it? And would you like to cook it or some of it’s parts afterwards?
[quote=Hark DeGaul]"Will we one day give blemmigans the vote?"[/quote]Considering the current state of the Foreign Office, replacing hald of its staff with blemmigans seems like a rather good idea.
Considering the vote - I can’t quite remember when I voted last time and it actually mattered. They didn’t put bringing London down to a public vote, for all I know.[/quote]
Which half do you presume to replace?
And mandrakes can be quite vicious
"I am bored by this discussion of mushrooms. Incidentally, I think we should be much more friendly towards Hell. It’s very warm there and they have some fabulous drinks - if you water them down enough, they usually don’t even kill you. And even if they do, isn’t a good drink worth dying for?
"Also, it’s all the rage right now: there’s this new restaurant in Eviscaration Lane, The Preying Mantis, you must’ve heard of it? Every food they serve is poisoned, so all the customers die - guaranteed! You get a refund if you don’t die. The chef there is a former assassin of the Gracious Widow, he’s well-versed in the use of all known poisons, and invents new ones all the time. So you never know excactly how you’re going to die! Will it be fast or slow? Very painful or not at all? Will you have funny visions and hallucinations before you go? Or will your skin turn an interesting colour? It’s so exciting, I’ve been there every single evening this past week— no, wait: I’ve missed out on Wednesday because I was still dead from Tuesday’s dinner. That happens sometimes, but they have a special room with cozy death-beds for cases of more prolonged death. If you’ve got the coin, you can even arrange homeward transportation of your corpse with the staff there in advance. Really, the place is fabulous!"
[quote=Hark DeGaul]
"If blemmigans can write poetry and have feelings and desires who knows what else they’re capable of. Will we one day give blemmigans the vote? Will we have blemmigan lord mayors and blemmigan parliamentarians? Perhaps they already do vote in their own way. Who’s to say the Uttershroom is not some bizarre ruler as well as an island and thus our destruction of it would not only be pest control but also a high-profile assassination.
Also, as an aside, has anyone thought of just dropping a few thousand cats on the Uttershroom . Those creatures will eat just about anything (I saw them eat a Master once!) and they’re more thorough than fire if they set their minds to it."[/quote]
"Sure, why not? Voting rights for all nonhumans. Voting rights for rats. Voting rights for Clay people. Voting rights for everyone." (She casts her hand out, like she’s sprinkling voting rights around like confetti.)
[quote=Bertrand Leonidas Poole]"
Hmm. Well, to restate my earlier inquiry, are there any manner of flora or fauna you would like to see hunted down?"[/quote]
"There is a species of greedy, twelve-foot tall bundles of laundry I wouldn’t mind seeing stuffed and mounted. Maybe we’ll find out what’s underneath all the towels."
And I despise that bundle of rags Feducci trying to impose the laws of the Presbyterate on London.
Oh! Here’s and idea: Lets start a war between Irem and the Iron Republic! The temporal implications alone will be/shall be/are staggering.
edited by Lord Vaustus on 4/1/2016
Typical of a member of the nobility to advocate an unnecessary war. I hope you’ve dug enough graves for such a line of thinking, because they’ll be filling faster than they can be expanded.
As for Feducci, he’s always been a deceptive character, whatever his nativity. I don’t imagine a supposed tomb-colonist would be able to get much political traction, never mind a foreigner.
-Eli disappears and returns to the fireplace with a bottle of wine, a different bowler hat and someone’s bat perched on his shoulder-
Free libations.
“Aye, free drinks for me. Should I bring some sunlght for everyone?
As for myself I want to see the vake get hunted, if nothing else so I finally learned what that d__N think is.”
I was about to say I don’t really know what the Vake is, but I don’t think anyone knows if it exists. If no-one knows anything about it, how do we know it hasn’t already been caught, or if it even exists in the first place?
"The V— is a man dressed as a bat. Or a bat-man. It speaks English. It can fly. It has discriminating tastes in romantic literature."
We don’t need such a creature prowling about. Nor do we deserve it. Sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I thought snuffers were a myth until last Saturday.
Do we have any proof at all that this isn’t just the journalists fettering the foolish, as the often do?
“Proof-not much-though you could always talk to the hunters. But with the near constant rumors, there is truth at the center. Just what the truth is a different story. . .”
“Also, they prefer cousins.”
[quote=The Absurd Rogue]We don’t need such a creature prowling about. Nor do we deserve it. Sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I thought snuffers were a myth until last Saturday.
Do we have any proof at all that this isn’t just the journalists fettering the foolish, as the often do?[/quote]
"If the V— isn’t real, then I wasted a good portion of my life learning how to use a halberd. I could have used that time to improve my fencing."
“I’m hunting the Vake. Properly. I don’t advise amateurs to try it. And I definitely don’t advise you to cross my path as I hunt it. I’ve drunk Black Wings Absynth to see what it sees, to think what it thinks. I’VE HEARD THE VOICE OF THE VAKE AND SEEN ITS HORRID FACE. This thing is mine.”
“So, what do you know about the Vake?”