A shop of dubious legality

Greetings and welcome!

I am the sort of man who likes to do interesting things, and as such I wished to see if I could open a shop of… dubious legality, flaunt it, and get away with it. I’m going to be blatantly open about the dubious legality of this shop and advertise it as such. Bets of which I shall not mention give it about a week, though I have of course made a few… connections to make things easier, some of which may surprise you.

If you are having issue finding a item you need, be it legal, or not so much come to my shop in The Flit and make me a offer. If I can get it for you, I will.

(OOC Note: I’m not much of a RP’er, so I wanted to do a small thing where I would obtain stuff you may need for other RP’s, for fun ETC. If you feel there is anything I need to know to make this work like what connections I may have, let me know. Also, try to offer a fair price.)

(DISCLIAMER: I cannot get you in game items. This should be obvious but I will say it anyway.

Also, noone said you would get a fair deal. This is a shop of dubious legality, meaning you could very well be in trouble just from turning up. I reserve the right to charge extortionate prices therefore.However, I may just charge a really low price if something strikes my fancy, there is a nice tale behind it, or other conditions. Like I said, it’s more for fun running this shop.)

Hmm, well, what do you have to sell? And what will you pay for the death of one of your enemies? Just state a reasonable price, pay it, and your target will be dismemebered at the bottom of the Unterzee in a day or two.

And what would you pay for a black ribbon duelist/master hunter who’s also a university scholar and theif?

Well, as long as this is an open market, I’m offering my blade and that of a few of my best villains. Also, I’m in the market for tea-leaves soaked with Violant. I want to test a theory that more opposing colors will allow survival in the Nadir longer. Hmm, that makes me think of something. If I flood the Nadir with zee-water (pelgin and apocypan), will that wash the irrigo out? Where will the memories go? Okay, now hiring: construction crew to build canal to Forgotten Quarter

I find myself in need of a small army of L.B.s capable of riding trained dark-carapaced crustaceans into battle. Come to think of it - I will actually require those crustaceans as well. What is your price, Kylestien?

I might be able to get some L.Bs, and maybe a few dockers to help build the canal. Anything welcome, but if possible Infernal items.

I’ve heard from some revolutionary buddies of mine that they’re trying to bring down the Bazaar by collapsing the top of the cavern. Where are we in relation to the surface? Below which country? Anyway, they are asking for several thousand kilograms of high explosive. As for me, I’m in the market for a ticket to the surface and a bribe to the boatman to forget about that one time. No relation to what the revolutionaries are doing. Oh, by the way, Doctor Wolfram, would a devil corpse count as something infernal? My alt sent it to me, and I was planning to eat it, just so see how it tasted (for SCIENCE!), but I think paying you for the canal to the Nadir would be more important
edited by Aegis1000 on 1/6/2015

Note that while we will not interfere in any transactions within this shop itself, we will definitely interfere in any attempts to bring down the cavern roof (which the Revolutionaries would likely never reach, given the number of airborne patrols), as well as any attempts to flood the Nadir. We fail to understand why you would want to flood the Nadir in the first place.

For SCIENCE, of course! If one could absorb all the memories in the cave without giving ones own memories, who knows what we could learn! Besides, what would be the effects of mixing neathy colors like surface colors? No one has tried that before! Avant-Garde! For Pelrrigo!

The Neath has been here for thousands upon thousands of years. We imagine that someone has already tried it. And that attempting to wash the Irrigo out of the Nadir would have… Undesirable side-effects, shall we say. Especially for the individuals working on the canal.

Oh,okay, what were the effecs of mixing the colors? And what would the unpleasant side effects be? Oh, and by the way Snowskeeper, you may want to intefere. I hear that some idiot has sold the revolutionaries a few kilotons of dynamite and a dirgible plan along with a few engine parts. Speaking of dirgibles, why can’t POSI’s have them? I imagine they’d be safer than a ship crossing the Unterzee. Hmm, maybe I’ll pester Failbetter about this once I’m done with my Zubmarine. Still, in case the revolutionaries succeed, I’m still in the market for a surface-ticket and bribe to the boatman.

As far as we are aware, the Boatman is not one for accepting bribes.

Everyone wants something. And if that fails, what if I push him off his boat? Or pay a bunch of people to die simultaneously and do that? And still, what are the effects of mixing neathy colors? If I don’t get an explanation, I am SO flooding the Nadir. Thanks for the dockers, Doctor Wolfram. Was the devil corpse to your taste?
edited by Aegis1000 on 1/7/2015

Not really, but the reward (no, I’m not saying who from, you NUTJOB!) was most nice. Also, I might be able to blow up that dirigible…

A shop of dubious legality is now offering custom orders?
Christmas has come twice to the Overstreet house this year!

I find myself in need of the following items:

  • Red Honey, 1 barrel
  • A lock of hair from The Captivating Princess
  • A small pillow that, when looked upon in a mirror, is a Panther sized cushion
  • A story of love which might break the heart of an iron fisted miser
  • A tale of woe that would turn an honest man to crime
  • The last song a father will ever sing to his daughter

I would be happy to trade an anything which might be found in The Overstreet Tea Shoppe (http://ebzrp.wikia.com/wiki/The_Overstreet_Tea_Shoppe)

We have a lovely selection of teas and cakes, but our primary source of commerce is secrets.
Of those I have in every flavour imaginable.

Doctor, don’t tell my revolutionary buddies I said this, but DO IT. I’ll even supply you with the location. And I am so not a nutjob. Maybe a mad scientist, but not a nutjob. And Nigel, why do you want those things?

Did you know it’s possible to take down a dirigible with a knife? It is if you jump on top of it after having disguised yourself as a stagmite. Also, I think I just invented the hanglider.

Hmm, Mr. Fires would not be amused to discover that you found that out. Maybe you should sell that secret to the revolution. How do you disguise yourself as a stalagmite in the first place? Oh, and Mr. Overstreet, I hear the princess goes to the cellars of the palace occasionally, so I might be able to sneak up on her there. In exchange, can you tell Snowskeeper to stop intefering with my canal to the Nadir? It has barely gotten a mile.

Simple. Their is a text, written on rat hide in blood, from another world, in a whole different alaphabet, on how to do just that. It’s up for sale, only $1 vial of castlinger poison.

One echo in cantigaster venom? That’s like one one-thousand-five-hundred-and-sixtieth of a jar. The cost of equipment to extract that amount would be worth more than the venom. Plus it would burn off my hand. I’ll be back to you with the venom tomorrow