Like so many other things, nursery rhymes are transformed by the Neath. Occasionally, Lady Byron’s newspaper, the Lyre of Erato, publishes the more interesting transformations.
SINGER: There was an old lady who swallowed an eye
I don’t know why she swallowed an eye - perhaps she’ll die!
There was an old lady who swallowed a Sorrow Spider;
That wriggled and wiggled and jiggled inside her;
She swallowed the spider to catch the eye;
I don’t know why she swallowed an eye - Perhaps she’ll die!
There was an old lady who swallowed a weasel;
I hope it’ll please her to swallow a weasel.
She swallowed the weasel to catch the spider,
She swallowed the spider to catch the eye;
I don’t know why she swallowed an eye - Perhaps she’ll die!
There was an old lady who swallowed a cat–
AUDIENCE: A Starveling Cat?
SINGER: A Starveling Cat!
Opened her mouth and swallowed it whole
Just like that! [1]
She swallowed the cat to catch the weasel;
She swallowed the weasel to catch the spider,
She swallowed the spider to catch the eye;
I don’t know why she swallowed an eye - Perhaps she’ll die!
There was an old lady that swallowed a box;
It wasn’t a fox, she swallowed a box;
She swallowed the box to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the weasel,
She swallowed the weasel to catch the spider,
She swallowed the spider to catch the eye;
I don’t know why she swallowed an eye - Perhaps she’ll die!
There was an old lady who swallowed a thief;
Oh what grief to swallow a thief!
She swallowed the thief to catch the box,
She swallowed the box to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the weasel
She swallowed the weasel to catch the spider,
She swallowed the spider to catch the eye;
I don’t know why she swallowed an eye - Perhaps she’ll die!
There was an old lady who swallowed a constable–
AUDIENCE: Huzzah for the old lady!! [2]
Notes:
[1] This line and the one preceding often vary depending on the mood and wit of the performer
[2] At this point a great show of exuberance is expressed: the Fisher Kings toss stolen hats into the air, the Regiment fires off it’s cannon, the Naughts and Crosses toss the smallest of their numbers high in the air, etc.