I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND I’M ALREADY WORRIED
Hark, you and I may never agree on the Dawn Machine, but I can not possibly help but respect your facility with both cats and implications.
You flatter me! You’ve been written into my will for when I inevitably die of starvation.
My only regret is that I couldn’t smuggle more cats in with me, but I suppose that they’re safer out there than trapped in a literal deathbox.
This is great. ^_^
Seeing the voting results, I slightly regret not voting for Robin.
(You were my next choice, but… those abs! 
)
We have our first contestant casualty. Updates in a bit while I go through screenshots.
Edit: 131 Screenshots of mostly different content. Need time to prune.
edited by Estelle Knoht on 6/21/2016
Neither do I, but we are in pretty, good hands. Miranda
(CALL WE SHOULD ALLY, MUSCLEBOUND JOCKS SHOULD STICK TOGETHER)
Obviously, if only for the powerful betrayal funtimes at the end <3
Our WONDROUS CONTEST teaches us an IMPORTANT LESSON - The UNQUESTIONABLE ESSENCE of ALL ALLIANCES is RUTHLESS BETRAYAL.
did you really need the deathbox for that
Betting on Call. Just 'cause.
(This is one of the best ideas ever.)
Welcome back to THE IRRIGO DEATHBOX CHALLENGE, bought to you by our sponsor, the TIGER-BRAND IS-NOT FIREPLACE!
Whether you are watching from the Mirror-Marches or the Surface, you shall never go cold under the UNCARING GAZE of the PALE WHITE THING IN THE DARKNESS ever again!
Aaaaaaaaaand here we go! Morkan, with the agility of a veteran zee-farer, has already made it into the box! Call, Delmar and Vavakx set off for the IRRIGOBOX in perfect synchronicity, while Robin and Daniel take a more patient approach. Cortez and Hark linger outside the box for a staring contest. Is this the start of a friendship, or is it merely fear and loathing that make them hesitate?
Whatever the case maybe, our contestants are now INSIDE THE BOX and FILLED WITH SHARED BLISS! As per the TRADITIONAL WAYS OF THE NADIR, the SINGLE-DOORS OF HORIZON swiftly disappear while their backs are turned. THERE WILL BE NO ESCAPE(ES). Observant audience might notice that Call Now, the ex-athlete she is, wastes no time in making a beeline for frozen potato chips. Smart move, Call!
Our current pairs of fan-favorites, Vavakx Nonexus and Delmar Tramontane, are engaged in an intense negotiation of alliance right off the bat!
Oh dear! It seems negotiation has gone NORTH as Vavakx tells Delmar to "GO FEED THE PALE WHITE THING LIKE A GOOD LITTLE FODDER-RAT"! Delmar is distraught at the hostility, despite knowing that is the EVENTUAL FATE OF ALL SEEKERS. Is Call Now, now with a smug face, approving of this?
It seems not! Now-Call-Now, half-stuffed with semi-frozen potato chips, joins the fray to verbally abuse Vavakx! Delmar looks on smugly as his opponent becomes outnumbered! What misfortune will happens to Vavakx next?
Looking to the right, Morkan is BLISSFULLY IGNORANT of the ugly scene on his left. Eager to capture the beauty of the Surface world and the harmony of his fellow contestants Robin and Daniel to his EAST, the Captain has elected to paint! Who knew he has such an SENSITIVE SOUL beneath the MASCULINE MASK?
Moving EASTWARDS, Cortez and Hark continues their staring contest. Their relationship remains A SEARING ENIGMA.
Back to our fan-favorites, the GREAT DEBATE OF SOULS continue as Vavakx tell Delmar to "GO DOWN TO HELL" while Delmar points out that the two arguments from them are CONTRADICTORY!
Moving on, Robin’s blissful smile has drawn the eyes of the Captain next to him! Morkan looks on with a coy smile…
And two pairs of eyes stare back.
All of a sudden, the SURFACE GAS-LIGHTS go out as THE LIBERATION OF NIGHT attempts its assault! But the dim glow of IRRIGOBOX continues, and the contest goes on, and the contestants ignore the piddly assault of the LAME-LIGHT.
The Boastful Captain, now finished his painting and desperate for a new topic to brag about, boasts that he is capable of CALLING STARLIGHT ON DEMAND! Our sponsor, THE PALE WHITE THING IN THE DARKNESS, decides to answers his beckon in amusement and begins to shine light into the IRRIGOBOX. Morkan finishes with a sultry smile at his contestants.
FAR TO THE EAST, Hark try out the new tactic of turning the CLASSIC GAZE OF THE UNACCOUNTABLY PECKISH onto Cortez as they resume their staring contest. Instead of becoming unnerved, the tactic backfire as Cortez becomes SIMPLY PECKISH instead and grab a bowl of yoghurt. Don’t try this at home, kids!
Delmar counterattacks with the HAND-SIGN OF THE GRACIOUS from the ELDER CONTINENT! It only served to drive Vavakx into further anger, which proceeds to yell more at Delmar.
Uh-oh, Call! Caught RED-HANDED smuggling outside drinks into the IRRIGOBOX! Now, Now, don’t be embarrassed, Call! You can be embarrassed later when the drink inevitably lead you to a fuller bladder.
PRAISE THE WHITE! Delmar and Call eagerly soak up some STARLIGHT while Vavakx complains of his presence. Daniel, joyful over the LIGHT, graces us with a goofy smile and a little painting painted in stealth away from our attention.
Meanwhile, the LOVING LIGHT OF THE WHITE has inspired Morkan for MORE LOVEIN’! The Boastful Captain looks to the EAST and tries to seduce Robin with his curves, then looks to the WEST and invite Vavakx to his chest. Vavakx immediately abandons all argument and is charmed. Morkan, it seems, is not only a ZEE-DOG, but also a DOG.
Harmony begins to form EASTWARDS as Daniel and Cortez the Killer (kill count: 0) take turns making faces at Hark! Hark looks on with a grin. Are they going insane, or are they amused at the insanity of their competitors, or are they just glad to have friends?
Daniel once again contorts with exhilaration under the BLISSFUL LIGHT OF THE WHITE! Robin approves, possibly.
After being on the receiving end of funky faces, Hark decides to repay Cortez with a funny expression of their own! Cortez doesn’t seem amused, however, and looks on to our OMNIPOTENT OBSERVATION with pleading eyes.
As the contest goes on, the western contestants begin to get out of their seat! Call Now and Delmar explore the wonder of SURFACE TECHNOLOGY, the PARAPPLE-BOX, while Vavakx and Morkan get their somber groove on.
JOY ABOUNDS! Hearing the DISTANT LAUGHTER FROM THE EAST, Call Now quickly abandons the PARAPPLE-BOX and gaze afar at the cheerful smiles of Cortez and Daniel, both faced away from her.
As the PALE WHITE THING IN THE DARKNESS turn away his light from the IRRIGOBOX, UNLAWFUL ACTIVITY BEGINS TO SURFACE! Cortez’s art theft of plagiarizing Daniel is unremarked upon, for Daniel did not look.
That soon changes. As THE MERCIFUL LIGHT OF THE PALE WHITE THING dissipates and THE LIBERATION OF NIGHT SEEPS IN, EXCREMENT AND FILTH begins to leave their mark on the contestants and Daniel’s face contorts in pain over the double-sorrow of Art Theft Victimhood and Wetting Pants. Robin, it seems, is suffering from the same symptoms.
The Boastful Captain looks on grimly as the SOLE-UNSOILED individual among his neighbors! Whether in fear for his upcoming fate or his choice of love interests, we will never know.
The three bickering contestants are soon united as they become ADRIFT ON MISERY. Vavakx goes further by being ADRIFT ON DREAMS.
As LIGHT RETURNS, Morkan’s appetite returns! He invites Robin to try his breasts.
Unfortunately for the Captain, Robin is currently preoccupied with self-disgust and a bowl of cereals, and as a loyal follower of the Masters of the Bazaar, Robin is as far away from being UNACCOUNTABLY PECKISH as one can be and is HIGHLY NAUSEATED at Morkan’s suggestion. Daniel also attempts to shield their eyes from it.
A cold-blooded, hardened killer, Cortez decides to drink milk with their mask on as they are surrounded by pools of liquid human excrement, unfazed. Hark, meanwhile, fall asleep with a dubious puddle at their feet. Cortez elects for a glass of liquid even closer in appearance and looks on to the Judgements in appreciation of his life.
While the bickering couple sleeps, Call decides to finally begin exercising AFTER the floor is filled with human refuses! The couple soon awakens and resume bickering among squalid environment.
The Boastful Captain has smuggled drinks of his own like his fellow jock Call Now! He sips on and look on suggestively and fearlessly, despite being surrounded by people who have wetted themselves. Then he begins a complicated rhythmic movement both mocking and semi-seductive. Dubious bold, Captain!
Hark, finally in their element of leperhood in this filthy IRRIGOBOX, graces us with ANOTHER BLISSFUL SMILE. The trance is swiftly broken as Cortez decides to play in their own puddle of refuses.
Daniel, seeing no better thing to do, decides to tighten their ponytail in the most difficult pose as possible.
And Call, desperate for STARLIGHT to sterilize her filthy body, seizes the perfect excuse for sunbathing by claiming to emulate Daniel despite the lack of a ponytail. Unfortunately for her, the LIBERATION OF NIGHT is engaging in a tug-of-war and the STARLIGHT just doesn’t quite reach her.
Disaster! Call’s icebox malfunctions! But finally graced with LIGHT, she manages to repair it successfully. Did we mention that our TIGER-BRAND ICEBOXES are powered by mini-portals to the HIGH WILDERNESS and ARE PERFECTLY ENVIRONMENTAL FRIENDLY? USE TIGER-BRAND, SAVE THE BAZAAR/NIGHT/NEATH/CANDLE!
All of a sudden, the Captain looks on in horror as his chest become sooty and grubby! Sorry Morkan, that’s the INEVITABLE FATE of IRRIGOBOX!
Exhausted from her high-risk endeavor with the TIGER-BRAND ICEBOX, Call Now fall asleep with her ass towards Vavakx, who returns the courtesy after a brief gazing.
Daniel soon follows and join in as a long-distance participants of the WAR OF LOWER BOTTOMS.
The war come to absolutely no results as Vavakx and Delmar return to their seats to bicker once again! Things heat up as Vavakx intimidate Delmar with a murderous expression! Better do better, Delmar, Seeker!
Yet even this came to nothing as the bickering ends in sleep. Vavakx try to get a uncomfortable last shot in by sleeping with her ass towards Delmar, who wisely sleeps with their head to the other side.
Hark’s TIGER-BRAND ICEBOX malfunctions! This is MOST CERTAINLY THE FAULT OF THE CONTESTANT as it is WELL-KNOWN that TIGER-BRAND ICEBOX is NOT TO BE SUBMERGED IN HUMAN REFUSES per the manual.
Over the night, Morkan tries a new track of seduction. Unfortunately, Vavakx was learning from Delmar’s tactic and also slept with her face to the WEST.
AND ANOTHER CONTESTANT SUCCESSFULLY REPAIRS THE ICEBOX, EVEN WHEN STANDING ON THEIR OWN REFUSE! Remember, TIGER-BRAND ICEBOX, your best choice BECAUSE IT IS EASILY REPAIRED!
Or not. Hark refused to finish the job properly, instead electing to fall asleep with their face in an ELECTRIFIED PUDDLE OF THEIR OWN WEE-WEE. They survives; TIGER-BRAND REIGNS SUPREME!
As Robin sleeps on, their icebox breaks down as well! Storm is on a roll today, folks! Three cheers for the DRAGON ENFORCER!
Robin wakes up and immediately rush to fix their Icebox as well. Surely nothing will go wrong?
OR NOT! Just as the DRAGON ENFORCER ate all the MESSENGERS and SHAPELINGS the HUNGRY MONARCH sent, the LOYAL BAT-PET ROBIN ALEXANDER is swiftly taken by STORM! Daniel and Morkan, awakened by the tortured screams, quickly checks on their neighbor.
The Boatman’s Surface-Colleague, THE GRIM REAPER, quickly arrives on the scene. Daniel take a swing of liquid to hydrate himself for the coming scene while Morkan looks on.
Most of the contestants aren’t particularly moved; sleep soon takes Morkan, Hark and Cortez, while Vavakx glares at the smug-n-cheerful pair of Delmar-and-Call.
Who will remember Robin? And who will remember you, Daniel? Daniel grieves for Robin, possibly far more than they grieve for Mr Eaten. Which is proper citizen behavior; REMEMBER, SAVE YOUR SYMPATHY FOR YOUR FELLOW CITIZENS, NOT MR EATEN!
Even in grieve, the stench is unbearable, especially Daniel with his long nose. He takes a short break to clog up his nose to block out the stench of human refuses mixed with charred corpse.
AND LO! IN THE INFINITE MERCY OF THE PALE WHITE THING IN THE DARKNESS, Robin is given a moment to stay around and observe the contest! UNLIKE THE OTHER GREEDY STAR, THE WHITE IS NOTHING IF PATIENT AND ACCOMMODATING. PRAISE THE WHITE!
Daniel is not particularly pleased and complains to Robin of their UNWISE DEATH. Of course, this being a PLENTY-RUN SHOW, REFUNDS ARE UNAVAILABLE IN CASE OF UNWISE DEATHS.
And the Icebox of Cortez the Killer begins to emit an ominous miasma… Stay tuned for the next episode, folks!
There is an IMMENSE POSSIBILITY that the UNTIMELY DEATHS of DARING CONTESTANTS are decided by PUBLIC VOTE. SEVERAL LIVES lay in YOUR HANDS, viewer. Make the APPROPRIATE CHOICE in face of UNAVOIDABLE DEMISE.
ALTRUISTICALLY SAVE Vavakx Nonexus™.
[quote=Vavakx Nonexus]There is an IMMENSE POSSIBILITY that the UNTIMELY DEATHS of DARING CONTESTANTS are decided by PUBLIC VOTE. SEVERAL LIVES lay in YOUR HANDS, viewer. Make the APPROPRIATE CHOICE in face of UNAVOIDABLE DEMISE.
ALTRUISTICALLY SAVE Vavakx Nonexus™.[/quote]
Votes do not impact the contest in anyway, nor the health or fortune of the contestants. It may impact a metaphysical Parabolan reflection of their emotion, but that is outside the scope of this contest.
Curse these athletes and their unlawful smuggling of delicious beverages and muscles! How can we poor, unfit contestants ever know peace when there is a muscle-bound chap enjoying the fizzy, illegal refreshment of 7Cities not five feet away?
Alas, we have our first death. A word to the wise: don’t attempt Ice-Box repair if your What the Thunder Said Quality is higher than 16. You will become a dead god.
Hehe, I suppose not all personalities mesh together. This update is hilarious - I love Morkan’s attitude towards all of this.
[quote=Robin Alexander]Huh, I was kind of secretly hoping I’d make it to the second round, at least . . .
. . . that being said, I’m not too surprised, nor do I doubt anyone else is surprised, either XD The LVP earns their title by dying first! Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep ;)[/quote]
It’s okay, you are at least beloved and grieved.
I’M A DOCTOR
SEE, I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING
Sorry Robin.
[quote=Estelle Knoht][quote=Robin Alexander]Huh, I was kind of secretly hoping I’d make it to the second round, at least . . .
. . . that being said, I’m not too surprised, nor do I doubt anyone else is surprised, either XD The LVP earns their title by dying first! Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep ;)[/quote]
It’s okay, you are the least beloved and grieved.[/quote]
[color=#c2c2c2]I feel like the sentence makes way more sense now.[/color]
[color=#c2c2c2]
[/color]
[color=#c2c2c2]Anyway I like how Call’s strategy is eating something in basically all the screens[/color]
I feel as though shrieking with laughter is highly inappropriate for this situation and I will have to settle for quiet, quick bursts of giggles into my coffee.
(Is that lovely portrait of a strangely familiar tiger available for download? It is highly relevant to my interests)
edited by Glass Doll on 6/22/2016
Ah, I loved the Sims… well, the first two incarnations, anyway.
– Mal