Poetry from the Neath

This is my first post in the forums and it’s to share my poetry, how crazy.
For a course in university, my final project was to hand over a portfolio of poetry that engaged with the contents seen in class. Although my project was very short, I’m satisfied with it, as I based it on the Fallen London Universe.
Below, I will paste the preface that preludes the first poem, and then include the poem in question.
I hope you all like it, and of course I’m open to criticism.

The first poem follows the structure of a Villanelle. Within the universe, London’s poetry has divided into several schools. The one of interest here, the Surfacists, missed the Surface and the old times before London fell. It is discussed within the community that their style would resemble that of some romantics, specially Wordsworth: sensible and emotional, an overflow of powerful feelings recollected in tranquility. A sad Wordsworth, nevertheless, comparable mostly to Keats. The format of choice is a Villanelle because the nostalgic component fits perfectly with those poets who yearn for the light of the Surface.

A Villanelle for the Surface

Please, would you hear my desperate call,
and return this unfortunate soul
to those days before London’s Fall?

When I needed not to guard my eyeballs
from spiders whose webs can my mind hold.
Please, would you hear my desperate call?

If that light could again my heart enthrall
no doubt it would immediately stroll
to those days before London’s Fall

When across the mirrors no serpents would crawl
and I could sleep without the protection of a scroll
Please, would you hear my desperate call?

My desire is very small
but is my one true goal:
To return to those days before London’s Fall

When we would not fear the spies of the Khan
watching the moves of us all
Please, would you hear my desperate call
and take me back to those days before London’s Fall?

Let me know your thoughts!

Very good reading. I would love to know the reactions it got!

Brilliant, well done!