One more typo/misspelling: In the battle for Ketai ‘Triage’ card, if you succeed, it reads “… you recognise those effects, the pale palour, the cold sweats…” I’m assuming you mean ‘pallor’? And while it’s niggling and not a typo, I would be inclined to replace ‘effects’ with ‘symptoms’. :)
City of Phire is a good, solid work so far; I very much enjoyed it, even though I lost the battle. :/
Thanks, Corentin. :) Spelling fixed. ‘Pallor’ looks weird but that’s English for you.
[quote=Lily Fox]Here is my first StoryNexus creation for your examination. I would be very welcome for any thoughts, impressions, questions, recommendations you may have.
>> Play City of Phire by clicking this link. <<
At this time there a couple of features missing, such as one Nex-limited branch and high-menace events (eg death and other colourful consequences)
I have also considered including some explanatory scenes with major NPCs giving the basics of the world, but that may be a bad idea and wisely omitted. Do you agree?[/quote]
I don’t think you need an explanatory scene beyond what’s already there; better to let the players discover the world through trying to advance in it.
I played through to the end several days ago and restarted tonight with a new character, Ceil. So far, it’s greatly improved. All I’ve noticed is a few broken icons (for example, after you play your first “welcome” card the “occurrence” icon was broken, as in the icon in your Qualities list for the “Stranger” quality).
This was my first play-through, and I have to say it leaves an impression for the world that truly is what the description said: dark and hopeless, with much to be learned. However, when I was presented with the choice of killing Martha and declined (I don’t know if I’m able to even test the other choices), I expected the next thing to be either death, or waking up in a pile of corpses, the sole survivor of the massacre. Maybe you have meant this to be a dead branch, I don’t know. Either way, it was the thing that broke the feeling from the game a bit. I will certainly replay it, with more preparation, or with preparation in other qualities.
I have just started playing, and I notice the lttle box that says question. I have noticed it in other people’s games as well, I assume it is something to be filled in later?
I am amazed by how many details, different paths and stats, you were able to put into this story. I am fascinated already, and waiting for my actions to refresh. Clearly you are more creative than I.
Thanks for your feedback Catherine, IvPopov and Katherine.
Katherine - I can’t find what you are talking about. I have a hunch it is related to a card image that isn’t showing yet. Could you possibly reply with what browser you are using and a screenshot of the ‘question’?
I am currently using Firefox, and I have actually seen it show up once in your game, I think it was immediately after I selected Feminine.
Edit: It just popped up again, I am on a work computer so I can’t do a screenshot, but I will copy/paste what I am seeing:
Where it says “You were fortunate” there was a little box that said cardfan this time, but on previous choices on StoryNexus I have seen it say question.
edited by Katbeth86 on 8/18/2012
edited by Katbeth86 on 8/18/2012
Ah, thanks a lot. =)
Yeah, that’s out of my control but I’ll pass it along to FBG.
Hey there. I just finished going through City of Phire. A couple of comments, mostly on the story presentation.
–I was kind of disappointed not to be in the City of Phire. This leads into…
–I felt unmotivated to stay in this little town, knowing there was some awesome crumbling city somewhere. It felt like the beginning of Fallout: New Vegas, except I couldn’t leave, which leads into…
–It felt grindy. Very, very grindy. The lack of motivation was probably part of this.
The setting seems to have potential but I was a bit puzzled why an unskilled stranger was leading a town to victory over raiders. I felt it could have used more narrative, somehow? Maybe more opportunity cards?
i’m intrigued, an enjoyable experience. Though i’m not sure where i missed a few "prologue"s so all the end options were not unlocked. (not saying it’s broken or anything)
oh yeah i think that fame and infamy would go well in one stat (not sure how it functions but you get what i’m getting at) or maybe, to put it differently, they should be mutually exclusive. i found it strange to have fame x and at the same time infamy y…
What is a “scabre”?
edited by Passionario on 8/31/2012
AlkorDumahimZodd - You didn’t miss picking up Prologue points, not as such. At the end different Prologue values are assigned dependant upon your success or failure in the battle and your immediate choice afterwards. The alternative rewards are visible to give a hint at what might have happened. =)
Also, thanks for your feedback regarding reputation. It is an unusual design choice, I grant you, but I think it’s important to represent a more nuanced opinion of you by each community.
Passionario - You know, I always thought that was how ‘sabre’ was spelled and never thought to check. Maybe I saw it written like that somewhere. No matter, sorted now. Thank you.
@ Kathrine Cunningham
“Where it says “You were fortunate” there was a little box that said cardfan this time, but on previous choices on StoryNexus I have seen it say question.”
I assume this is just because SN has very few images available at the moment. “Cardfan” would presumably be the placeholder name for something like the icon Echo Bazaar uses for luck-based results (a hand fanning out some cards).
So it’s nothing to do with Lily’s work in particular, and will presumably be sorted out automatically when that image gets made and uploaded.
[quote=SmyJohn]@ Kathrine Cunningham
“Where it says “You were fortunate” there was a little box that said cardfan this time, but on previous choices on StoryNexus I have seen it say question.”
I assume this is just because SN has very few images available at the moment. “Cardfan” would presumably be the placeholder name for something like the icon Echo Bazaar uses for luck-based results (a hand fanning out some cards).
So it’s nothing to do with Lily’s work in particular, and will presumably be sorted out automatically when that image gets made and uploaded.[/quote]
That was my basic estimation from a few different Story Nexus games I had played through, but I wanted to point it out just in case ^__^
Some final polish, adding features that have recently been made available by FBG, will be added in the coming days. Feedback is still appreciated and will be rewarded ;).
Hey there! What are your future plans for this world? I assume it’s still focusing on the introduction chapter for now?
Yes, it’s not practical to expand the game-area immediately but I do plan on CoP continuing after the World of the Season competition. (I will be working on it in the mean time, of course.)
City of Phire is, at its heart, an open-world setting. There are a great many places, people and mysteries in the Raelian desert and it would be a shame not to see any more.
That all having been said, you may have noticed I have two big StoryNexus worlds in development - this and Maelstrom. Which one gets priority depends upon what players like yourself are more interested in continuing. =)
I am kicking myself that I hadn’t changed this weeks ago but…
And, a rather significant change:
.
edited by lily on 9/28/2012
A secret cache has been discovered! In the sands is hidden an extra little something for the first 50 visitors: phire.storynexus.com/a/SecretCache
For opportunity cards, it needs more cards that earn Athletics, Martial, or Survival. Given all the Knowledge and Persuasion Cards, you progress faster in those then in the other stats.