Actually, I’m pretty sure the former is correct. I’ve seen it used that way in other fantasy stories, and it does make sense as an exclamation, since you’d be gasping it out all at once, no room for pauses.
I definitely do think that the prologue feels a bit rushed. There’s not a whole lot of text explaining things, I’m just saddled with a bunch of qualities right off the bat, then I’m told to explore the city without much explanation. I do think that being introduced to a few of the NPCs or even just having Felix explain where I am and what’s going on would help me to orient myself a bit more.
Also, in the “Sunlight” card, I do think that the dagger image is misplaced. Especially combined with the branch text, it looks like you’re going to threaten him.
(Hm, you’re using feet instead of meters?)
The prologue cards are set up nicely – they give you a sense of freedom without swamping you, and each has a clearly-defined purpose. I do find it strange that the failure for survival training involves already knowing what Francis is talking about, though – logically, wouldn’t the chance of that increase the higher your Survival got? Yet, the way the mechanics work, it’s the opposite…
You also have an awful lot of grammar errors:
-In the “Awake” card: “… impossibly high, everyone knew none ever returned who attempted the journey but you had found a way.” There should be a comma after “journey”.
-In the “Awake” card: “A sandstorm set in, you remember that clearly, and then, what?” That last comma shouldn’t be there, I think.
-In the “Awake” card: “Today, at last, you can think clearly though your head still throbs blindingly with each breath.” Should be a comma after “clearly”.
-In the “Awake” card: “You do not remember that being so painful, but you are now standing at least.” That last part sounds a bit awkward – I think it should be “standing now” instead of “now standing”.
-In the “Sunlight” card: “The sun burns hot and bright overhead and here is not a cloud in the sky”
-In the “Sunlight” card: “He has frozen, staring at you, while running a wetstone” That should be “whetstone”.
-In the “Running the streets” branch of the “Finding your feet” card: “It is hard going at first but soon you settle into your stride as your body remembers how to move.” Should be a comma after “first”.
-In the “Trusty Felix” branch of the “Finding your feet” card: “[…]but it certainly felt like a content.” Also, the title is buggy; there are a bunch of commas at the beginning.
-In the “Prepare the Defences” card: “The town militia are few in number but they are doubly certain to station lookouts on the wall.” There should be a comma after “number”.
-In the “Prepare the Defences” card: “If you could find out what the raiders have done before, maybe you can pre-empt them and better prepare yourselves?” Is that question mark supposed to be there? I think a period makes more sense.
-In the “Prepare the Defences” card: “The town wall is a formidable barrier but the gatehouse doors are brittle from age and decades of near continuous sandblasting.” There should be a comma after “barrier”.
And I’m out of actions.
Anyway, this looks interesting. Fantasy is my favourite genre, so I look forward to finding out more. However, I do notice that the branches for the “Prepare the Defences” card lock if the quality is above 6, correct? Since I doubt there is a way to cap qualities yet, wouldn’t that mean that players could theoretically lock themselves out of advancing the story if they stat grind too much?