My humble Mayoral Candidates for 2017

I don’t normally bother perusing the forums, but all this election hubbub has been far too delicious to miss.

In order to keep it fun and interesting for next year, I humbly suggest we should draw even clearer lines in the sand and do a little more fighting amongst us Londoners.

Mayoral candidates next year could, mayhaps, represent certain groups with clear agendas, leading to very specific changes should the candidate be elected.

So without further ado, here’s a humble offering of my choice candidates for next year’s election.
As narrated by some strange man with a funny hat. I have no idea where he came from.

Disclaimer: English is not my native tongue, so keep the complaints about grammar on the down-low.

Silas the Showman, representing entertainers of all sorts everywhere.
Bread and circus for all! Also magic tricks and prostitutes, for a charge. Magic prostitutes still under development.

Who better to lead Fallen London for a year? Silas the Smooth Showman. The Mighty Magician. The Monster of Mahogay Hall. He knows how to keep you entertained, no matter the cost. And the cost is great.

Hold onto your hats, and kindly leave your shoes at the door, for Silas the Showman will promise a year of entertainment plenty!
Politics can surely wait a year, no?

Oh, what’s that? Is entertainment not your thing? Perhaps you have an interest in all things intellectual?
Why, we have just the candidate for you!

Candidates, actually. The rules for running for Mayor weren’t very thoroughly written.

Representing the University – &quotan all dems thinks much smarts&quot as the Urchins say – in this epic race for Mayor, we give you Provost of the Summerset school, and the Principal of Benthic school.

The two intellecual giants have put differences aside (or have they?!) and teamed up to become Mayor together.
(Like I said, the rules aren’t very refined, folks. There might have only been a paragraph written down, somewhere.)

The intellectual duo promise many a thing, from increased trade with the Surfacers to reducing the powers of the Masters.
Free education for all, they even say. Rather nuts they are, say I. Who ever could cover the cost?

But moving on.

Our next candidate is the Captivating Princess. Representing the high class society. Presumably.

A lovely sight for any pair of eyes, indeed. Indeed. Even for those with a curious lack of eyeballs, she’s still a charm. Her voice smooth as honey. Sweet, sweet honey. Mmmm. Her scent as that of the fields of roses up on the surface… oh, where was I?


The Captivating Princess is rather disappointed in the current status quo in the city, and seeing how the two candidates from the University were allowed to run together, the Captivating Princess sees no reason why a royal couldn’t run either. After all, the rules aren’t very ruly.

We really should find out who makes these rules and ask for some accountability. Or maybe not. This could be delicious fun. Ah.

The Captivating Princess wishes all things refined and pretty for the rather uncultured and unseemly Londoners.
The Masters have pledged to help her in such a noble pursuit for refinement and taste, all the while condemning the other candidates as being too uncultured and raucous, flat out offensive or just unbelievably rubbery.

Last but not least, we have a Rubbery Man running for Mayor.

What he wants, or what his name is, we do not know. When asked, I heard something akin to pebbles chattering under breaking waves, and a furious waving of tentacles and other appendages ensued immediately thereafter.

Needless to say, I fled the scene with all due haste, but got the distinct impression that the uninflatable wacky waving rubbery man wanted to run for Mayor.

Surely that must be it, and surely it must be allowed since we’re letting absolutely everyone run. What a mockery of democracy, this. But the rules are the very few rules and the elections must go on.

But I digress, a solid candidate, that one, no doubt.

This, dear Ladies and Gentlemen and people of more excotic reproducing methods, concludes our tour of the latest candidates for Mayor.

Thank you for reading and get the hell off my lawn. I didn’t even invite you here.
edited by Mazater on 7/16/2016
edited by Mazater on 7/16/2016

Topsy King 2017.

Cheery Man 2017.

I’m so torn between the Topsy King and the Pirate Poet… if the Poet were to manage the King’s campaign, I’d be in like a shot. Vote for the Art Crime ticket, 1895! (The Provost could be a tricky choice, given his role in certain branching storylines - the Principal of Benthic’s certainly due a bit more exposure, though.)
edited by Sir Frederick Tanah-Chook on 7/18/2016

I still like that one suggestion for the Amused Lordship I’ve seen on the forum. He’s so cheery and fun - I’d vote for him in a heartbeat.

dr. gideon orthos WHO IS HE nobody knows

Madame Shoshana, famous clairvoyante
Had a bad cold; nevertheless
Is known to be the wisest woman in London,
With a wicked pack of cards.
edited by Passionario on 7/19/2016

I want to see the Great Psychic War between Shoshana and Pleat. Goat-controlling phony psychic and a hypnotist, none of which bothers to do platforms. Just mass brainwashing.

How about the Last Constable? Jer against the entire force…

You want the Last Constable to die? Because that’s how you get the Last Constable killed.

The Manager of The Royal Bethlehem Hotel 1895

The Manager reluctantly announced his running for mayor. He was slow at first but claims that a persuasive gentlemen convinced him to run. He beckons the crazed, the strange, and the mysterious voters to support him on his merry way! Though his motives for running are not clear, you can be sure that his platform is the same! He refuses to be interviewed and when addressing supporters only says that if he is elected, he will make London the crazed madhouse it always deserved to be! Though not all is certain, we can be sure of one thing. The manager is not a contestant that can be counted out.
edited by nathan7 on 7/22/2016

You want the Last Constable to die? Because that’s how you get the Last Constable killed.[/quote]
There might be continuity issues with her running for Mayor?

Jack of Smiles 1895

There have been whispers, rumors, and gossip of a familiar name joining the race. One who would be crazy to show his face in the election. However, that is the word that best describes the man. Rumour has it that the infamous Jack of Smiles has tossed his knife into the race, and the reaction has been huge. Many are scared and confused by the news, but a select few have reacted with a malicious joy. One thing is for sure, if this man wins, God help us all!
edited by nathan7 on 7/22/2016

Here’s two more potential candidates for 1895: Mrs. Gebrandt (my husband’s idea: esrtweet) and the Tiger Keeper (mine).

Knuckle-Scarred Inspector 1895

As soon as the election was announced, the Knuckle-Scarred Inspector was first in line to sign up. He claims that there will never be peace without order. He says “The Constables are pawns of the masters and the neddy men are corrupt bullies. The only true way”, he claims,“for the law to be upheld is with the velocipede squad.” Although the Insector has been very vocal about his platform, whenever he has been given criticism, or asked to be more specific about the kind of peace the Velocipede Squad will bring, he has been much more secretive. Although some question his method, he definitely stands for the upholding of the law. However, which laws he will enforce, only time will tell.

The Kashmiri Princess 1895

The Kashmiri Princess has announced her (their?) candidacy, and many people are excited! They (she?) have been talented at capturing hearts during her (their?) performances. However, some say that although she is an incredible entertainer, there is no way they can handle the politics of the mayoral election. Despite all of the doubters, they have crowds of supporters shouting her name. She claims that what London really needs is more freedom. Freedom from convention, and freedom from obligation, and freedom from oppression. Whether or not this is all just a strategy to get more business or not, you know that the two of them are a powerful force.

Feducci :>

We should write newspaper articles about all our suggested candidates to add more intrigue.

What about a rubbery man? Or a tiger? Why must we limit ourselves to humans? Or mostly humans?