Looking for Delicious Penpals! [Closed]

[Status - CLOSED; title will be changed should the status change]

Good evening, Delicious Denizens of Fallen London,
I have a tempting proposition to make. I propose an exchange of letters. Yes, I am searching for a penpal – a delectable friend to exchange letters with; the written word, paper, ink, stamps and all that.

The letter exchange is to be from one Neath denizen to another (i.e. RP – roleplay), as well as from the persona underneath the Neath-y mask. Why the latter, you may ask? Well, as it is likewise riveting! What interests does the person ‘neath the Neath persona cater to? What literature are they reading? What moving pictures are they watching? And a myriad of other entirely random queries… Therefore indeed, two letters in one envelope is the only path to tread.

Is there a catch? My word! How else would it be? Now, to elucidate on that – I am unfortunately, not well versed in the lore of the London that hath Fallen. Hence, I am capable of writing letters in spirit of the fallen city – rather than from true lore-rich knowledge. In addition, I wish the narrative to be created in a mutual effort. Whilst, I cannot say that I lack the imagination, the story is to be driven by both parties – not simply thrown to the care of one person. If I have not frightened you away yet, continue reading.

Another catch is this – the letters from both correspondents (that is me and you, dear potential penpal) are to be sent simultaneously; in other words, the first exchange must be done at the same time.

Why, why?” – You may wonder. Well, as you may or may not know, there are mail collectors out there. Bastards of the highest order, I tell you, dear reader. These most loathsome individuals agree upon exchanging letters and never write back, without a word or apology, or explanation. This leaves one wondering had that penpal perished and lamenting the time wasted writing correspondence, which was deemed unworthy of a response.

Therefore, I suggest a parallel exchange with proof shared when the letter-writing is in process (fret not, I will provide photographic evidence of it as well). How will that ever work? You may wonder. Quite elementary, truly. The correspondents must simply agree upon which questions/answers to write, and what format their letters are to follow. While detailed and potentially time-consuming, this is not that impertinent. Since, it will be necessary to share information concerning the Neath personas, establish what connection there is between them – and if the potential correspondents (once again, You & I) are compatible penpals in the first place.

Once the first exchange is complete, then it will continue as customary. I am agreeable to being the first to continue with the second wave of mail.
Are you still interested? Excellent, Reader of my writing, excellent!

Now, “what does one need to exchange letters?”, you may wonder. Henceforth, a primer on exchanging mail / reminder to those in the know:

  1. Valid address
    You may think to yourself, “But who, who does not have an address?” However, as I have been informed from contacts with significantly more experience in such endeavors, it doth happen when addresses are given as follows – “Oh, yea, that red house on the left of Dunce Street”. Therefore, in such cases, the race of Mailmen rebels and mail does not reach the intended recipient. In summary, postal codes, postal codes, postal codes and postal codes. Where to obtain this code most sought after by Mailmen (not to be confused with Molemen)? On the Web, via postal sites – usually, one can obtain this code by entering their address in appropriate fields.

  2. Abode’s reasonably close proximity to a post office (or other establishments that deal in proper mail paraphernalia [e.g. envelopes, stamps, etc.])
    Any potential penpal must consider whether they will be able to actually mail their letters and/or obtain the necessary equipment to dabble in this endeavor. Because if you are thinking, “I have to trek nine leagues on foot to the establishment that deals with postage and fight thirteen creatures of old, and one stubborn God of Yore, oh an also, help seven nanas with their errands (how very kind of you, and what a quaint chance to pick pockets!)” – if that is the case, perhaps exchanging letters is not for you?

  3. Time.
    Writing letters is extraordinarily time-consuming. It is a worthwhile pastime and enjoyable to boot. However, completing a letter is not something that can be accomplished in several hours, mayhap not even within a day.
    Therefore, if your line of thought courses thusly – “I must go backpacking to Timbuktu and infiltrate the Sankore Madrasah to pilfer knowledge in a fashion most scholarly” or “Have you heard? Have you heard? The Minos’ labyrinth, the labyrinth of Crete has been submerged! I am heading with an expedition of scholars to uncover it! The Minotaur residing in the maze is a friend of mine and his relations with the Drownies are poor!”, “Look see, there is this gaggle of Urchins, which I wish to adopt” or perhaps you’re even “Planning on exploring the Himalayan mountain range? Why, yes, yes I am! I wish to conquer the highest mountains and learn the ways of Tibetan Sky Burial. For burial of my enemies, of course, in the manner which I wish to be honored with myself” – then perhaps, exchange of correspondence is not for you. To summarize, if you are embrangled in time-consuming pursuits or are plotting to be so – I must unfortunately be the bearer of ill news – writing and receiving letters is not for you.

While I would be amenable for exchanging a letter or two in a year (time permitting, more frequently); however, if you do not feel that you can waste hours of your time for crafting a single letter – alas, I must decline exchanging correspondence with you.

I shall elucidate why letter-writing is such a time-devouring interest. Now, Lords of the Forum permitting, I have attached some visual aids in what this pursuit entails. As I do not know how many images I am allowed to submit to a single post, I’ve hastily cobbled them into one. Pardon, I only had one header/page of a genuine letter to display (the one blurred for purposes of anonymity). However, I hope other visual aids will illustrate my point. The illustrations and the sewn-together pages are entirely my own creations. While not part of any letters I’ve exchanged – these endeavors of mine I use to illustrate the spirit/imagery of potential correspondence.

Ah, it seems I cannot attach any images. Nor have I been successful with the image-via-link feature. I’ve submitted the image to imgur and left the link below. Please inform me, should the link cease operating.


Aside from containing ornate headers, illuminations and illustrations – letters must also be written properly. But what is the meaning of that? Allow me to elaborate. Letters must always be written in full, i.e. each question answered in a manner that indicates the query it is in response to. To provide an example, should the question be – “Do You frequent the Shuttered Palace?” – the answer cannot be “Yes” or even “Yes, I do”, the answer has to be something in the vein of “Yes, I do visit the Shuttered Palace”. This must be observed to uphold the clarity of the letter. Else, the answers may turn out nonsensical or even murder an entire line of conversation – as who can be bothered to go five letters back to try and remember what the discourse concerned. Another time-consumer is just how a letter must be prepared prior to being put to pen. This part however is a recommendation, yet unless the potential penpal can write their thoughts without any errors and their thoughts never wander – the recommendation is a must, I am afraid to say. Now, what is this recommendation that is such a must? Well, the recommendation is typing the letter prior to writing it by hand. Why, oh why is that so important? Several reasons. Firstly, for recollection – in order to recall how the conversation went (even with the proper answering model implemented perfectly, if the writer’s memory is not eidetic – after waiting for months, the entire topic may slip from one’s mind) and for nostalgia. Secondly, thoughts are slimy and eel-like, who can ever put them down without fault, without shadows of their meandering qualities left behind? In other words, to make a letter comprehensive, to keep the letter’s flow coherent and to avoid making mistakes – is why the recommendation is more of a requirement. Therefore, a letter must first be put to reality via medium where it can be edited and rewritten – without fear of ruining perfectly good penmanship with a plentitude of struck-out sentences and words. Errors occur even if this prewriting-before-writing system is followed, imperfections make perfect – however, effort is important.

You are still reading, still interested? Dear, such valor! For I am not concise. Tread further, if your heart has not been shaken so far.
If the provided visuals have turned your thoughts to – “What appalling skill! That penmanship is horrid! I shall not sully myself and deign to exchange postage with someone with this subpar level of artistic and calligraphic skill!

Then consider this, how should your meal taste? Has your food tasted somewhat different? Is the wine nowadays more vinegar than wine? Is that the current trend?
Then again, with your love of Paris Green wallpaper and arsenic-based face-creams, my efforts may have been wasted. It is only a matter of time…

However, should you think something akin to – “This is far too complicated! I am not a Bohemian! I do not know your fancy ways and cannot match your illustrative nonsense!
I can assure you, it is truly not about the skill. There are many ways to cheat and gain visually appealing letters without much experience and skill. I have exchanged mail and still do – with individuals, who possess no artistic inclination, yet they manage to produce letters pleasing to the eye. So, fear not, I can share all the secrets about copying fonts, ageing paper and anything else – if you so wish!

If your heart has not shuddered even once and your mind is still yearning for a letter exchange, respond and we shall move onto discussing it post-haste!

Thank you for reading, delectable Neath Dweller!

P.S. New forum members should note that they will not get email notifications when someone responds to them. If there is such a feature, I cannot find it (it is definitely not turned on automatically). Therefore, remember to log back in - to check for replies.
edited by Mad-as-a-Hatter on 4/21/2021
edited by Mad-as-a-Hatter on 3/25/2022