I recently played the story, and I really liked it. The mystery made me reread my Journal, think and write comment to understand what happened, what was the timeline of event and where was who at what time. I pat myself on the back, since I managed to figure out who the killer was and how they committed the murder before my character made their accusation. Overall, it was really good and well written. Now, I’m gonna have to use a spoiler box for the stuff I didn’t like has much. The train breaking down and the exploration of that region (hell?) was cool, and so was the "timer" that forced you to plan your actions (I managed to sabotage the train and save everyone so more pat for me). However, it came out of nowhere and broke the flow of my investigation. Also, I’m not sure who sabotaged the train, as far as I know the only other person who had the opportunity was the killer, and she would have to had done so while I was with her in the crew carriage. However, that doesn’t make sense, since she wanted to go to hell. So I don’t know. The other bit I didn’t like as much was that the identity of the killer was given to you. I was super scared and excited by the idea that I would have to choose the correct answer, and that’s what pushed me to try to solve the murder before making any accusation. Now, while I did guessed that the killer was the Disgraced Dignitary (she was the only one had the opportunity to commit the murder, by exploiting the Saturnine Earl’s disease), I was disappointed that my character figured out the answer without input on my part. I think it was a missed opportunity, and it kind of made my effort a bit pointless.I mean yes, in a real whodunit, the reader watches the character solve the murder, but the fact that I had to collect the clues, that I could choose who to interact with, it put the player in the feet of the detective, so when your character just tell you what the answers is, it’s a bit jarring. Technically, the only enigma that had to be answered for the story to progress was the identity of the Lilly. Maybe it’s just because I got too excited. Anyway, as I said earlier, the story is still really good and engaging, so don’t let my nitpick dissuade you to give it a shot.
Sorry to dig an old post, but I just played this story recently and missed the chance to either descend or subotage the train. The old echoes with storynexus do not work for me, so I would be grateful if someone can link me the echoes for those two options! :)
I’ve successfully sabotaged the train and ready to depart. But this "descend’ option is nudging me. Will some bad happen if I’ll linger in Henlys a little longer? Will I loose the rest of this detective story?
Exceptional Stories don’t work like that; you may encounter branches along the way, but they tend to be shallow, and they certainly won’t cost you a significant chunk of a paid story. In other words: no, you won’t lose the rest of the story.
That said, it’s been a week since you posted this. Did you descend?
No, I sabotaged the train and deciced not to risk.
Actually, that point (won’t cost you a significant chunk of a paid story) has not always been true. I recall a Zee-based tale of bound sharks (The Stag and the Shark) where one course of action led to the story being roughly 15% shorter (approx. 8.500 rather than approx. 10,000 words).
Oh, goodness. I hope it was worth it, at least.
Not to make a zombie thread here, but i just played this and it was excellent! Thanks to all these helpful comments i was able to sabotage the train, descend, save the people, and enter hell. Very eventful! Loved the writing. It would have been nice to have a memento, like the watch, but oh well.