Irrefutable Proof

This thread is for posting absolutely incontrovertible evidence that your candidate’s victory is completely assured, to the point that the election itself is a waste of time. Naturally, demonstrations of the eminent victories for all three candidates are encouraged. I’ll lead off:

It is an inescapable historical precedent that 100% of London elections have been won by the candidate with a real name. Jenny is an actual, real name. Feducci may or may not be his real name, but it is a real name that belonged to people. That is two out of two, a complete sweep.

Ergo, it is a statistical certainty that our next mayor shall be Mr. Slowcakes. Q.E.D.

Jenny was an interesting candidate!
Feducci was an interesting candidate!

The Jovial Contrarian is boring.
The Captivating princess is an interesting candidate, but dangerous!
Mr. Slowcakes is an interesting candidate!

It shall be Slowcakes!

It is an inescapable truth that the most outrageous candidate has won 100% of previous elections. The Captivating Princess is the most outrageous candidate. Therefore, her victory is assured. QED.

It’s always been won by someone with two of the same letter in their name.

Sinning Jenny

Therefore, The Captivating Princess will absolutely, irrefutably win!
edited by Rhode Wardwado on 6/20/2018
edited by Rhode Wardwado on 6/20/2018

Like Batman, the Jovial Contrarian always loses the first round and wins the second.

The sinful has always won in the past elections (Sinning Jenny, Feducci) so therefore the only correct candidate to win is the most sinful man himself, Mr Slowcake

You’re forgetting that up till now the most self-interested or evil candidate has always won.

I don’t remember Jenny being particularly self-interested. She was very questionable and I strongly campaigned against her, but she genuinely cared for London, as was clearly shown by her later appearances (unless she’s a master actress and propagandist).

Sinning Jenny might not look so bad after the Bandaged Bandit, but in 1894 she ran for office with the clear intent of enriching herself and benefiting her Bohemian friends. You might remember her Department of Public Works, staffed with her Bazaarine artists, which to my knowledge never actually built anything. She was the most self-interested candidate at the time, a very self-interested Mayor, and Feducci clearly took notes.

So, even if I were to agree with that (which I’m not)…

Which candidate would that indicate in this election?

The Captivating Princess is clearly narcissistic and evil, but on closer inspection (and closer inspection is what it takes to fit Jenny to the criteria at hand), I’m not sure she’s actually the front-runner for either attribute.

Mr Slowcakes represents the interests of Hell. Like, all of it. As sadistic as the Princess is, she’s only one individual, not a whole Faction. I’m not sure she compares.

And as to narcissism… well, the Jovial Contrarian appears more interested in campaigning against himself from two years ago than either of the actual candidates today.

Mr. Slowcake is, without a doubt, the least self-interested candidate to ever seek the Mayoral office. He has no avaricious desires, lusts for gain, or ulterior motives. He is putting himself forward as a candidate not from ambition, but because he was compelled to do so by his very nature.

The Captivating Princess wants to make London more beautiful, according to her impeccable standards. She won’t be financially benefiting from these policies and London as a whole would benefit. She really is quite evil though in her personal life, isn’t she?

The Contrarian is a good man who is running out of an earnest desire to provide London with needed reforms and help the city avoid future calamity.
edited by Anne Auclair on 6/22/2018

All mayors have been an authority of an organization already.

Sinning Jenny had a school.
Feducci lead the Black Ribbon Society.
The Captivating Princess is a head of the state.

Therefore the Princess must win.

Also while all your points are interesting can we get back to the topic at hand? We need to prove the Princess will win!

While he’s not my candidate, I must admit that a Slowcake victory would cement the pattern of London’s mayors always being agents of foreign powers running under false identities.

That’s a bit much for describing Jenny.

She was a part of a secret society, but that’s not the same as being an agent of a foreign power (and no false identity to my knowledge).

By the same token you could say the same for the Contrarian (as a member of the Calendar Council. And we know the Liberation stretches way outside if the Neath).

The Sisterhood is officially classified as a British naval instillation (Sunless Sea). Although they have their own agenda and are practically independent, I don’t think they really count as a foreign power, and no evidence emerged of Jenny spying for anyone else. In all honesty, the whole battle between Jenny and Southwark could be written up as simply another chapter in London’s many ecclesiastical rivalries.

The Contrarian’s position seems pretty comparable to Jenny’s, actually.
edited by Anne Auclair on 6/23/2018

The Contrarian’s position seems pretty comparable to Jenny’s, actually.[/quote]
I’d say moreso. While the Calendar Council is not necessarily synonymous with the Liberation, we can’t ignore that connection. And the Liberation is an enterprise which is very much in service of a Foreign Power (deliberate capitalization), even if not all of its followers know that.

Funnily enough, I’d always interpreted that to mean that they categorise it as a foreign military installation. A group of Second City monster hunters doesn’t really qualify as one of the Neath’s major powers - they’re no Khanate or Presbyterate - and, given their involvement in the Masters’ scheming, they’re practically allies, but I still thought they were officially Not Quite Our Sort.

Funnily enough, I’d always interpreted that to mean that they categorise it as a foreign military installation. [/quote]
It’s right next to two other British possessions, the Shepherd’s Isles and Station III, so I’ve always assumed they it was one of Londons, more or less.

I think &quotNot Quite Our Sort&quot is probably the reason for the vigorous debate.

Are the Shepherd Isles claimed by London? I thought they were just one of the many settlements around the Neath with no particular affiliation.