Hello, acquaintances! It is I, Emiran Wolfgang! Monster-hunter/breeder extraordinaire!
I have recently come to a point where I have found myself with A GROSS EXCESS OF ANGER FOR THE FACT THE B_____Y DEVILS ARE STILL TROUNSING ABOUT LONDON FOR SOME REASON (F___ YOU V______A). Apparently, I am now a ‘shattering force’ which means I am to share my knack for being able to commit non-consensual amputations to someone else. Here are some things you can expect to learn from a person such as myself:
- How to swim without dying.
- How to properly pet a dog/serpent/serpent-dog
- How to return souls with grace and poise (prerequisite: bring your own timepiece)
- How to properly suplex a goat-demon
- How to make nevercold brass silver cold
- How to properly harass the masters
- How to revert death by playing chess as a result of committing said harassment
- How to ride a velocipede without committing vehicular manslaughter/chronic instant-self-death
Accepting applications from all! (Even devils. I want to sharpen my debating skills.)