I have written a poem about the Sunless Sea...

Feel free to offer praise or criticism as I am aspiring poet upon the Zee…

The Sunless Sea
by Dread Lord

[i][b]&quotThe Sunless Sea has drawn us to the Neath
where the Madness and Fear are freely bequeathed
whispering their silent siren songs sweetly into the leadened slumbering hours
far beneath the light of day where living shadows stalk us across the echoing watery caverns.&quot

&quotThus we cast about our fragile ray of light…
upon the trackless expanses of the Unterzee’s inky twilight…
frittering about like tiny fireflies…
sailing around the outer reaches of an alien world…
whose waters wash over us like an unholy funeral shroud…
where Death is a kindness oft sought but seldom found…
over this unearthly mile beneath the ground…&quot

&quotWe entrust our lives and souls to the glow of that tiny gas-lamp array…
all to see the actinic gas-lit glare of yet another grim day…
as we struggle to keep the malevolent darkness from our Way…
to hold our last feeble rays of sanity from flying away…
beneath the errant and fetid breath of the alien gods in the sea beneath the cargo bay.&quot

&quotListen to we who have sailed this Way before…ignore the Zee’s siren call and live your life ashore…tis better to cling to the tiny rocks awash in a kindly if ignorant bliss…lest you find that some secrets far better left undisturbed upon this…Sunless Sea.&quot[/b][/i]
edited by Dread Lord on 11/20/2014

SO glad to see some fan-prose dedicated to these boards. My own character’s zee zong:

&quotThere’s a legend going round – far underground!
'bout a secret to the Master’s trade.
Many bold zee-captains been seeking it now
And the admiralty’s on a tirade

Now there’s something stirring – in the Western Zee!
There’s a breath of change passing by
'Cause Southsea Rutherby’s listening in
And the tales of his exploits don’t lie

Will he give up? No he won’t!
Cause Southsea Rutherby’s gonna solve the mystery!
So he’s setting out – with a rowdy crew!
They’re gonna zail the Sunless Sea.

&quotHe’s been at it for a time – drinking mushroom wine!
He’s a veteran of '69.
Now he’s got himself in a south-sea steamer
And he’s got himself in a quite a big bind!

He’s been at for years – fighting nightmare fears!
And a thousand women and men
And every manner of Sunless horrors
From hell to Fallen London

Will he give up? No he won’t!
'Cause Southsea Rutherby’s gonna see the daylight shine
And he’ll make out fine – running Mushroom wine!
From Wolfstack to Polythreme

Will he give up? No he won’t!
'Cause Southsea Rutherby’s got himself a luxury
It’s called adventure in a south-sea venture
When you go out to the Sunless Zee.&quot

[li]
edited by SouthSea Rutherby on 10/24/2014[/li][li]
edited by SouthSea Rutherby on 10/24/2014

Cool! Its like an awesome sea shanty from the age of ironclads…only a mile underground in a Cthuloid Underworld

I have modified the poem slightly since my OP…perhaps what follows is an improvement?

Only you can truly tell…if not, then oh, well…

The Sunless Sea
by Talon

&quotThe Sunless Sea has drawn us to the Neath
where the Madness and Fear are freely bequeathed
weaving their ancient siren songs sweetly into our leadened sleep
as shadows stalk us across the fathomless deep.&quot

&quotCast our feeble ray of light…
upon the trackless expanse of the Unterzee’s inky twilight.
Watch as we fritter about like tiny fireflies…
sailing around the outer reaches of an alien world…
whose placid eldritch waters wash over us like an unholy funeral shroud.
Know Death as a kindness oft sought but seldom truly found…
over the span of this unearthly mile beneath the ground.&quot

&quotThis we know…This we pray.&quot

&quotA day at Zee is a gift warmly bestowed by the flickering actinic glow from our tiny little gas-lit array…used to guard against the unseeing eyes of the alien gods in the sea beneath our cargo bay.&quot

&quotA night at Zee is a curse fouled by the fetid breath that blows softly across the eternal eldritch twilight by the hour…like a poisonous wind bearing seeds of madness and terror that take root and flower…as our sanity softly crumbles and our minds slowly devoured.&quot

&quotThus we who have sailed this way before…
humbly ask that you live your life ashore…
clinging to the tiny rocks awash in a kindly if ignorant bliss…
lest you discover that some secrets are far better left undisturbed upon
this…Sunless Sea.&quot
edited by Dread Lord on 10/29/2014

Its rhyming is forced, as all rhyming is.

Personally, I think both versions have their merits. Kudos to the OP.