Headlines from the Most Singular Magazine

Fallen London
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Update (07/2019) – See latest post. Currently writing headlines for players!

Miss Taranlei’s Most Singular Magazine: featuring tall tales and adventures of the MOST exceptional individuals in marvellous London!
Est. 1896, operating out of Doubt Street.

The Jaunty Mystic, owner and senior editor, casts the horoscopes and does all feature interviews with notable persons around London. No person is excluded from this interview opportunity! --Except Seekers. The Mystic refuses to discourse with anyone who exhibits even a hint of unaccountable peckishness. Rumour hints to a personal tragedy…

The rest of the copy is written by friends and cats. The Corresponding Ocelot is ever reliable, although do take care while reading some of its articles, lest your eyes start bleeding. The florid poetry you see here? all the handiwork of the Blemmigan Tourist. The Submerged Rector alternates between tall tales, sermons (thankfully short ones), and rather baffling interpretations of Drownie songs. The Revolutionary Firebrand writes erudite and even-keeled reviews of theatre and concerts… if he submits them on time. And every so often, the Magazine is graced by a bombastic screed from a Princeling of the Wakeful Court. (The tasteful word is that the Princeling is a dreadfully, erm, unreliable narrator.) On the more prosaic side, the printers are supplied by the Jaunty Mystic’s Docker comrades and kept in working order by Rattus Faber friends.

Though young, the Most Singular Magazine is building a reputation for presenting entirely true tales at their most surprising and outlandish. Truth is, after all, stranger than fiction. Especially in marvellous London.

Doubt Street has become my favourite location in London. I’m having fun &quotinterviewing&quot my acquaintance list and writing headlines featuring them in my Newspaper!

I’m happy to write headlines for anyone, so if you’d like to be featured in my Newspaper, send Taranlei an in-game message of any sort. Include a brief description of yourself in the FL style – eg. Taranlei is the Jaunty Mystic – and what you’re currently doing in London. I’ll reply you with the headline, and post it here! (And if you’re a Seeker… write in anyway! We’ll figure something out.)

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SOME HEADLINES FROM THE MOST SINGULAR MAGAZINE:

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London’s Outstanding Citizen hunts sinister Wildlife and maintains a brisk Social Calendar with Poise and Grace! We interview this gentleman of inescapable and midnight reputation on duelling winged menaces on rooftops without ruining the starch in his suit or being unfashionably late to soirees!

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Have you wondered how London’s own Miss O____ has achieved such Graceful Notoriety in our Marvellous City? Wonder no more! We interview this sagacious and midnight lady on how to prepare magnificent salons in the heights of the Bazaar. Read on to learn how she Makes a Name with nothing more than her wits and a poison-tipped umbrella. And discover the astonishing tale behind that (yes, that) incident in Veilgarden.

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The Thesuan Collector declares: “Here in the Neath, we can change into something glorious!” We interview this compelling individual about their theories of Neathy mysteries, and peer at their collection of mysterious, odd and simply bizarre artefacts. Discover how this gentleperson is transforming the self organ by organ, and consider how you too may seize this opportunity to remake yourself in marvellous London!

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Enigmatic Scholar reveals tantalizing glimpses of the Court across the Zee! London’s own Paramount Presence zails forth and stands as an equal amongst tigers! We are honoured to interview Professor H______ on the eve of his zee-voyage to the Carnelian Coast. Who is this august Banded Prince? What be this Court of the Wakeful Eye that claims itself the equal of our Esteemed Majesty? Read on, and be proud that London has such an upstanding citizen representing us across the Neathy waves!

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London Citizen stops at nothing to delve the Mysteries of the Neath! We catch up with this sagacious and irresistible scholar in between gallivants around the Flit. Discover how they interpret the wild words blowing around the chimneys, lift secrets from unattended windows and hats from oblivious passers-by. Learn how you too can artfully avoid tinnitus, flocks of interfering bats, untimely falls from heights, and assassination – all without losing purse, coat and shirt to urchins!
This interview manages, quite incredibly, to describe this citizen’s discoveries and escapades without divulging anything of real significance.

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In the next edition of the Most Singular Magazine, you see a small filler article with the headline:
Hero of Ladybones Road Caught Screaming at Random Passersby about ‘The Name’. Has the man who cracked the Jack of Smiles Case finally gone mad?
The article goes on to laud the many past accomplishments of one Citizen McM_____, but reserves comment about his current intentions or his state of being.

(CREDIT: Headline was written by the player - thanks!)

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I love these! And possibly resemble one of them.

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SOME MORE HEADLINES FROM THE MOST SINGULAR MAGAZINE:

(Credit - Many thanks to these players for providing excellent roleplay to collaborate with. Where possible I’ve incorporated some of their text into these headlines.)

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Sumptuous stories of Far-off Lands! Mystic memoirs of Realms behind Mirrors! Parabola, Vienna, Aestival: surely mere rumour and myth? The Sun-kissed Dreamer says: Nay, these are real places. Has this inescapable and compelling lady truly walked those lands? Read on and discover for yourself! (And please remember, dear Reader, that the Most Singular Magazine publishes truth – MOST surprising and outlandish, but truth nonetheless.)

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Stranger in a Strange Land: Exuberant Foreigner to complete largest yet Expedition into the Forgotten Quarter! This magnificent and sagacious gentleman graciously pauses from directing a frenetic archaeological dig to speak with us. What an exotic accent he possesses, what delightful enthusiasm he embodies! Positively infectious, even if we strain to comprehend his speech. Did he really say that this district reminds him of home?

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A later edition of the Magazine features this follow up…

Exuberant Foreigner to publish first hand Account of the Mysteries of the Forgotten Quarter! - (Title unpronounceable.) We continue our interview of this magnificent foreign gentleman, this time surrounded by the comforts of his Handsome Townhouse. We chat about the monograph he is now writing, and marvel at the curiously inscribed stones, grotesque skulls, and hair-curling enigmas unearthed by his expedition. And the Magazine is pleased to reveal an exclusive first glimpse of the title and several sketches from this MOST Erudite Monograph!
(Editor’s Note: The title has been approved by a rather bemused representative of the Ministry of Public Decency. The Magazine takes no responsibility for any spontaneous combustion, unanticipated amnesia, or screaming nightmares that may arise from viewing the sketches herein.)

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Revealed: The astonishing Mind behind our favourite chilling Tales of Wonder and Oddity! Playwright prognosticates a bizarre Future for London. (–And shares delightful anecdotes from his recent Wedding to the lovely N____.) We interview this Cranky, Bespectacled Writer in his Premises at the Bazaar on the secret inspirations behind his popular plays. Is it true that he once went undercover as a Crooked-Cross in the name of verisimilitude? Does the sap from his prizewinning cryptobotanical specimen really give him prophetic visions of the future? Read on to discover the surprising truth!

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Film-maker brings Neathy Enlightenment through Moving Pictures! Documentaries to &quotspeak Volumes of Truth&quot to people of the Present and Future! The Most Singular Magazine reports on an exclusive screening of moving pictures in the House of Chimes, presented by the trail-blazing film-maker Mr. J___s S_______. We interview him about memorializing life in London through these pictures called &quotDocumentaries&quot. How could revealing scandalous truths of Spite’s Rubbery tenements possibly enlighten skeptics on the Surface about our marvellous city? Discover this sagacious gentleman’s grand mission for his documentaries – and the startling location of his next film!

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Gentleman of Errantry wishes London a Happy Neathmas, and 'ware all sinister knocks on your doors! We take a break from chasing grand exploits around London to enjoy a leisurely conversation with Mr. H.G. R________, on sabbatical in his snug Znail-Zhell home. This Paramount Individual intends to rest on his laurels for once and enjoy a good, old-fashioned Sackmas. Savour the regalings of fame, fortune, and redemption from his days on the Zee and beyond the mirrors (from the comforts of festive London), and consider sage advice on how to survive the Crimson Beast of Winter when it comes demanding its due!

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Can’t roleplay a Newspaper without featuring my alts…

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Blood in the streets, the clash of steel and report of gunfire! Nay, not another Docker strike: the Fourth Tournament of the Sanguine Ribbon Society is in brutal, delightful progress!

The Most Singular Magazine catches up with its very own senior editor and owner, after a fierce clash upon Wolfstack Docks. “Final duel and that makes fifteen!” says the Jaunty Mystic, proudly sporting a fistful of sanguine ribbons upon equally blood-stained clothes. “The clergy were out in surprising force. I have duelled a bishop, an archbishop, and a saint, as well as a red-eyed gentleman, some ordinary guy, and other worthy persons of importance. Tragically, the chiropteromantic readings didn’t favour me in the tournament. I was murdering fellow persons of the cloth, I suppose. But ah, most invigorating! Make no mistake: I’m competing in the next Society tournament!”

Accompanying this article is a daguerrotype of the Jaunty Mystic standing rakishly with a foot propped upon a bollard, ratwork derringer in one hand, kneecapping stick in the other, and surrounded by… a squad of Rattus Faber? Either those rats were indeed hidden in the shadows, or someone had very conscientiously effaced all their details from the picture, leaving only nondescript, rat-sized silhouettes.

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In the latest edition of the Most Singular Magazine, you read this tiny obituary on the back pages…

V________.
The Shifty Spectre, Licentiate.
Descended to the Neath: Summer, 1889.
Departed to the NORTH: Neathmas, 1896.

“I have gone down, down, my love. Down, my love, to the well. To weep and grieve and remember and burn. Light a candle and forget me. O, my love! fare well."

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SOME MORE HEADLINES FROM THE MOST SINGULAR MAGAZINE:

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Dreaming Occultist demonstrates that lack of Soul is no hindrance to Endeavours creative and scholarly! This time we descend into the Brass Embassy to meet this irresistible Correspondent at his Sanctum, and discuss how to write a ballet that both humans and tigers can appreciate. Does soullessness enhance or diminish the Muse? Can lack of soul protect one from the hazards of studying ______________ sigils? The Most Singular Magazine reserves comment, but invites you to read the Dreaming Occultist’s claims and draw your conclusions!

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London Citizen stands up for the Cause of the downtrodden and implores us to be sympathetic about Ratly Concerns! The Cheerful Chimney Sweep pauses in clearing roofs of glim-fall and lacre to voice his passionate support for orphans and Rattus Faber. No matter how grubby, dispossessed, or disgraced, all persons have dignity and value: after all, are we not equals under the Masters? He concludes with a discussion on the most humane, rat-friendly ways of keeping your lodgings vermin-free. (Rule #1: Actually engage the rats in conversation. Rule #2: Never call them ‘L.B.s’, ever.)

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Scholar critiques the Sacksmas season, departs for the Iron Republic in protest! This midnight and sagacious gentleman graciously pauses in between zee-voyage preparations to speak with us on his Majestic Pleasure Yacht. We discuss his feats of derringdo at the Fourth Tournament of the Sanguine Ribbon Society (and tricks to avoid a journey to a slow boat on the silent river), and hear his compelling reasons for spending this season away from London. Is the Crimson Beast of Winter just a ploy by the Masters to keep our marvellous city under their clawed thumbs? What kind of Neathmas is he looking forward to, in the liberated atmosphere of the Iron Republic? We conclude with an exclusive word with the gentleman’s entourage of cats on the debauched luxuries they look forward to at zee.

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ANOTHER HEADLINE FROM THE MOST SINGULAR MAGAZINE:

Facing the New Year with old Regrets? Ridden with Guilt you can’t wash away? Despair not: the Revelatory Midnighter will free you from your Sins! This fine gentleman emerges from the depths of the University to make you a generous offer: confess your appalling secrets to him, dear Reader, and he guarantees you will walk forth a new slate with all forgiven and forgotten! And what will the good Canon do with all these journals of infamy? How does one exactly “shred” or “knap” such knowledge? Read on for the astonishing revelation!

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(Not actively grinding my Newspaper rank right now, but I’m still happy to write headlines - even for people who already have one from me.)

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Oooh, a new issue. Two, please. My weasels read it too.

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A little bump to say that the Jaunty Mystic is currently at the Editor’s desk and happy to write a headline for anyone. PM me in-game (I’m more likely to see it there) or through the forums.

A special welcome to contestants in the Fifth Tournament of the Sanguine Ribbon Society – the Most Singular Magazine would be overjoyed to feature tales of your derringdo and exploits during the Tournament!

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Headlines from the Most Singular Magazine: FIFTH TOURNAMENT EDITION

An Advisory, dear Reader! A gentle reminder to readers that this Tournament edition of the Most Singular Magazine is strictly focused on tales and adventures. Discussions of combat tactics in the interviews were not redacted (to preserve factual integrity), instead were translated into C________ by the Deputy Editor, the Corresponding Ocelot. In the interest of preserving the good health, mental wellbeing and continuing subscriptions of Dear Readers, the Magazine strongly discourages any attempt to read those translations.

FEATURE STORIES:

The Snow-White Widow makes a fierce debut in the Fifth Tournament! Tread lightly lest you end up on that blacklist! The Magazine catches up with this enigmatic and midnight individual during a quiet spell between bouts. How is the Widow holding their own in lethal fights despite being all-thumbs with weapons? How are they faring with a combat strategy of bare fists, a Hound of Heaven, and a list writ in gant? Read about their exploits in their debut Tournament – including a blow-by-blow account of their duel against the Magazine’s own senior Editor, the Jaunty Mystic!

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Returning contestant battles to the top of the Fifth Tournament ladder! Can they hold on to their lead? We chat with this inescapabale, lethal individual after a ferocious duel in front of the Medusa’s Head tavern. Alas, it was a defeat – but not enough to stop the Saint from topping the Tournament ranking. Is their aggressive, ambushing tactic the key to this peerless showing? Will their dreams of chess-games thwart fellow contestants’ attempts to overturn their high score? While we await final Tournament results, read this exciting account of the Saint’s fourteen official duels, including a memorable skirmish within the Cathedral of St. Fiacre’s!

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“I fight in the name and honour of my patron!” Humility, courage and good manners: indeed the essence of a gentleman-duellist! So says Doctor S------ to the Magazine’s own Senior Editor while shaking hands after their bracing Fifth Tournament bout. Read on to discover the good Doctor’s surprisingly benevolent philosophy of combat. How does sending a foe to the Boatman turn them into a friend? Can a duel to the death strengthen the bonds of friendship in Neathy life? The Jaunty Mystic, who conducted this interview, certainly thinks so! Be proud, dear reader, that marvellous London is graced with such sterling citizens!

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As Above, So Below: Daring Irish scion wields her venerable family sword in the Fifth Tournament! The Most Singular Magazine catches up with this lethal and breathtaking Lady in Red to learn about her family heirloom’s storied Surface pedigree. We discuss its current bearer’s exploits during the Tournament, and her many chess games with the Boatman – including some new swordfighting techniques developed from the chequered board. How marvellous, dear readers, that Surface tradition continues in the Neath! What amazing martial innovations can be conceived when Death is of little consequence! And how has the Lady in Red applied the same innovations to her Correspondence symphonies and curious beast breeding endeavours? Read on to find out!