The Language of Laces is quite a funny item, First the Description is quite funny “it is literally a fashion statement”, and when you get it, the text is
The Cobbler has the box ready on the counter, wrapped in a radical newspaper and tied with excess shoe string. “See how they are,” she says, pushing the box to you.
They are a fine fit. A bit tight around the ankle perhaps, but nothing you can’t get used to. “I’ve circled a few of the articles on the wrapping. They’ll tell you how to set your laces to communicate. They’re easy enough to switch, just - tauter! You must keep them - yes, there you… ah!” She blushes. “I think you meant to move them one down; your current signal is of, ah, carnal interest.”