Fallen Swindon

[color=#009900]For those of you who missed it. The man is protected by parody fair use, and by the fact that he made us snurk.[/color]


This is quite brilliant. Well made and well written.
I especially liked this &quotlore&quot snippet I’ve found on the side bar:

[quote]And what, Mr Eaten, asked the Impertinent Man, is your bloody name?
Hmm? Oh. Gerald, replied the Master of the Bazaar. Dont know what all the fuss was about, honestly.[/quote]

He won me immediately at: “It’s… oh, it’s you. Well, isn’t that a thing? (Seek psychiatric help if this isn’t you.)” I still laugh whenever I think of that.

[quote=Ridiculus Undarke]He won me immediately at: &quotIt’s… oh, it’s you. Well, isn’t that a thing? (Seek psychiatric help if this isn’t you.)&quot I still laugh whenever I think of that.[/quote]Not to mention this sidebar: &quotThe only real difference between invisible giant bees and imaginary giant bees is your perception. Please keep this in mind the next time you don’t see one.&quot Brilliant. Quite brilliant.

" Small group of Artistic Devils seek willing human subject for life drawing classes’. That could work, if you can stomach the nerves of… wait, hang on, that’s only the first part of a two part class. The second half is far less whimsical.

Employability is falling… Now 16!"

  • that reminds me of the time i thought of signing up for clinical trials, and get various toxins injected under my skin.

I still wonder what that second part is. Death drawing classes? Drawing of eviscerated humans? Details of their various organs? Or something different… drawing of an abstraction? Drawing of a soulless human?

[i][spoiler]&quot…you find yourself waking up in a pool of even staler beer than normal, with a storming headache and a sense of unearned patriotism that is already starting to fade. On the back of your hand is written either the Pneumatic Barmaid or the Crepuscular Publican’s phone number. You’re not sure which you tried to seduce, but it would be seriously awkward if you got it wrong.

You now have £2.

An occurrence! Your ‘Hangover’ Quality is now 10.

Britishness is increasing… Now 57!&quot
Lordie save thy queen! or something!!

[i]edited by rebelanarch-82 on 7/12/2014

&quotOh no, your refreshing beverage needs refreshing! Actions refresh in: [color=#C8170E]59 years[/color]. Hope you brought cards!&quot[/i]

i feel cheated, abused, bamboozleled! i want a refund for my false hope.
edited by rebelanarch-82 on 7/12/2014

Favourite from the sidebar: &quotIs Swindon the Fifth City or the Sixth City? Neither. Swindon is a town.&quot

I want to shop at a Tesco Bazaar. I bet I won’t find tasty sonar-stunned insects any cheaper.

I suspect that the first class would be a ‘life drawing class’ and the second class would be a ‘soul drawing class’ - a nice little play on words.

There are a few secrets available to discover as well. Very enjoyable.

http://www.richardcobbett.com/codex/therichardperspective/fallen-swindon/ (see comments for clues)

Sighhh I live in Swindon as well o.O haha

The Tesco Bazaar thing cracked me up. I’m not English but we have Tescos in Malaysia too.

Here’s a potential one. ‘Tome Reader wanted for the Tomb Colonies. Definitely no dyslexics. Not again. Never again.’ Hmm. No, Venderbight is a killer commute.