The Ministry for Public Safety has announced that from February onward, private dueling and games of chess will be banned within the London municipal area. The news has come as a shock for London’s many brawlers, intellectuals and intellectual brawlers.
“We understand this decision won’t be a popular one” said Captain Roughshod, police liaison. “But something had to be done. Too many people were getting trapped in chess games. Getting them out takes hours, which doesn’t include all the time we spend figuring out how they managed it in the first place. Frankly, it was taking up too much police resources"
When questioned in relation to the dueling ban, the Captain was less apologetic. “We’ve had too many situations where a fight to the death is scheduled and some coward doesn’t turn up. It’s downright indecent and time the whole sordid practice was ended. Naturally the ban won’t apply to the Black Ribbons. They have standards, unlike some other folk”.
The press release came to a premature end when a Constable ran up and quietly muttered that Lord Hawthy was stuck in a Danish Gambit. “He better enjoy it while it lasts” grumbled Roughshod as he stormed away. “He’ll be playing checkers on Monday”.