A Motley Crew (Fan-Made Ship's Officers thread)

I don’t know if there’s already a thread for fan-made content, specific to officers or not, but here’s an offering:

First Officer

The Gentleman Scientist +4 Pages, +5 Mirrors

Despite his learned airs and insistence on scrutinising every ripple for information as a first officer he displays a ruthlessly pragmatic streak. He has the heart of a great explorer and you hope one of these days he’ll stop keeping the damn thing in a jar on his desk.

The Dapper Illusionist +4 Viels, +4 Pages, +4 Mirrors, -2 Hearts, -2 Irons

He certainly has a way with the crew, even if they all murmur about how the shadow he casts in the light of the glim-lamp seems eager to reach out and snuff the light. Even though he’s often in bed (”For the sake of my heart” he says) you swear he gets the work of three men done in the time of one.

The Ardent Corsair +3 Mirrors, +6 Iron

Beard, hat, two wooden legs. This old salt may as well have walked from some rollicking age of sail adventure novel. He’s remarkably adept at whipping the crew into shape and sniffing out treasures of the Underzee, so you’ll abide his eccentricities. Hopefully there’s not an obnoxious parrot in your shared future.


The Sleepless Scholar +3 Hearts, +6 Pages

She brought aboard her favoured writing desk along with a stack of books easily five times the weight of a man. Her bedside manner takes second string to her impressive knowledge which is a welcome break from zee-surgeons who don’t know their hallux from their glabella.

The Muted Medic +5 Hearts, +4 Veils

When you check in on this fellow he’s constructing a remarkable scale model of a deck-swab’s mouth from rubber balloons. Through the medium of gesture he indicates the deleterious effects of scurvy on the gums and recommends a cup of lime juice each evening. Despite his methods, the crew trusts his able hands.

Chief Engineer

The Incandescent Firewoman +300 Engine Power, -10% Engine Efficiency +4 Iron, +3 Hearts

If it were possible to burn down an engine you’d have found out by now. Since this woman came aboard the engines have run hotter than hell itself. Despite the searing heat and straining steam values she tends the furnace with unflagging energy and unparalleled focus.

The Pitiless Automaton +5% Engine Efficiency +4 Mirrors, +4 Iron

You’re not sure why someone would build a human-like being from living clockwork when perfectly good clay men already exist. You can’t deny the improvements his living components have made, even if the thought of an engine that can think keeps you up at night.


The Mighty Artilierist +3 Hearts, +6 Iron

Larger than life doesn’t cover it. Unbeaten in arm-wrestling, boastful and with an appetite for food that eclipses his appetite for destruction. He can lift shells that strain the dockhands’ backs with one arm. You make a note to never accept a handshake from him.

The Thunderous Raider +4 Pages, +6 Iron, -1 Veils

From her expansive vocabulary of violence, inspiring poise and dramatic battle-cries, you wonder if this gunner has a background in the theatre. You suppose even actresses must have days where they want to hoist the black flag and explode their troubles with heavy ordinance.

The Irresponsible Cannoneer +2 Hearts, +3 Veils, +4 Iron

A relaxed attitude and slow to panic are valuable traits in anyone who handles explosives for a living, though a tendency to take a nap behind the gunpowder store is somewhat less desirable. Even so she’s somehow managed to talk her discipline down from cleaning the head to half dessert every time.


The Hungry Funger +4 Hearts, +2 Veils, +3 Iron

You’ll excuse using a wood-ax for a cleaver since this hirsute fellow certainly knows his Bolegus-frond from his bologna. You’ve suggested throwing the woody trunks into the zee or using them for furnace kindling but he insists on taking it back to his room at night. Where on Earth is he keeping it all?

The Travelling Culinarian +6 Hearts, +2 Mirrors, +1 Pages

You’ve gotten so used to meeting and working alongside colourful characters it’s almost a disappointment to meet a relatively normal person with a passion for their art and skills to suit. You’ve seen him take noisome zee-beast guts and turn them into something that has the crew asking for seconds.


The Grieving Twin +1 Hearts, +1 Veils, +2 Mirrors

In the pitch black of the underworld with unknown horrors all around, it’s something of a comfort to have someone so young face the deadly and horrible with such equanimity. Her incisive barbs and bleak humour take some getting used to though.

The Abominable Spider-Lad +2 Hearts, +2 Veils

You would sleep more soundly if you didn’t know sorrow spiders could grow so big. This one apparently had an appetite that exceeded it’s abilities and has become the second skin to a boy as irrepressible as he is indigestible. For a terrible outcast from polite society he’s a companionable cabin-boy.

The Regal Primate +4 Hearts

Fortunately he seems to be a surface-ape, the kind that’s hungry for bananas instead of souls. Even so he’s managed to keep that jacket and crown the crew furnished him with in great condition and sometimes the deck-swabs joke about making him captain when they think you’re not in earshot.
edited by Cliomancer on 8/13/2016

There is a thread for player-made items, but it’s more FL and less SS.

At least I get to turn all my characters into short text.

The Deranged Solicitor (Chief Engineer)
+6 Pages +4 Veils -3 Mirrors
No, they are not an engineer. The mirrors are purely for personal use.

The Circumspect Bachelor (Gunnery Officer)
+9 Iron +3 Pages -3 Veils
This academe managed to make zailors miss the disturbing silence of the Unterzee with her voice and only her voice.

The Hoodwinking Chiropteromant (First Officer)
+6 Veils +6 Mirrors -2 Hearts -2 Iron
Neither the crew nor the ship likes him. He doesn’t mind. He is here to zee the zee-bats.

Young Lady Charlotte (Cook)
+5 Veils +3 Hearts
She is a mediocre cook at best, and has kept her worst well-hidden.

The Gruff Roustabout[b] /b
+6 Iron +3 Hearts +1 A Doctor Aboard
He’s bandaged wounds. He’s occasionally dealt them. Occasionally with this ship’s cannon.

[b]A Meticulously Masterlocked Mirrorcatch Box /b
+2 Iron +2 Mirrors -2 Hearts
Pray that the sounds are just zee-waves and zee-beasts. Just zee-waves and zee-beasts…
edited by Vavakx Nonexus on 11/17/2016