A Love That Dares Not Remember Its Name

Fallen London
#1

&quotThat’s very nice, but stop changing the subject. What is Love?&quot

I respond with one of my best and most practised smiles, Scarlet Saint Special No. 7:

“Permit me to show you.”

She laughs:

“There’s always one, sometimes even more than one! And yet… you have a reputation.”

Indeed I do. It is not a nice reputation, but I have put a lot of brutal and violent work into it, and I’m used to hatred and terror that it provokes in people. The curiosity and desire in Millicent’s eyes, however, is something different. Something new. As the Lady in Lilac prepares to leap upon me with feline grace, two terrible realizations strike me like the twin hammers of Jasper and Frank. First, that I am in love with this woman, and second, that she can never be mine, for the violet web is coiled too tight around her heart and soul. I could handle one of these truths, but both together prove to be too much.

The deepest, darkest part of me, one that I have come to recognize as the core of my soul, flares to life for the third time ever. The first time it has done so, it raised me out of the hungry well and drove me to the fateful stormy rooftop to abandon my mad quest. The second time, it inspired me to drown my yoke of authority and pursue my true unspoken desire. And this time, as we begin to dance the horizontal waltz, it makes the world itself move, tilting it on its axis again and again and again.

With each caress and stolen kiss, a little more of the accursed violet light seeps into me. Like a doomed adventurer sucking venom out of a companion’s snakebite, I drain Nadir’s deadly essence from Millicent and into myself. She pays no heed, lost in throes of passion and calling out to Courier, but that’s all right, too. After all, I have been called the Fist of the Bazaar for years, and if I have to play the part of a different part tonight, then so be it.

At last, the moment comes when I can take no more. I feign collapse and listen carefully. While my hearing and other senses are not as sharp as they will be in the Night to come, the red honey and Red Science have worked enough changes already. I can hear rustling sounds as she restores her attire to perfect decorum, a metallic noise as she retrieves a hand mirror - and then a quiet gasp as she beholds her reflection:

&quotBlue. They’re blue. How can they be blue? Did yours change as well… oh no.&quot

The mirror tumbles onto the carpet as she rushes forward. Her fingers reach out to my face, touching smooth skin and the cold bone beneath. I smile and this time, there’s no practiced guile or charisma behind the smile, only naked truth:

&quotThis is my answer, the one I promised to show you. Above all, true love is blind&quot.

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#2

[quote=Passionario]&quotThat’s very nice, but stop changing the subject. What is Love?&quot

I respond with one of my best and most practised smiles, Scarlet Saint Special No. 7:

“Permit me to show you.”

She laughs:

“There’s always one, sometimes even more than one! And yet… you have a reputation.”

Indeed I do. It is not a nice reputation, but I have put a lot of brutal and violent work into it, and I’m used to hatred and terror that it provokes in people. The curiosity and desire in Millicent’s eyes, however, is something different. Something new. As the Lady in Lilac prepares to leap upon me with feline grace, two terrible realizations strike me like the twin hammers of Jasper and Frank. First, that I am in love with this woman, and second, that she can never be mine, for the violet web is coiled too tight around her heart and soul. I could handle one of these truths, but both together prove to be too much.

The deepest, darkest part of me, one that I have come to recognize as the core of my soul, flares to life for the third time ever. The first time it has done so, it raised me out of the hungry well and drove me to the fateful stormy rooftop to abandon my mad quest. The second time, it inspired me to drown my yoke of authority and pursue my true unspoken desire. And this time, as we begin to dance the horizontal waltz, it makes the world itself move, tilting it on its axis again and again and again.

With each caress and stolen kiss, a little more of the accursed violet light seeps into me. Like a doomed adventurer sucking venom out of a companion’s snakebite, I drain Nadir’s deadly essence from Millicent and into myself. She pays no heed, lost in throes of passion and calling out to Courier, but that’s all right, too. After all, I have been called the Fist of the Bazaar for years, and if I have to play the part of a different part tonight, then so be it.

At last, the moment comes when I can take no more. I feign collapse and listen carefully. While my hearing and other senses are not as sharp as they will be in the Night to come, the red honey and Red Science have worked enough changes already. I can hear rustling sounds as she restores her attire to perfect decorum, a metallic noise as she retrieves a hand mirror - and then a quiet gasp as she beholds her reflection:

&quotBlue. They’re blue. How can they be blue? Did yours change as well… oh no.&quot

The mirror tumbles onto the carpet as she rushes forward. Her fingers reach out to my face, touching smooth skin and the cold bone beneath. I smile and this time, there’s no practiced guile or charisma behind the smile, only naked truth:

&quotThis is my answer, the one I promised to show you. Above all, true love is blind&quot.

711×152 149 KB
[/quote]

Truly, Passionario, you lived up to your name in writing this piece. Bravo!

#3

I’m a bit terrified for you. How under the earth…

#4

How… is this possible? You broke the nadir! You broke yourself!
Are you the new Lilac?

#5

Wow, that was great! And somehow very unsettling.

I’m also very curious how you managed this unspeakable irrigo level.

#6

This is amazing. Thankyou for writing it…

#7

The next evening, I went to meet Millicent in the Forgotten Quarter.

&quotWhich one?&quot she asked quietly.

&quotLondon. As I know it.&quot

#8

WARNING: The following IRC log contains spoilers for Ambition: Nemesis, Seeking Mister Eaten’s Name, The Waltz That Moved the World and Passionario’s personal storyline. It does not end well.

<Passionario>: My god
<Passionario>: I want to weep and scream
<Passionario>: I finally figured out what the deal is really with Passionario, Lilac and irrigo, and how it all ends
<gazzien>: Oh?
<Passionario>: And it’s going to to be terrible
<MordaineBarimen>:
<Barselaar>: Ooooo interesting
<Passionario>: As in &quotlet’s go full NiteBrite&quot
<MordaineBarimen>: Go on…
<JimmyTMalice>: Is it even possible to go full NiteBrite?
<Barselaar>: Full NiteBrite, I like the sound
<gazzien>: ohdear, passionario
<VavakxNonexus>: You terrify me, Passionario.
<VavakxNonexus>: Even more than Estelle does.
<VavakxNonexus>: And that means SOMETHING.
<Barselaar>: I’m stuck between dying of cuteness and being very afraid of what Passionario is plotting
<Passionario>: All right.
<Passionario>: This is a story that started with a murder.
VavakxNonexus listens to Passionario.
<Passionario>: Passionario’s initial (and canon) Ambition was Nemesis.
<gazzien>: more like Ambition: Irrigo
<Passionario>: Specifically, ‘Tragedy: Death of a Daughter’
<Passionario>: This will be important later.
<MordaineBarimen>: oooooooooh
<Passionario>: Next, we have the Queen of Inks.
<Passionario>: The &quotirrighost&quot (thanks to SaraHysaro for the term) that Millicent left in the Nadir
<gazzien>: oh jeez
<gazzien>: this is going Sad Place
<gazzien>: *places
<MordaineBarimen>: Seeking never has a happy ending
<Passionario>: A part of her is missing, and the void was filled with irrigo. Hence the lilac eyes and weird powers.
<Passionario>: Fast forward to the last Feast
<JimmyTMalice>: I wonder what would happen if one actually tattooed Mr Eaten’s Name at the Feast of the Exceptional Rose
<JimmyTMalice>: I have a feeling it might be possible when the next one comes around
<VavakxNonexus>: I doubt it.
<JimmyTMalice>: you’d probably burn up a little though
<Passionario>: Wherein Passionario boinked Millicent until her eyes became blue again and his were gone altogether (hence Irrigo 77)
<VavakxNonexus>: Maybe it’ll give you some menaces, consume your yearly visit, and leave you completely tattoo-less.
<Passionario>: There’s one simple explanation for both effects
<MordaineBarimen>: due to lack of skin
<VavakxNonexus>: Because Millicent is disappoint.
<JimmyTMalice>: it’ll be like the Truthbreaker Turbine explosion
<JimmyTMalice>: but worse
<gazzien>: stole the irrigo right out of her
<Passionario>: Passionario’s own &quotirrighost&quot is now inside Millicent, where the Queen of Inks used to be.
<Passionario>: And his own self is full of irrigo, in turn.
<Passionario>: It’s possible, you know. Anyone with Obscurity 7 can carry the Queen of Inks inside them.
<Passionario>: Which brings us to the next point.
<Barselaar>: (any crooked-crosses wanna speak at a salon?)
<VavakxNonexus>: IT’S PASSIONARIO STORY TIME, Barselaar!
<Barselaar>: (I know and I’m enthralled, hence whispered parentheses)
<Passionario>: We’ll get to parentheses later
<Passionario>: They’re important
<VavakxNonexus>: (Oh, ok)
<Passionario>: So the next logical, if insane, step would be to bring both irrighosts together
<Passionario>: That would necessitate using Fleeting Recollections, losing 77 Irrigo, grinding SMEN all the way to E-Candle, getting Obscurity 7, and regrinding Irrigo 77 at the next Feast
<Alan>: nO
<Passionario>: That’s the &quotfull NiteBrite part&quot
<Passionario>: But wait, it gets worse
<Barselaar>: Passionario stahp
<Passionario>: The parentheses
<Passionario>: Where have we seen them in the Nadir?
<Passionario>: Woods in Winter
<Passionario>: The card where Queen of Inks is speaking to someone about the Game
<JimmyTMalice>: Is that the Queen of Inks talking then?
<Passionario>: And who could the person she’s talking to be?
<Passionario>: There was such a person in a certain EF story
<Passionario>: One wrapped deep in the Game, with a history of Vienna Woods in winter… and bereft of eyes
<Passionario>: One who has given much to Nadir
<Passionario>: I’m talking, of course, about the Waltzing Duke
<MordaineBarimen>: Yeah the details of teh ramifications of long irrigo exposure (beyond the eye thing) rewrites the details of the dance.
<Passionario>: The man who, in one of the storylines, at least, is killed by the daughter he left on the Surface
<Passionario>: And that brings us to the final twist of the knife
<Passionario>: Literally
<Passionario>: Gaining Obscurity 7 - enough to carry not-Lilac with you - requires giving up the Ambition
<Passionario>: Which mean that ‘Tragedy: Death of Daughter’ quality will also be gone
<Passionario>: So Passionario’s daughter that was left on the surface will be alive again, and free to descend to the Neath with a knife in her hand
<VavakxNonexus>: (Is anyone copying this down?)
<Passionario>: And for dramatic effect, she will find him at the second Feast during his second consummation with Millicent
<JimmyTMalice>: Are you saying that you’ll become the Waltzing Duke through some twist of fate?
<Passionario>: That is how it ends. I was the new Lilac and I will be the new Waltzing Duke.
<Passionario>: Everyone loses the Game sooner or later.
<Passionario>: Next Feast, it’s my turn.
<Passionario>: Until then, I have SMEN to grind.
<Passionario>: You’ve gained 1 x Dreadful Surmise

#9

Now, that’s great stuff.

#10

An ending worthy of the story’s beginning. I hope we’ll hear more of it come the Feast!

#11

You have seven candles, do you not? Approach Millicent about the name, and drown out Passionario’s story with your discovery ;)

#12

You have seven candles, do you not? Approach Millicent about the name, and drown out Passionario’s story with your discovery ;)[/quote]

That will be a different story, and Barselaar has other stories that have yet to be told. But none of them are so impressive or well thought out, and this is a thread for Passionario’s exploits!

#13

And now the IRC log bleeds of the Sun’s whitest ink. May we never witness it again.

[OOC: Marked answers are, as always, a pain to read.]

#14

Recent arc: Forget Me Not

TL;DR:

#15

&quotWhen you’re burned, you’ve got nothing: no cash, no credit, no job history. You’re stuck in whatever pit they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who’s still talking to you. Bottom line: As long as you’re burned, you’re not going anywhere. Except for NORTH.&quot

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edited by Passionario on 7/28/2016
edited by Passionario on 7/28/2016

#16

[quote=Passionario]&quotWhen you’re burned, you’ve got nothing: no cash, no credit, no job history. You’re stuck in whatever pit they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who’s still talking to you. Bottom line: As long as you’re burned, you’re not going anywhere. Except for NORTH.&quot

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edited by Passionario on 7/28/2016
edited by Passionario on 7/28/2016[/quote]
Ouch.

#17

pictures Passionario taking my order at McDonalds and giggles :P

#18

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Story to follow.

#19

Please tell me you’re giving poor Eli this story off :P

#20

Be careful - some of us Great Game players may be called in