To the press, Society and the public-at-large,

His Gracious Excellency, the Bishop and Ambassador Professor William Cosmos the !, Crspt., is a pleasant eccentric and one must ignore any rumours to the contrary he or anyone else may have begun.
Despite popular suggestion that visitors have been subjected to experiments or in any way ignited, he is welcoming to all peoples who may find interest in calling upon his famed hospitality. Appointments may be arranged via his highly competent and thoroughly conventional, albeit somewhat fungal, personal secretary.

Issued to the public by [REDACTED] on this day [REDACTED]
Approved by [REDACTED]

-I thought there was to be mention of my aggressive disinterest of that dammed bloody photographer! Reissue this notice at once!
WC!, June the 1st 19… 18… oh dashed whenever.