Corentin Os
Posts: 109
8/16/2012
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One more typo/misspelling: In the battle for Ketai 'Triage' card, if you succeed, it reads "... you recognise those effects, the pale palour, the cold sweats..." I'm assuming you mean 'pallor'? And while it's niggling and not a typo, I would be inclined to replace 'effects' with 'symptoms'. 
City of Phire is a good, solid work so far; I very much enjoyed it, even though I lost the battle. :/
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Always delighted to make the acquaintance of delicious friends!
Profile here - battles of flora (strength), interviews (LF), gently rustling parcels etc. etc. welcome
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Lily Fox
Posts: 346
8/16/2012
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Thanks, Corentin. Spelling fixed. 'Pallor' looks weird but that's English for you.
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@LilyLayer4
Fallen London character: Lilith B.
Author of Maelstrom - Play - Discuss
Author of City of Phire - Play - Discuss
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Catherine Raymond
Posts: 2518
8/17/2012
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Lily Fox wrote:
Here is my first StoryNexus creation for your examination. I would be very welcome for any thoughts, impressions, questions, recommendations you may have.
>> Play City of Phire by clicking this link. <<
At this time there a couple of features missing, such as one Nex-limited branch and high-menace events (eg death and other colourful consequences)
I have also considered including some explanatory scenes with major NPCs giving the basics of the world, but that may be a bad idea and wisely omitted. Do you agree?
I don't think you need an explanatory scene beyond what's already there; better to let the players discover the world through trying to advance in it.
I played through to the end several days ago and restarted tonight with a new character, Ceil. So far, it's greatly improved. All I've noticed is a few broken icons (for example, after you play your first "welcome" card the "occurrence" icon was broken, as in the icon in your Qualities list for the "Stranger" quality).
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Cathy Raymond
http://fallenlondon.com/Profile/cathyr19355
Catherine Raymond aka Mrs. Rykar Malkus http://fallenlondon.com/Profile/Catherine%20Raymond (Gone NORTH)
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Ivan Popov
Posts: 8
8/17/2012
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This was my first play-through, and I have to say it leaves an impression for the world that truly is what the description said: dark and hopeless, with much to be learned. However, when I was presented with the choice of killing Martha and declined (I don't know if I'm able to even test the other choices), I expected the next thing to be either death, or waking up in a pile of corpses, the sole survivor of the massacre. Maybe you have meant this to be a dead branch, I don't know. Either way, it was the thing that broke the feeling from the game a bit. I will certainly replay it, with more preparation, or with preparation in other qualities.
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Respect all...
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Katherine Cunningham
Posts: 44
8/18/2012
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I have just started playing, and I notice the lttle box that says question. I have noticed it in other people's games as well, I assume it is something to be filled in later?
I am amazed by how many details, different paths and stats, you were able to put into this story. I am fascinated already, and waiting for my actions to refresh. Clearly you are more creative than I.
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Lily Fox
Posts: 346
8/18/2012
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Thanks for your feedback Catherine, IvPopov and Katherine.
Katherine - I can't find what you are talking about. I have a hunch it is related to a card image that isn't showing yet. Could you possibly reply with what browser you are using and a screenshot of the 'question'?
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@LilyLayer4
Fallen London character: Lilith B.
Author of Maelstrom - Play - Discuss
Author of City of Phire - Play - Discuss
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Katherine Cunningham
Posts: 44
8/18/2012
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I am currently using Firefox, and I have actually seen it show up once in your game, I think it was immediately after I selected Feminine.
Edit: It just popped up again, I am on a work computer so I can't do a screenshot, but I will copy/paste what I am seeing:
Play fair
"Two tips gets you in. Win, you get the pot." Not the greatest odds but why not?
'Hmph. Beginner's luck.'
The dice go your way. Ignore the sour faces as you collect your winnings/
You were fortunate!
You've gained 6 x Iron Tip (new total 10).
Where it says "You were fortunate" there was a little box that said cardfan this time, but on previous choices on StoryNexus I have seen it say question.
edited by Katbeth86 on 8/18/2012
edited by Katbeth86 on 8/18/2012
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+1
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Lily Fox
Posts: 346
8/18/2012
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Ah, thanks a lot. =)
Yeah, that's out of my control but I'll pass it along to FBG.
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@LilyLayer4
Fallen London character: Lilith B.
Author of Maelstrom - Play - Discuss
Author of City of Phire - Play - Discuss
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Chrysoula
Posts: 40
8/19/2012
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Hey there. I just finished going through City of Phire. A couple of comments, mostly on the story presentation.
--I was kind of disappointed not to be in the City of Phire. This leads into...
--I felt unmotivated to stay in this little town, knowing there was some awesome crumbling city somewhere. It felt like the beginning of Fallout: New Vegas, except I couldn't leave, which leads into...
--It felt grindy. Very, very grindy. The lack of motivation was probably part of this.
The setting seems to have potential but I was a bit puzzled why an unskilled stranger was leading a town to victory over raiders. I felt it could have used more narrative, somehow? Maybe more opportunity cards?
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Imrazor
Posts: 29
8/31/2012
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i'm intrigued, an enjoyable experience. Though i'm not sure where i missed a few "prologue"s so all the end options were not unlocked. (not saying it's broken or anything)
oh yeah i think that fame and infamy would go well in one stat (not sure how it functions but you get what i'm getting at) or maybe, to put it differently, they should be mutually exclusive. i found it strange to have fame x and at the same time infamy y..
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For K&C, Lilie-fights, boxed cats and other such social things do include this magnificent gentleman.
http://fallenlondon.storynexus.com/Profile/Imrazor
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Passionario
Posts: 777
8/31/2012
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What is a "scabre"?
edited by Passionario on 8/31/2012
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Passionario: Profile, Story, Ending
Passion: Profile, Appearance
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Lily Fox
Posts: 346
8/31/2012
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AlkorDumahimZodd - You didn't miss picking up Prologue points, not as such. At the end different Prologue values are assigned dependant upon your success or failure in the battle and your immediate choice afterwards. The alternative rewards are visible to give a hint at what might have happened. =)
Also, thanks for your feedback regarding reputation. It is an unusual design choice, I grant you, but I think it's important to represent a more nuanced opinion of you by each community.
Passionario - You know, I always thought that was how 'sabre' was spelled and never thought to check. Maybe I saw it written like that somewhere. No matter, sorted now. Thank you.
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@LilyLayer4
Fallen London character: Lilith B.
Author of Maelstrom - Play - Discuss
Author of City of Phire - Play - Discuss
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SmyJohn
Posts: 42
9/1/2012
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@ Kathrine Cunningham
"Where it says "You were fortunate" there was a little box that said cardfan this time, but on previous choices on StoryNexus I have seen it say question."
I assume this is just because SN has very few images available at the moment. "Cardfan" would presumably be the placeholder name for something like the icon Echo Bazaar uses for luck-based results (a hand fanning out some cards).
So it's nothing to do with Lily's work in particular, and will presumably be sorted out automatically when that image gets made and uploaded.
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Katherine Cunningham
Posts: 44
9/6/2012
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SmyJohn wrote:
@ Kathrine Cunningham
"Where it says "You were fortunate" there was a little box that said cardfan this time, but on previous choices on StoryNexus I have seen it say question."
I assume this is just because SN has very few images available at the moment. "Cardfan" would presumably be the placeholder name for something like the icon Echo Bazaar uses for luck-based results (a hand fanning out some cards).
So it's nothing to do with Lily's work in particular, and will presumably be sorted out automatically when that image gets made and uploaded.
That was my basic estimation from a few different Story Nexus games I had played through, but I wanted to point it out just in case ^__^
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Lily Fox
Posts: 346
9/20/2012
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Some final polish, adding features that have recently been made available by FBG, will be added in the coming days. Feedback is still appreciated and will be rewarded  .
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@LilyLayer4
Fallen London character: Lilith B.
Author of Maelstrom - Play - Discuss
Author of City of Phire - Play - Discuss
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leokhorn
Posts: 33
9/21/2012
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Hey there! What are your future plans for this world? I assume it's still focusing on the introduction chapter for now?
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Lily Fox
Posts: 346
9/21/2012
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Yes, it's not practical to expand the game-area immediately but I do plan on CoP continuing after the World of the Season competition. (I will be working on it in the mean time, of course.)
City of Phire is, at its heart, an open-world setting. There are a great many places, people and mysteries in the Raelian desert and it would be a shame not to see any more.
That all having been said, you may have noticed I have two big StoryNexus worlds in development - this and Maelstrom. Which one gets priority depends upon what players like yourself are more interested in continuing. =)
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@LilyLayer4
Fallen London character: Lilith B.
Author of Maelstrom - Play - Discuss
Author of City of Phire - Play - Discuss
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Lily Fox
Posts: 346
9/28/2012
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I am kicking myself that I hadn't changed this weeks ago but...
- 'Finding Your Feet' actions now have no minimum or maximum attribute requirements
- No more bottomless cleaning tonics.
And, a rather significant change:
- Once the Battle of Ketai begins, there is no turning back. Each scene in the battle Must happen immediately after the other until the battle is over.
.
edited by lily on 9/28/2012
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@LilyLayer4
Fallen London character: Lilith B.
Author of Maelstrom - Play - Discuss
Author of City of Phire - Play - Discuss
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Lily Fox
Posts: 346
9/28/2012
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A secret cache has been discovered! In the sands is hidden an extra little something for the first 50 visitors: phire.storynexus.com/a/SecretCache
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@LilyLayer4
Fallen London character: Lilith B.
Author of Maelstrom - Play - Discuss
Author of City of Phire - Play - Discuss
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theatermonkey
Posts: 4
9/28/2012
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For opportunity cards, it needs more cards that earn Athletics, Martial, or Survival. Given all the Knowledge and Persuasion Cards, you progress faster in those then in the other stats.
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A Permanent Blow To Our Country's Propriety: Coyote Goodfellow was determined to be an Old Trickster God when a Spirifer tried to steal his soul. The divine soul then devoured the Spirifer to the bone. When asked why he was here, Coyote commented on the delightful games of the Masters.
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