Re: the Cheery Man - Bad jokes aside, it's a non-issue. The Jovial Contrarian can't walk, either.

Speaking of dark horses, I wonder how well (or poorly) Dr. Gideon Orthos would do if he ran on "FOR SCIENCE!" platform.

Maybe it's the "i believe in fairies" type of idea, where if you believe hard enough that something is real, it actually does become real.

I believe in mr Slowcake.

• Colonel Molly. Having recently aged out of the Regiment as a 'longshanks', Molly has decided to take command of London by winning the election. Despite her youth, she brings impressive management and diplomatic experience, having led London's most powerful urchin gang, and has contacts throughout the city. In a rare show of unity, London's urchins have rallied around Molly; they may be too young to vote, but only a fool would deny their usefulness in an electoral campaign. She's also attracted support from the Dock workers (who fondly mention "the cannon incident" with a twinkle in their eye). She is opposed by the Constables, who see her as little more than a ruffian miscreant, and by some of the more stiff-necked Society members who look down on her humble origins.

• The Tiger Keeper. The overlord of The Labyrinth of Tigers has decided that he's the man...er, the person, to run an even larger zoo: London. His celebrity status has brought support from Society (he's always in demand as a guest at extravagant weddings, it seems), and also from the Rubbery and Clay Men who hope that a non-human mayor might lead to better standing for their own kind. With immense financial resources, the Tiger Keeper seems to be an instant front-runner and promises great things for London, but beware: tigers lie.

• F.F. Gebrandt. The chemist and entrepreneur has launched a campaign for Mayor, trading on her immense brand-name recognition. She promises improvements in public health and infrastructure, and has attracted support from both the University intellectuals and the Church, as well as the Tomb-Colonists who hope she can improve their ailing health. Mr Wines has also publicly approved of her candidacy, which most consider a mixed blessing. Will having Gebrandt as mayor act as a much-needed Tincture of Vigor for London, or will her candidacy fizzle out like a depleted foxfire candle stub? And will we ever find out just what "F.F." stands for? If elected, she promises to reveal all.

But what would Mr Slowcake actually *want*?