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Soapboxes in the Square of Lofty Words Messages in this topic - RSS

Six Handed Merchant
Six Handed Merchant
Posts: 139

7/8/2017
We have threads for the various individual campaigns, and in-game storylets for debates, but no place to stand on a soapbox and pontificate at each other in-character. So in the spirit of Victorian “enlightenment”, I welcome you to this thread. The Six Handed Merchant will happily start us off:

——

The Six Handed Merchant stands on a makeshift stage in the Square of Lofty Words (which is actually just four cobweb-covered soapboxes stacked on top of each other). Six smooths out their gaudy-colored skirt, straightens their bow-tie, and begins:


“My Fellow Londoners! I bring you grave and alarming news about the Dauntless Temperance Campaigner! No doubt by this time you have heard that -if elected- the Dauntless Temperance Campaigner would throw London’s vast supplies prisoner’s honey down our wells! But have you given any thought as to where those wells go? Well, in my most recent investigations, I have come to the conclusion that there are, quite possibly, Very Bad Things beneath the streets of London! Horrors that could give us all nightmares, or worse!”


“And what would happen, my good citizens, if these horrors were to ingest an alarmingly large quantity of prisoner’s honey?”


“Why, they would then share in OUR dreams! Can you imagine?!! Nightmarish monstrosities invading our sweetest honey dreams! Well, I say we Londoners will not stand such abominations in our dreams! Today, we shall-”


“-But where would you get the honey TO dream?” Mr. Feathers (the snow-white raven on Six’s shoulder) interrupts, “If the Dauntless Temperance Campaigner dumps all of London’s honey down wells, you wouldn’t have any honey to dream with in the first place...”


Six stares back at the raven in horror, all color having drained from their face. “By God, you’re right! But without any honey I'd….I’ve….I’ve gotta go…”


And in a flash, the Six Handed Merchant bolts from the Square of Lofty Words towards Veilgarden’s honey dens.





  • edited by Six Handed Merchant on 1/1/2018

    --
    The Six Handed Merchant: If it's the truth you seek, The Six Handed Merchant is the gentlemen-, er, lady-, er, detective you need! Just pay no heed to that Eradication Officer tailing Six: that poor fellow is simply out of his mind!

    Six's Mantlepiece (I am available for roleplaying and SAs. My schedule is pretty full, so please PM me first to work out the details.)
  • +8 link
    Isaac Zienfried
    Isaac Zienfried
    Posts: 364

    7/8/2017
    (Entirely out of character, I'd advise against openly yelling about wells and things beneath the streets. There are those who might, ah, not appreciate such 'unsubstantiated nonsense' being thrown about to panic the fine people of London.

    In other words, enjoy the Special Constables knocking at your door.)

    --
    Isaac Zienfried, 'The Vacillating Belligerent.'
    A gentleman of complicated loyalties, complicated morality, and complicated goals.
    But really, it's hard to keep things simple down here!
    0 link
    Six Handed Merchant
    Six Handed Merchant
    Posts: 139

    7/8/2017
    Isaac Zienfried wrote:
    (Entirely out of character, I'd advise against openly yelling about wells and things beneath the streets. There are those who might, ah, not appreciate such 'unsubstantiated nonsense' being thrown about to panic the fine people of London.

    In other words, enjoy the Special Constables knocking at your door.)


    (Out of character, I'm sure the Special Constables are already staking out the Six Handed Merchant's townhouse, and probably bumping into agents from the Department of Menace Eradication at the same time. ;-)

    At the moment, Six is busy converting their wine cellar into a honey cellar, and so has stopped mentioning the things beneath the streets for the time being.)


  • edited by Six Handed Merchant on 7/9/2017

    --
    The Six Handed Merchant: If it's the truth you seek, The Six Handed Merchant is the gentlemen-, er, lady-, er, detective you need! Just pay no heed to that Eradication Officer tailing Six: that poor fellow is simply out of his mind!

    Six's Mantlepiece (I am available for roleplaying and SAs. My schedule is pretty full, so please PM me first to work out the details.)
  • 0 link




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