Barse
Posts: 706
6/26/2017
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[I thought it would be fun to have a place to share in-character writing, rhetoric, or propaganda, as well as any fan art, relating to the 1895 Fallen London election. Post as your character, someone new, or take up the mantle of the mysterious force of civic unrest known as The Self-Appointed Laureate!]
In just two short weeks London’s first Mayor, Sinning Jenny, is stepping down, and the city is abuzz with argument, speculation, and, in the odd dark corner or firelit salon, intelligent discourse. The three candidates – The Dauntless Temperance Campaigner, Feducci and the Implacable Detective – are just about to launch their campaigns. Discerning citizens will soon busy themselves digging up the candidates’ sordid pasts and closet-bound skeletons, each vociferously campaigning for their chosen representative.
Some agendas, however, are not so transparent. Earlier this morning, tacked to doors and slid through letterboxes, a number of poems found purchase in the streets. All are doggerel attacks on the Mayoral candidates. All are signed “The Self-Appointed Laureate”, although the handwriting seems different on each document. The meter is off, the rhymes are dubious, and the poet(s?) doesn’t seem to offer any solutions, but still…
Vote For Bandages 'Cos You're Gonna Need 'Em
“Away with such fictions as laws and restrictions!”
Shouts the old bandaged man’s campaign.
“Out with the old, bring the daring and bold,
And fly up the links of the chain!”
Which is dandy and fine so long as one declines
To consider Feducci’s intentions;
Wreathed in ribbons of black and poised to attack,
This foreigner-mayor’s interventions
Will end in spilt blood staining the mud
Of our already-mucky home streets.
Because, you see, his “meritocracy”
Is nothing but a more discreet
Way of saying “I will be preying
On the poor and the weak and the lame.”
This Presbyter spy’s got his half-rotten eye
On our city – Fair Play, Fair Game?
Temperance and Other Vices
Dauntless, she taunts us, and threatens our gin-
Well if gin has no virtue then leave me in sin.
Teatime for London? Don’t patronise me;
There’s rum in that teacup, taste it and see
That the Lady’s more shady than she’s letting on.
First she comes for the drink, and then for the fun
‘till we’re locked in our homes in the name of propriety
As the zealots and prudes disembowel society.
“Dearie,” she leers, but do not be fooled
It’s not Office she wants, but Londoners schooled
To politely decline, to correctly oppose
All former joys. Besides, everyone knows
It’s the campaign that sustains her, she knows nothing else
And when the gin and the honey is cleaned off our shelves
You can be sure she’ll find something else that’s a sin;
She’s the Temperance Campaigner, she likes to fight, not to win.
And so Justice, as promised, sits in office, straight-laced,
Elected by voters with socks pulled to the waist.
“Teatime for London!” is yelled from the roofs
But see the agenda? Soon tea’s a sin too.
The Dame is Afoot (And Will Crush You Under Her Toes)
A final invective
For the Detective
Rounds out this Laureate’s verse.
Her all-seeing eye
Does nowt but pry
Into your homes and your purse-
A shill to the cops,
That eyeglass Cyclops
Will bring down the hammer of Law
On the petty crimes
And underhand dime
That pave over society’s myriad flaws.
Nowt but confusion
‘waits the “Log’cal Conclusion”
Should she win in her short-sightedness-
The Constables’ rule
Will cause London to fall
Once again; a Just, but non-functional, mess.
(At the bottom of this last piece of doggerel someone has scribbled, in different handwriting again, “Vote Squidley!”)
edited by Barse on 6/26/2017
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 The Scorched Sailor, up for most social actions and RP. Not as scary as he looks.
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Passionario
Posts: 777
6/26/2017
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Passionario: Profile, Story, Ending
Passion: Profile, Appearance
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Lord Gazter
Posts: 665
6/26/2017
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The Phlegethonian Gazette
No. 7............................................................WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26, 1895.............................................Price Five Pence
The Dauntless Temperance Campaigner's Revolutionary Sympathies Revealed
She is known for her campaigns against the use of wine, honey, and other products that she and her followers have deemed "dangerous to the people of London." These unfounded, and frankly ridiculous ideas of hers as well as her dogged pursuit of these ideas have made her a figure of some prominence, but is this all there is to the Dauntless Temperance Campaigner. One of our reporters was able to infiltrate her campaign and discover several shocking new revelations concerning the loyalties of the Dauntless Temperance Campaigner.
continued p. 3
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The Election for the Next Mayor of London Begins
The Streets of London are rife with slogans and banners. Campaigners flock to the streets attempting to gain the attentions and votes of the people of London for their candidate, filling those who listen with either zeal or scorn. The second election for the mayor of London is now in
full swing and gears of candidates campaigns have begun to rapidly turn. The announcements of the current candidates have caused quite the ruckus in London, and it would be remiss in our duties to the public if this publication refrained from informing its readers about the current goings on this election process. This publication was able to interview one of the candidates, and ask him about his policies and his plans for London if he is to be elected as the mayor of London. His slogans such as "Fair play, Fair game" and "Away with restriction and in with the bold, the daring, and the brazen" and his daring attitude sparked the curiosities of the people of London, and this publication sought to satiate those curiosities. Feducci and his followers were asked questions about their campaign such as how they would assist the people of London and what reforms if any are needed now after a year Sinning Jenny’s leadership.
continued p. 2
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The Price on Souls in London Have Increased by a Rather Noticeable Degree
After recent events in Spite the price of souls has increased. Speculation as to what the event was is up for debate as the Ministry of Public Decency refuses to answer any questions regarding said event. Our team of experts believe it to be the discovery of a large, illegal spirifering ring, and the confiscation of their ill gotten souls. This has in effect increased the sale of souls throughout London and led to a slight increase in the number of soulless citizens in London. We asked one member of the Brass Embassy his opinion and we were told that "recent events have not changed the soul trade in any noticeable way and that prices for souls will return back to normal prices within a few days.
continued p. 6
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Recent Darling of Veilgarden Accused of Taking Part in a Scandalous Affair
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Lord Gazter: a charming gentleman of noble birth and a person of significant influence.
Victoria Crow: a spirited la.. young woman and freshly anointed firebrand.
Get a copy of the Phlegethonian Gazette for pertinent and trustworthy news! Only five pence!
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Lord Gazter
Posts: 665
6/29/2017
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The Phlegethonian Gazette
No. 10.........................................................Saturday, JUNE 29, 1895................................................Price Five Pence
The Dauntless Temperance Campaigner’s Campaign of Bribery and Corruption
Corruption is sadly not an uncommon occurrence, but it appears that even those who claim the be the most righteous and well intending are not afraid to stoop to such lows as bribery. One of this publication’s reporters was able to infiltrate one of the headquarters of the the Dauntless Temperance Campaigner’s Campaign and brought back documents detailing an elaborate scheme. The question must be asked: if these people are greatly involved in her campaign then are the goals of the Dauntless Temperance Campaigner more sinister in nature?
continued p. 2
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A Plague of Political Fervour and Resulting Riotous Mobs Found Throughout London
The second election for mayor of London has brought about new candidates, excitement, and ideas. It has also brought about a gangs of rabid mobs of supporters, who attack the supporters of their candidate’s rivals. We asked the citizens of London on their experiences.
A lady by the name of Lallinka told us, “I have been wholly unaffected by it.” Another told us, “I’ve got to say I’m fond of all those of all these mobs, gives me some work opportunities and offers a platform for conversion of voters that’s rarely seen elsewhere. Someone has to bandage up all those bloodied dockers eh? And who better fit to do so than someone “wrapped” in bandages.”
Now this would lead some to believe that the these roving gatherings of political supporters are benign, but others tell stories of havoc caused by these mobs. A gentleperson known as the Scorched Sailor told us, “Honestly preferred it when no one would come near the Reck ‘cos they thought she was haunted. Now she can’t move in ‘er mooring fer protesters swingin’ lanterns and insults about.”
One individual we interviewed said that the election was, “A right b___dy mess.” As well as saying that, “I’d be rid of the whole d__n thing if it got rid of these mobs who do nothin’, but cause trouble and terrify decent folk from walking in the streets,” and that “Jack of Smiles causes less havoc on London than these mobs.”
Still another London citizen, who is known as The Antioch told us, “Every time I return to my lodgings back from a bout of campaigning, I get mobbed by these filthy vagabonds. I won’t even be home for thirty seconds before a horde of these wretches with nothing better to do are waving lanterns around like it’s the end of the world. Get jobs and do real work, that’s what I say to them.”
continued p. 3
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Sorrow Spider Nest Found Underneath a Warehouse in Wolfstack Docks
A recent string of sorrow spider attacks lead to the discovery of a nest of sorrow spiders. One would expect panic from locals, but the mood remains unchanged. This is an all too common occurrence in Wolfstack. There are many suspected reasons as to why this such a standard affair such a ship bringing stowaways, a recent explosion in the population of sorrow spiders in other parts of London, and a plethora of other reasons.
continued p. 6
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New Revelations on the Former Toast of Veilgarden Make Themselves Known
edited by Lord Gazter on 6/29/2017
--
Lord Gazter: a charming gentleman of noble birth and a person of significant influence.
Victoria Crow: a spirited la.. young woman and freshly anointed firebrand.
Get a copy of the Phlegethonian Gazette for pertinent and trustworthy news! Only five pence!
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A Dimness
Posts: 613
6/29/2017
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I am heavily disappointed in the media for siding against the Dauntless Temperance Campaign for the mere sake of sensationalism.
It's never been a secret that we offered payment as persuasion for players who weren't partial to any of the three candidates.
We have, in fact, been rather open about it.
Hey, if people sell their votes, why are we the bad guys for buying them?
http://community.failbettergames.com/topic24469-undecided-on-a-candidate-sell-your-votes.aspx
edited by Infinity Simulacrum on 6/29/2017
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A truth so strange it can only be lied into existence
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Lord Gazter
Posts: 665
6/29/2017
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Infinity Simulacrum wrote:
Hey, if people sell their votes, why are we the bad guys for buying them?
http://community.failbettergames.com/topic24469-undecided-on-a-candidate-sell-your-votes.aspx
Confirmation of corruption in the Dauntless Temperance Campaigner's Campaign.
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Lord Gazter: a charming gentleman of noble birth and a person of significant influence.
Victoria Crow: a spirited la.. young woman and freshly anointed firebrand.
Get a copy of the Phlegethonian Gazette for pertinent and trustworthy news! Only five pence!
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A Dimness
Posts: 613
6/29/2017
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Lord Gazter wrote:
Infinity Simulacrum wrote:
Hey, if people sell their votes, why are we the bad guys for buying them?
http://community.failbettergames.com/topic24469-undecided-on-a-candidate-sell-your-votes.aspx
Confirmation of corruption in the Dauntless Temperance Campaigner's Campaign.
And you are a slave to your newspaper, catering to the lowest common denominator with sensasionalist hooey, cooked up by superstitious yokels seeing phantoms of their own imagining.
But if you really think our bribing is so scandalous, I'd like to simply counter with this little statement:
"Fair play, fair game."
edited by Infinity Simulacrum on 6/29/2017
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A truth so strange it can only be lied into existence
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Lord Gazter
Posts: 665
6/29/2017
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We tell people what they wish to hear, and what the people demand is the truth. We protect the people from villainy such as yours. Now good day to you.
*Places a hat back on his head and walks away.*
--
Lord Gazter: a charming gentleman of noble birth and a person of significant influence.
Victoria Crow: a spirited la.. young woman and freshly anointed firebrand.
Get a copy of the Phlegethonian Gazette for pertinent and trustworthy news! Only five pence!
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Sir Joseph Marlen
Posts: 575
6/29/2017
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To be fair, members from all three campaigns have offered to by votes from the undecided. I'm all for criticism of ourselves and each other, but I feel like targeting the Campaigner solely for the blame is a bit biased.
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Sir Joseph Marlen - The Romantic Sophist
Alexus Harven - The Defiant Fatalist
Rose Reinhelm - The Respectful Revolutionary
Cappuccino - The Perfidious Spycraft
Available for any and all social actions.
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A Dimness
Posts: 613
6/29/2017
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Lord Gazter wrote:
We tell people what they wish to hear
Confirmation of the lack of credibility in the Phlegethonian Gazette, if they're willing to lie for the sake of sales, who's to say they haven't been lying all along?
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A truth so strange it can only be lied into existence
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Barse
Posts: 706
6/29/2017
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Please, I created this as a place for flash fan-fic, creative writing, art and mild RP. There are far better places one might go to in order to hurl one-line rejoinders. Sincere short- and long-form election debate already dominates a number of other threads; this is just a bit of fun.
edited by Barse on 6/29/2017
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The Scorched Sailor, up for most social actions and RP. Not as scary as he looks.
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Lallinka
Posts: 138
6/29/2017
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Dearest Lord Gazter,
might if I buy a copy of this marvellous piece of work, or five?
I have many friends, acquaintances and rivals who I would be delighted to show that I have been quoted in a newspaper. Especially the rivals.
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Lallinka is accepting any social interactions as soon as my actions allow it. No Loitering and no Photographer, please. Available for interviews about Nemesis and a Midnighter for Orphanages.
Ragish is accepting everything, including Loitering and Photographer. Available for interviews about Heart's Desire and a Crooked-cross for Salons.
Pienkava is freshly out of prison and will need charity to survive in the harsh streets of London. Have pity, she is only fifteen.
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JimmyTMalice
Posts: 237
6/29/2017
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An urchin saunters into the room where the heated debate is taking place and presses a distressingly orange pamphlet into the hands of everyone present.
SQUIDLEY JOHNSON: A MAN-SQUID YOU CAN COUNT ON
In these uncertain times, it is important to remember the values of a true leader. Does London truly want tea? What of coffee, and other fine beverages? Is it logical to vote for a candidate who is nothing but a toady of the serpents behind the mirrors? Do you wish to live under a Mayor more fickle than the wind, and be unsure what laws he may have overturned with a roll of the dice?
The popular candidates spin their webs of lies, every word from their mouths more false than the last. The only trustworthy candidate is one who speaks from the heart and does not rely on winding arguments or honeyed promises. Squidley eschews the limitations of language in favour of something far more powerful: incomprehensible warbling.
Perhaps the time has come to dispel some spurious rumours about our esteemed candidate.
Article One: Despite what the toadies of society would have you believe, Squidley is not a sea-monster come to devour your children. He only devours seafood, and occasionally small rodents.
Article Two: The Strident Bugle published an article attacking Squidley for what their correspondent regarded as "ill-thought-out nonsense with no clear policies". This is patently false. Squidley has two very important policies: the first is to overthrow the bourgeoisie, and the second is to not waste time dallying with writing down policies when taking action is paramount.
Article Three: Squidley's campaign manager, Gideon Stormstrider, has been accused of translating Squidley's utterances incorrectly to further a personal agenda. This is vicious slander: Mr Stormstrider is a respected individual in the church community and a visionary scientist. Any connections with the anarchists known as the Calendar Council are outrageous fabrications, and if you happen to know who may be spreading them you should forward their name to the Antediluvian Theatre so that they can be sorted out in a proper and thoroughly undignified fashion!
edited by JimmyTMalice on 6/29/2017
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 Gideon Stormstrider, the Esoteric Gadgeteer
 Jimmy T. Malice, gone.
A Tale of Two Suns - Meeting Your Maker - A Squid in the Polls
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Isaac Zienfried
Posts: 364
6/30/2017
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Lord Gazter wrote:
We protect the people from villainy such as yours.
There is a fantastic irony in claiming to protect the people from villainy while attacking those who seek to protect the people from villainy. Then again, no one accused your camp of an overabundance of higher thought...
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Isaac Zienfried, 'The Vacillating Belligerent.'
A gentleman of complicated loyalties, complicated morality, and complicated goals.
But really, it's hard to keep things simple down here!
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JimmyTMalice
Posts: 237
6/30/2017
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Isaac Zienfried wrote:
There is a fantastic irony in claiming to protect the people from villainy while attacking those who seek to protect the people from villainy. Then again, no one accused your camp of an overabundance of higher thought...
The urchin bounds over and says, reading from a script, "You seem like a free-thinking sort of gentleman/lady (delete as appropriate)! Pause for dramatic effect. Have you considered throwing your support behind the only worthy candidate, Squidley Johnson? Take this pamphlet. No pressure. I insist."
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Gideon Stormstrider, the Esoteric Gadgeteer
Jimmy T. Malice, gone.
A Tale of Two Suns - Meeting Your Maker - A Squid in the Polls
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Isaac Zienfried
Posts: 364
6/30/2017
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JimmyTMalice wrote:
Have you considered throwing your support behind the only worthy candidate, Squidley Johnson?
And, if I may ask, would he do, if he was elected, about Ale-, er, Aigul?
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Isaac Zienfried, 'The Vacillating Belligerent.'
A gentleman of complicated loyalties, complicated morality, and complicated goals.
But really, it's hard to keep things simple down here!
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A Dimness
Posts: 613
6/30/2017
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Does Squidley Johnson have an opinion on Rubbery Lumps?
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A truth so strange it can only be lied into existence
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JimmyTMalice
Posts: 237
6/30/2017
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The violently-coloured pamphlets have answers to popular questions printed neatly on the back cover in miniscule writing.
Rubbery Lumps: the less said about these, the better. Squidley has a delicate constitution. Mutton Island is known for its 'humanitarian' appetites, and Rubbery Lumps are similarly reviled by our cephalopod friends.
Aigul: As law-abiding citizens should have no knowledge of Station VI, Squidley has no official policies regarding it. However, when the topic of Flukes is brought up, he tends to emit a plaintive cry that sends shivers down one's spine.
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Gideon Stormstrider, the Esoteric Gadgeteer
Jimmy T. Malice, gone.
A Tale of Two Suns - Meeting Your Maker - A Squid in the Polls
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Azothi
Posts: 586
6/30/2017
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Does he recall how they came to that place? Did he sing of their lightnings and shapeful disgrace? Did they tilt their vanes and ennoble their spires? Will he welcome us still and commingle all choirs?
... and what his opinion on legalizing hunting fox hunters?
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Azoth I, the Emissary of Cardinals - A Paramount Presence (not currently accepting new Proteges)
Away to where the Chain cannot bind us.
 Hesperidean.
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A Dimness
Posts: 613
6/30/2017
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Azothi wrote:
Does he recall how they came to that place? Did he sing of their lightnings and shapeful disgrace? Did they tilt their vanes and ennoble their spires? Will he welcome us still and commingle all choirs?
...and not enough, not enough, still they mourn.
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A truth so strange it can only be lied into existence
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