Professor Strix
Posts: 616
8/16/2016
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August, 16th
Log 11
I decided to give a good look in my catch before giving it to someone, as it could ensure some nice Cryptozoological notes. I did not expect to fall asleep in the middle of my work.
That time, the dream takes place in Parabola. No, I mean, all dreams happen in Parabola, but in this one, I see my dream-self in Parabola. I mean- Forget about that.
My dream-self is in a jungle, in Parabola. I cannot see her at first, until I take a closer look: here am I, the person with a strange mask, in strange clothes. I am hiding for someone behind a tree, muttering to myself, as if I was ready to enter stage.
From my spot in the woods, I can hear voices coming closer. Most of them are angry.
"We are almost ready to go. Why are you coming here?"
"It's almost certainly a trap!"
"We should go back to what really matters!"
"SILENCE."
It is an old and alien voice. I had never heard it in all its intensity and I shouldered. That word is not said in any language I know, but I instinctively understand it. When the silence is achieved, the old voice says, tired and melancholic:
"There is an empty space, enough for one more story. Leaving without it would be bad luck. Whoever this person is, it helped me better than some of you. Which reminds me, I did not invite any of you to come with me. If you are so unhappy with my decision, just wait out there."
Blessed silence! I take it as my cue. Breathing deeply, I finish my prayer and go to meet my guests.
By hearing the strange voices, one would be excused if they thought that nothing less than monster from forgotten eons would be there waiting for me. Thankfully, my mind casts a merciful veil over the true form of the beings there. Instead of monsters, I can only see a child circled by a small flock of bats. They sit in a low branch, the empty eyes of the child gazing at me curiously.
"Oh. There you are."
I lose no time in scenics. With a twist of my wrist, I cast away my mask. My disguise follows it, leaving my true body behind. Suddenly, I am back to a woman of small stature, white hair, red eyes, arched nose. As always.
The child is stumped. They have no eyes, and still I can tell they blinked. Then, they chuckle.
"I say!" Their voice is amused. "I lived for so long, I observed so many human beings, that I was sure that there was nothing to learn from you anymore. I thought I understood you in a fundamental level, that I had seen everything. Then, I discover that my most faithful ally is the same person ahead the March of the Candles. Why? Just... why?"
"Common interests." I answer, casually. "If you get what you want, you leave Earth alone, the Sun does not explode, everyone is happy."
"Yes, but what did you get from all this? Personally? I am under the impression that you could destroy me just as easily."
"And unleash terrors, such as the Liberation of Night? No, thanks. I just want people to make their choices freely. As I grow older, I can see the bigger picture more and more. I learn to love bigger and bigger groups of people, to understand them, and how important they are. I do what I do for the happiness of my family. And my family is he whole Humanity. It is enough for me. I do not require personal rewards. Now, go. Finish your preparations, go away and please succeed. We need our star exactly where it is."
(I do not speak of any other personal reasons I might have had. A bat drops a cherry on my head and I return the favour playfully.)
The child is silent for a while. I can say they are still a little dumb-struck from earlier. It takes a while until they say something again, and it is my time to be surprised:
"Come with me."
"What?"
I have always known that this child was just a mind-projection of something greater and inhuman. I have always expected it to be unnatural and inscrutable. I have never expected it to fidget. But fidget it does.
"As you said, I cannot fail. But I am far from guaranteed to succeed. You could surprise me, more than once. I could use your help in the... supreme moment. Name your price."
I look at the child. I look at the bats swarming around them. I think in a bright jar in my mantelpiece. It is time.
"Sure." My voice does not have the sombre tone it was proper for those situations. "I want a full minute in Surface, in a fully functional human body. You see, I do not require rewards, I just want to remember why I am doing all of this. I want something no one can give me, and, consequently, no one can take from me. I want a memory. A feeling."
The bats complain and chitter. The child ignores them and says, simply: "Deal."
Everything around me blurs and I feel like I am raising from the ground in a prodigious speed. I did not expect to have my wish granted so soon.
And then I see it. Surface. As I remember. In my dream, I cannot feel what my dream-self must be feeling. I run in the grass, I bask in sunlight. (Granted, I want to say very rude things to the Sun, but it does not diminish my love for her warmth.) I hear birds, I see the sea crashing in a distant beach. There is a wind carrying the smell of flowers and the sound of children playing. There are clouds, real clouds. I absorb as much as I can. As I feel my time ending, I catch some cold and pure water from a spring. Some of it, I drink greedily. How I missed that fresh water just coming out of the ground! The rest of the water, I throw in the air, forming a fine mist. It is a mad hope, but...
There it is. A small, but actual rainbow. The sign of the covenant. For how long I was denied the simply pleasure of looking at a rainbow? There are ten seconds left of my minute. I close my eyes and inhale deeply. Time slows down to a crawl. I can feel it all. The vigour of the water stream, the timid life of the plants around me, the triumphant vitality of the animals all around me, the hearts of all human beings pulsating as one. This is what I chose to love. That is what I was going to lose, so I could protect it. A mix of love, longing, and desire to preserve starts to grow in my chest, too big to be contained by a single human soul.
My soul explodes in a million glistering shards.
It takes my body with it, in a quick blaze. If I were any other person, it would be the end. A beautiful end, in a bliss of love. Not the common pale feeling people call 'love', but something purer, higher.
Alas, my curse would never allow this mercy.
At the end of my minute, I feel myself falling again, all specks of body and soul gluing together, taking form, despite their desire to hug the whole word. When I fall rudely in the front of the Bazaar, in the same place I had stood when I was leading the Candle March, I am myself again. Or almost that.
Voices discuss at the background. There is mocking, there are accusations, there is anger... I do not care. My eyes keep staring the Neath's roof, as tears flow out of my eyes It is of utmost importance to my dream-self that I show what I felt. It is not something I can explain in mere human words. Only one language can sum up the surge of passions that blew up my soul earlier. I raise my broken hand, preparing the trick that a Grateful Devil taught me so long ago. First, I make a small flame. Then, I change its shape until it forms the glyph I wanted. It is so powerful that my dream does not allow my present self to stare at it.
All the voices come to a silence. I can feel degrees of this silence. In some places, it is a thunderstruck silence. Here and there, it is a despiteful one. In one particular place, it is even a furious one. I am surprise to detect a... proud silence?
"Careful, now." Someone or something raises me from the ground with infinite care. "I knew you could pull that off, you crazy woman. Now, it will be fine." Something embraces me and presses my head towards them. "All shall be well."
I touch my silver crucifix, that still miraculously retains most of its cross shape, despite exploding with my body previously. I say the last word that my human lips will ever be able to pronounce:
"Amen."
I am still not sure when did I wake up.
--
The Inescapable Professor, London's Most Academic Detective. Open to consultation from Mondays to Fridays, above the Silver Binding bookshop, Veilgarden. Half the payment in advance, half after closing the case. No refunds.
"THIS SATURDAY, in MAHOGANY HALL, delight your eyes with the DARING FEATS of the DAPPER ESCAPIST. Gape at his CHARM and WIT and his CLEVER TRICKS OF ILLUSIONISM. No mirrors used."
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