Kir Talmage
Posts: 37
12/18/2012
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I seem unable to resist trying to build something SN. So --
The Gardens of Jangle is in pre-Beta at http://jangle.storynexus.com/ You can create characters and explore a bit as a beginner. Feedback would be welcome.
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CharlottePike
Posts: 39
12/18/2012
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It's very interesting so far. I'd love to return when you've expanded it some. I especially enjoyed the little hints of mystery and "otherness" that make it so different from our world.
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Azelea
Posts: 13
12/18/2012
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Hey it's enjoyable.
What sort of feedback are you looking for?
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Azelea
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Kir Talmage
Posts: 37
12/18/2012
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CharlottePike wrote:
It's very interesting so far. I'd love to return when you've expanded it some. I especially enjoyed the little hints of mystery and "otherness" that make it so different from our world.
Thanks! I will keep y'all posted here as it expands.
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Kir Talmage
Posts: 37
12/18/2012
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Azelea wrote:
Hey it's enjoyable.
What sort of feedback are you looking for?
First order of feedback is whether there's any possible There there. So you and CharlottePike suggest yeah, maybe there is/will be. I don't want to write something that's not fun. I don't want to go too slow (though I have action refresh high right now for testing.) I figured the earlier I was open for feedback the better I'd get at writing like this...
As I go along, I'm hoping for comments from "this doesn make sense/what if you did X instead..." to "oops, there's a typo on that card over there" to "Your overall story arc would hang together better if..." to "You have got to have some ____ in order to appeal to _________" to "Hey, this dead ends and I think you meant it to ...." -- anything constructive, and specifics are great if they occur to people!
Does that make sense?
Thank you so much!
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Azelea
Posts: 13
12/19/2012
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Kir Talmage wrote:
As I go along, I'm hoping for comments from "this doesn make sense/what if you did X instead..." to "oops, there's a typo on that card over there" to "Your overall story arc would hang together better if..." to "You have got to have some ____ in order to appeal to _________" to "Hey, this dead ends and I think you meant it to ...." -- anything constructive, and specifics are great if they occur to people!
Does that make sense?
Thank you so much!
I was able to play it to the point where I could choose a way.
The world excites me. Featherkin, furfolk, dryskin, I want to learn more about them.
Also the basic qualities, passion, fortitude and curiosity sit well with me.
I didn't notice anything out of order, although I was dissapointed that the tavern event ended when I had chosen my way. You might want to either choose not to have it show up at all anymore once the way is chosen, or give options related to the way you have chosen.
Hope this helps.
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Azelea
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Hanon Ondricek
Posts: 417
12/19/2012
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I played through...it seemed like a very competent and interesting character creation segment, and I enjoyed it. Nothing else seemed to happen once I made a choice. I got all the clothing, and a couple of qualities that seemed to suggest plots...I assume this is not implemented?
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Kir Talmage
Posts: 37
12/19/2012
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Azelea wrote:
I didn't notice anything out of order, although I was dissapointed that the tavern event ended when I had chosen my way. You might want to either choose not to have it show up at all anymore once the way is chosen, or give options related to the way you have chosen.
Hope this helps.
YES! Thank you.
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Kir Talmage
Posts: 37
12/19/2012
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HanonO wrote:
I played through...it seemed like a very competent and interesting character creation segment, and I enjoyed it. Nothing else seemed to happen once I made a choice. I got all the clothing, and a couple of qualities that seemed to suggest plots...I assume this is not implemented?
Exactly. Paper outlines (some a little too sketchy) not yet into storynexus. I wanted to make sure the chunks I have are clean enough and intriguing enough to others that it's worth (to me) pushing forward. Way fun, also time-consuming (as no doubt you know).
Thank you!
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Hierophant
Posts: 782
12/19/2012
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Are you planning to submit this for this season's WotS?
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Head Writer
Zero Summer
zerosummer@outlook.com
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Catherine Raymond
Posts: 2518
12/19/2012
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I seem to be getting the same three cards, even though I have already maxed out the choices possible on them. Also, there seems to be an HTML bug: The number of the quality "Sense of Direction" shows up as a blank space, both in the storylets and on the list of qualities on the left-hand sidebar.
edited by cathyr19355 on 12/19/2012
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Cathy Raymond
http://fallenlondon.com/Profile/cathyr19355
Catherine Raymond aka Mrs. Rykar Malkus http://fallenlondon.com/Profile/Catherine%20Raymond (Gone NORTH)
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Aximillio
Posts: 1251
12/19/2012
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Sounds like an interesting game
There is no picture for the 'A sort of oval' Option on the 'Half a Memory - Something tickles at your mind.'
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Possibly returned after a long hiatus. Please do not send live rats or tournament requests.
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Kir Talmage
Posts: 37
12/20/2012
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Gordon Levine wrote:
Are you planning to submit this for this season's WotS?
Nope, I won't have time to make it playable enough for that.
I might next spring if I get it where I want to be (or where I'd be happy enough as a player) by then.
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Kir Talmage
Posts: 37
12/20/2012
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Aximillio wrote:
Sounds like an interesting game
There is no picture for the 'A sort of oval' Option on the 'Half a Memory - Something tickles at your mind.'
I know; there's no icon for an egg shape yet. I thought I'd written "egg" in the field, but guess not yet. Thanks for the reminder!
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Kir Talmage
Posts: 37
12/20/2012
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Catherine Raymond wrote:
I seem to be getting the same three cards, even though I have already maxed out the choices possible on them. Also, there seems to be an HTML bug: The number of the quality "Sense of Direction" shows up as a blank space, both in the storylets and on the list of qualities on the left-hand sidebar.
edited by cathyr19355 on 12/19/2012
I'll look into this. Some of the qualities are supposed to be unnumbered; I will double check whether that's one of them (I think not, actually). Same three cards is not too surprised giving how unfinished the prologue is, but frustrating! I aim to fix that. Thank you!
edited by Kir Talmage on 12/20/2012
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Ellorie
Posts: 1
12/9/2014
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Just wanted to leave a quick note to say that, though I haven't played through a ton of content yet, what I've seen has been well-written, interesting, and enjoyable.
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