-“Deacon” shouldn’t be capitalized unless it’s being used as a pronoun, as it’s a common noun.
-Also, hm…“Francis’s” is technically grammatically correct, but nonstandard. Most people simply omit the second S and just add an apostrophe when discussing possessives with words that end in S. So it would be Francis’, for instance. This is one of the very few points of grammar that comes down to personal choice; choose what you think looks better.
-Huhwha? Maybe I’ve spent too long away from the game (not likely, since it’s only been a day), but in the Hallowed Ground story, [color=#ffffff]when did I see/get a map[/color]? The last thing I remember, I was about to [color=#ffffff]chase down a fugitive[/color]. I feel like something’s missing.
-Oooh, are you actually emulating a turn-based battle system using StoryNexus? That is awesome.
-I like the final branches of the Cityslicker grind! Not only because you offered a Paladin/Man-in-Black choice, but I also felt the story in them was amusing and pretty interesting.
-I completed Hallowed Ground! I was kind of disappointed by the final choice, though. [[color=#ffffff]The “turn it over to the authorities” option is presented as a reasonable choice, and I chose it because I place a high value on law and ordered society. I’d like to make a donation to the Mission, but the goods aren’t mine to use at my leisure. They should be returned to their rightful owners. But when you take the lawful option, it’s heavily, heavily implied that they just take it for themselves, so what was the point? I feel like I was played for a fool! D: I did feel conflicted because I didn’t entirely trust the Roughriders in the first place. I should have gone with my gut instead of my head. ;;[/color]]
-I also completed Harvestmen, though it was hard to figure out where to go because the card was a Must, and therefore “hidden”, kind of. I guess the requirement was 14 in one of the qualities? I felt the ending was kind of…unsatisfying. It didn’t really conclude or wrap up anything (though it was suitably creepy). I assume it is merely the beginning of a longer plot?
-The Patches storyline…I chose to [color=#ffffff]return him to the woman[/color], because I couldn’t seem to find any of the “better deals” mentioned. Presumably you’re saving it for a later chapter? I really hope I didn’t lock myself out of some juicy content… ;;
Alright, looks like I completed it! That was one heck of a ride. And it was just one third of the first day! How epic is this project going to be? It doesn’t seem like I can pursue any of the miniplots, though, despite having 3 in one quality (Seer of Rabbits). How high do they need to be? And what’s “The Postmaster’s Right Hand”? o_O
Anyway, questions!
Pinned. I don’t really like the opportunity card system much at all, to be honest, mainly because I hate luck-based mechanics in general. I like to always have all of my options available to me, and to have the power to choose what I want to do, and when. I do think it enhanced my experience, overall, even if I probably did end up blowing most of my actions on the grind cards trying to get those elusive rare successes. But hey; at least I was able to do them repeatedly! I think it would have been very frustrating if I could only do one at a time.
[quote]2.) Which of the subplots did you choose? What did you like about them? What would you have liked more of?[/quote]
Harvestmen and Hallowed Ground, as you probably already know from my feedback. I chose them mainly by process of elimination – I didn’t want to get involved with the shady criminal underworld, so I gravitated towards the other options. Harvestmen sounded interesting – I like a good mystery, and I felt that solving this one would be the moral thing to do, if it meant stopping serial killers. Like I said in the feedback, though, I felt it didn’t really go anywhere. You spend a lot of time dallying about trying to catch even the slightest trace of them, and then it just…ends. I don’t feel much closer to finding them; it seems like I’ve figured out some things about them, but not how to actually stop them. It also doesn’t end with a choice like Hallowed Ground does. In sum, it just feels kind of…incomplete. Though if it’s part of a bigger plot to be continued in the future, that makes sense.
Hallowed Ground I definitely liked. I do believe strongly in the importance of charity organizations, helping the poor and weak, so I was glad to learn about such a thing in Amarillo. It was interesting to explore how it worked. Like I said, my only gripe is that I felt I was conned into picking the “wrong” choice at the end.
[quote]3.) There are several places where “Must” cards are used, most significantly during The Ministry of Black Powder. Did you find the “Must” cards enhanced your experience? Or did they detract from it?[/quote]
Ohyes, I loved them. They really helped me immerse myself. It was, well, gripping! I feel it really underlined the importance and urgency of certain things. In FL, I do feel it’s kind of jarring to be booted out of reading and forced to click a button so I can continue – here, you just string the scenes together seamlessly. It’s great. Like I said, reminds my of Varytale, which I love.
[quote]4.) Balancing Zero Summer between “too grindy” and “not game-y enough” has been a challenge. Did you feel the mechanics properly supported the narrative, or did the mechanics get in the way?[/quote]
I don’t think it’s nearly as grindy as Fallen London. Possibly this will change later, but I felt I was able to grind my qualities up to the necessary levels pretty quickly – and you introduce new branches into the grind cards frequently enough that the individual stories don’t overstay their welcome (plus, there are the rare successes). Same for the “boss battle” in the main storyline – it felt a bit grindy at first, but you added new cards frequently enough and gave enough CP in the grind options for me to finish it up quickly enough. The only one I think may have been a problem was chicken chasing in Hallowed Ground – at 1 CP/action (I think?), it does take a while to get to 4. Maybe lower the requirement to 3? Overall, though, I think you did excellently on this.
[quote]5.) It’s also been a challenge to balance Zero Summer between “too wordy” and “not enough details.”* Did you feel like the game was too wordy? Or too light on descriptive details?[/quote]
I did feel it was a bit wordy in places, but I didn’t mind too much. When your medium is purely text, it’s generally a good idea to err on the side of too much words rather than too little, I think. Your world is very detailed, and it’s important to give readers details so they can understand everything clearly.
[quote]6.) What plot points did you like best? What would you like to see more of? What didn’t you see that you were looking forward to?[/quote]
The Harvestmen, definitely. Also, what is up with the rabbits? And whatever eldritch creatures we encountered in the Opening…though I presume the main story is headed in that direction anyway, since it seems like [color=#ffffff]the holy pistol MacGuffin thing is a weapon against them[/color]?
[quote]7.) Have you won any money at Tall Saul’s? Because I know a certain design team who could really use some NorteAmericano dollars. You know. For design team stuff.[/quote]
I got a blue chip from that card. No dollars, though I do have 5 of those from other sources.