When I read Tom Chick’s review of Echo Bazaar I was strangely struck by one feature of his review, and how it gave me pause to consider just how I play the game. I was particularly piqued when I read about his interactions with a fairly early storyline I distinctly remember, and how he made a different choice than myself. He “threw the idol in the water” while I kept it, and followed its mystery to the extent that I was able. Thinking back on other instances, I was struck by how often my character pursued that which was antithetical to his sanity and general wellbeing: Azarias has been set alight by some light reading and driven mad by thunderous dreams. Yet even as I write this, I note how artificial it is to create a distinction between my character and myself: insofar as my choices are his, we are the same person, separated only by the context of a fictional and fabulous world.
This train of thought then became entangled with my curiosity regarding one of the greater mysteries of the Neath: that of a certain figure’s name. Now, I’ll admit I’ve cheated somewhat, and in my thirst forknowledge have googled the plotline up to the current boundary. I’ve never actually considered pursuing the name myself because of the costs involved: I’ve proudly raised my standing with the Masters, and have accumulated quite a trove of sundries and treasures. At the same time I am thrust into a desire to plumb the depths of this terrifying enigma. It was then that I realized that this choice reflected on me personally: I was afraid of pursuing the truth for fear that I would lose my (entirely fictional) belongings and accomplishments. That fear, of course, translates very well to this real world. How often do we continue in our safe paths, like J. Alfred Prufrock, for fear of some overwhelming disaster that might sweep our petty pleasantries from under us?
I was then faced with a decision: Do I neglect the mystery for the sake of in-game comfort, or do I abandon it all, as has been keeping with my character thus far, for the sake of a name? (What’s in a name? Everything, apparently) Cheating, once I saw it for what it was, was no longer an option. I had to do things honestly. I think back to Bioshock, where (spoilers!) at the end you realize that your own powerlessness has been disguised throughout the game as the conventions and mechanics of the genre. The corollary of this is that the only choices you are free to make in the game are moral ones: whether you harvest the little sisters or not. This conundrum translates very well to our real lives as well; given the varying degrees of restriction we all face, these are the only choices that truly matter. Do you take the game seriously, then, and act as you would like to believe yourself to be? Or do you have an uncomfortable truth revealed by an instance of erstwhile entertainment, and learn to live with it?
I recognize that this is somewhat off-topic, and indeed may even be in the wrong section of the forum. I’m not even sure what I’m asking, or how to go about making this into a legitimate forum thread, complete with conversation et all. But I had these thoughts, and felt that this was an appropriate place to share them.
Regardless, I dreamt of water last night. We’ll see where this takes me.
edited by Azarias on 2/6/2012
