So, right here I am surrounded by the playful scamps, running around the floor, crawling up my trousers, eating half my dinner and falling on my head as I pen this letter. Weasels. We all know they are the best creatures ever so it got me to thinking. I’ve heard of Overgoats, and even uber and heptagoats in hushed whispers by some.
I know, and I think you do too that weasels are far better than goats at everything. I have normal weasels, Arabian fighting weasels and even a Celebrated weasel or two, but is there an ultimate weasel out there?
An ascendant weasel that has transcended thought and time? An eclipse weasel for whom the physical world is optional? An undulating weasel who can travel anywhere or a corsucating weasel for whom dire truths are laid bare?
I wonder. Does an ultimate Weasel exist or maybe they are not really cut out for it I dunno. I had to get Mannfred unstuck from the toilet the other day, but I still keeps thinking…
To follow up on what Sir Frederick said … the Ultimate Weasel exists in mega-dimensional space. As we are limited to three dimensions (or four, if you count time), we only see parts of the Ultimate Weasel at any given place-time.
The question arises, then, what of the Bifurcated Owl? What of its half-weasels? Where do the other halves go? Where does the Great and Terrible Owl fit into the Mustelidian Scripture? Is it a weasel itself?
Perhaps… is IT the ultimate weasel? edited by ReusedNPC on 12/9/2017
I’m sick of weasels. What happened to ferrets? They are more traditional in England. We keep them in our trousers and use them to hunt rabbit. Where are the ferrets of the Neath?
Er, I’m not actually sure what the difference between ferrets and weasels is. Does the term weasel encompass the world of ferrets? Anyway, I want a ferret.
believe it or not, i hear that a lot. they belong to the same weasel-like family. ferrets are often domesticated and bred for fur (so were polecats, once) or even as semi-exotic pets, weasels are most commonly seen in the wild and are way less sociable than ferrets and smaller besides.
so are stoats (also known as ermines, but only in winter), but they are more bloodthirsty and hunt proportionally much bigger prey than either weasels or ferrets, and then there are minks, also bigger than weasels and stoats but not as long as ferrets; heavier though, good swimmers. and then, martens, very clever devils, most often found in the middle of a bloodbath in your neighbour’s henhouse. the family is also closely related to otters, badgers and wolverines.
therefore if you want an ultimate weasel to match an overgoat in hellish ferocity and temeprament, look in fact, to the weasel’s cousin, the big bad badger.
Badgers are pretty hardcore. I caught one eating out of the cat’s bowl once, outside our back door. Any other British wild animal would have fled at the approach of a human. It just looked at me, finished its meal, and casually sauntered off. It went at a pace and gait which said "I’m leaving because I’m done here, not because you came along."