This is a rough explanation of what happened to Mr. Eaten, as described by the I’m a candle Tumblr, interpreted through the restrictions of the XKCD Simple Writer (ie. using only the ten hundred most commonly used words). Obviously, massive spoilers follow. Enjoy.
Long ago the sun sent a space city thing to another star with a question. The space city thing didn’t want to return with the answer because it was afraid the sun would be sad and die. But not returning was against the law so bigger angrier space creatures sent it beneath the earth to write love stories on it’s skin so maybe the sun won’t be so sad when it hears the news. Helping it are some winged space creatures. One was named after soft fire sticks. This is about him.
See, to get love stories to write on itself the space city thing needs people living around it so that it has real love stories because not real stories don’t work. To get this the space creatures buy cities from the surface and the space city thing pulls the cities and their people down to live with it. But only one city at a time. The new city breaks the old city under it which makes the people of the old city very sad and usually dead.
During the second city something bad happened. We don’t really know what but probably Fire Sticks did stuff to cause it. When shopping for the third city one of the winged space creatures who was angry at Fire Sticks told him they could buy a city if some people could eat a little bit of him. But that was a lie and the people ate a lot of him. What was left was put into the tears of the space city thing and held under until he was probably completely dead.
But more probably not completely dead because he’s still kind of around. Appearing as a voice in dreams, wells, and deep water. We call him Eaten now and the city thing and the winged creatures are afraid he’ll come back. Crazy people try to figure out his name and bad things happen to them. Or they did until a land area in the middle of water was added where very bad things happened and the big cat man had to turn everything off until it could be made less bad. Maybe some day the story will be fixed and we can start looking again. After all, an angry act done because of past wrongs will not be put off forever. edited by An Individual on 1/13/2016
From the makers of the bestselling children’s books "The Space Crab in the Hat", "Alice in Cheesemongerland" and "the Wax Wind and the Strangling Willows" comes one of the best children’s novel the Neath has ever seen: The Lying to of Fire Sticks. Come into a world full of enchanting magics, exciting space adventures and very very exotic food. Help your child help Mr. Fire Sticks find his friends, like the truly responsible parent that you are, by helping them spell Mr. Fire Sticks’ name.
Comes with irrigo crayons and gant blank pages to get your soon-to-be Urchin started in spelling Mr. Fire Sticks’ name.
Buy now and take advantage of our limited 50% off offer because a discount like that will never be postponed indefinitely.
From the makers of the bestselling children’s books "The Space Crab in the Hat", "Alice in Cheesemongerland" and "the Wax Wind and the Strangling Willows" comes one of the best children’s novel the Neath has ever seen: The Lying to of Fire Sticks. Come into a world full of enchanting magics, exciting space adventures and very very exotic food. Help your child help Mr. Fire Sticks find his friends, like the truly responsible parent that you are, by helping them spell Mr. Fire Sticks’ name.
Comes with irrigo crayons and gant blank pages to get your soon-to-be Urchin started in spelling Mr. Fire Sticks’ name.
Buy now and take advantage of our limited 50% off offer because a discount like that will never be postponed indefinitely.[/quote]