Seasons Forgivings for the RNG

Hi everybody. The Advent Calendar reminded me the RNG has a heart. So let’s forgive? What do you have forgive it for?

I forgive it for giving my main Skin of the Bazaar three times when my alt needs it, desperately. I forgive it for not cooperating when I try and Count the Days.

And most of all, I forgive it for giving me so many d–ned chances to educate Lyme. I have no time for such fancies!

Happy Holidays!

RNG, I forgive you for making my alt fail a 90% duel with Feducci 3 times. I forgive you for repeatedly failing me a 80% challenge in the forgotten quarter which nearly cost me an expedition to the Shrine. And I would like to extend this and say thank you. Thank you for giving me a ratwork timepiece on my first try robbing a drunken rat. Thank you for giving my a rare success on converting Presbyter Passphrases into Antique mysteries. Merry Christmas, RNG, and anyone who sees this.

I forgive you, RNG, for not giving me cards when I most want them. I forgive you for Tournament of Lillies failures, and I forgive you for allowing Rival’s Progress to go all the way up to 10 a few times. You’re good to me most of the time, so I try not to let the failures get me down.

I forgive you for the whole Fidgeting Writer thing. I think that storyline and I should just see other people and that’s okay.

My Dearest Randy,

I know that our relationship has had its ups and downs; the long runs of failure on near-certain successes in Wilmot’s End, the miraculous time you gave me a Rubbery Euphonium (how did you KNOW that’s what I wanted??), the months you’ve stonewalled me on my quest to draw the Skin of the Bazaar… You know our history, so rehashing it is really just me reliving the highlights. However, I believe this is the perfect season to forgive and forget the bad times, and to remember fondly the good. I hope you feel the same way (I can only imagine you do, what with that simply darling gift you gave me just last week.)

So, RNG, I extend to you only the fondest wishes for your future, and hope we can continue to work together in a way that benefits us both.

The Dark Gentleman

P.S.- I’ve decided to start dating your sister, Completely Predictable Number Generator. She seems like a sure thing. (I know, totally random, but you’re used to that, right? I know I am…)

Dear RNG,
You know, after some thought, that lark you pulled at Hallowmass was actually pretty funny. You remember the one. I was trying to fail at duelling Colonel Pommery at ~30% odds in order to rack up wounds for confessions, but instead you decided to let me win, three times in a row. I had to practically dance in place and wave my arms in front of the poor Colonel to get him to shoot me properly. Few foes have taught me the shame of failure, but you alone taught me the shame of success. I tip my hat to you, good si-err…mad-umm… yes. I only hope my streak of unwanted good luck does not precipitate an equally unwanted run of bad luck in the future. Also, thank you for both of my Impossible Theorems. I’ve heard the failure condition on that action is quite nasty and am glad to have never experienced it.

edited by MrUnderhill89 on 12/22/2014