Hey, so, I’m sure it’s been no secret that there’s been some squabbling and drama in the RP Thread, but I’d first like to clarify that nothing that happened there motivated this decision, it, uh, just sort of underlined a lot of thoughts I’d already been entertaining. So this is just so everybody is on the same page and no-one is outta the loop.
So, Eli was always a pet project of mine, to make a totally morally grey character that didn’t try to police it’s own image. When I put him in the middle of everything way back when in the Flowerdene Trials, my objective was to present a character with ample reasons to revere and revile, and let people draw their own conclusions. I think that has been a success, more than I could have ever thought feasible.
Being able to write with you guys has been some of the most fun I’ve had artistically, but I can already tell that things are changing fast. The dynamic is shifting from… The left foot to the right foot, I guess. Not bad, just different, and I’m not sure that I’ll be able to juggle my personal writing with University, sleep, eating and having a social life AND Eli. Writing for Eli is sort of like turning a different part of my brain on, it’s effortless, but it can still burn me out.
The two main reasons I’m leaving the forums for the foreseeable future are post hence.
I had a story to tell with Eli and I feel like I’ve told it. Whether he ends up dead or alive, alone or in love, I feel like his story has to end in order to get that sense of closure. More for me than anyone else, I’d imagine. I can see that this is supremely shitty timing considering we’re in the middle of the Flowerdene thing, but I gotta do it. Sorry.
Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but I feel like there is some resentment going on in the forums. We’re all writers and we’re all passionate about our craft, but I can sort of feel that there is more ego than there used to be. Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m totally not. Either way, I can’t write under that kind of pressure, so when combined with the first point, it makes a good case for me to step back.
I’ve always thought of Fallen London’s community as a sort of oasis from this type of thing, and it has been. So many of you have taught me a lot about how civility and respect can win out over a collective anonymity, and that’s pretty special cos’ I’m cynical as all hell.
When I feel like I’ve thought about it enough, I’ll write Eli’s conclusion separately and post it back here just so that everyone is on the same page. IC, he’s taken off somewhere out to zee, nobody knows why. Ezekiel went out looking for him and neither have returned. Emblem disappeared for totally unrelated reasons.
This is really contrived, but it’s all I got for you guys. If I think of something better, I’ll bring it back here.
I don’t think that the Flowerdene Arc was too ambitious, I just didn’t think people would freeze up so much. I was hoping people would feel motivated to leap at the opportunity to play their characters, like at the Trial, but maybe it was just downtime for too many people.
Once again, I’d like to say that this isn’t a super dramatic send-off. You can all still reach me on the IM stuff that I have, I’ll put it down in the signature. Maybe if I fall back in love with Fallen London than I’ll come back with a different character under a different name, but for now, I just wanted to thank all you guys for all the fun times. Maybe this is super overly-sentimental, but that’s how I do.