Help in translation of a pen of paper RPG

Fallen London
1

Hello delicious Friends,

Friends of mine recently got the whole Campaign of their pen and paper RPG financed with 150k€.

But It is only in French (I am French myself)

After this huge succes I feel motivated to translate the demo kit of their game as a gift for them.

The Problem is, I am not satisfied with my results so I would like two Things here :

  • In case someone really wants to read and correct what I already wrote, he/she/it can tell me so

  • To post the Questions that I have

Here is the first one : I am not sure when to use Ambiance and Athmosphere ?

here the original document : http://knight-jdr.fr/downloads/Knight_kit_d’initiation_V1.5.pdf

Here the actual Version : KNIGHT DEMO ENGLISH
edited by Flynneldariel on 1/13/2019
edited by Flynneldariel on 1/29/2019
edited by Flynneldariel on 2/21/2019

2

Choice of word when translating into English is always a matter of context. Can you give a context? Ambiance would be something that arises because of the environment, atmosphere might well be influence by people in the environment. Yeah, I do this for a living.

3

I asked the Question in the Broad sense because i could come across the Situation with several contexts.

The first which came was that:

Knight is a game of epic horror. The ambiance/athmosphere is particularly horrifying, terrifying even, the only beam of hope comes from the existence of knights with extraordinary abilities. The world around the characters endures atrocities, despair and Horror. These heroes are the only ones able to fight back and change thing, in a Heroic way, sometimes in a brutal one.

Translation from : Knightest un jeu d’horreur épique. Son univers est doté d’une ambiance particulièrement angoissante voire terrifiante, contrebalancée par la présence des chevaliers et leurs capacités extraordinaires. C’est en fait le monde autour des personnages joueurs qui subit et vit ces atrocités, ce désespoir, cette Horreur. Les héros sont les seuls à pouvoir les combattre et à changer les choses de manière souvent héroïque ou brutale
edited by Flynneldariel on 1/13/2019
edited by Flynneldariel on 1/13/2019

4

Looking at that, I’m wondering if omitting “the world is imbued with” is part of the issue. I’d certainly go with atmosphere if it was included. Might go with atmosphere anyway, actually.
We can continue this in messages if you prefer.

5

It is done, the first version is finished, anyone wanting to proofread it or even test the game is welcome to do it !

Thanks a lot to Jermain Vendredi for his invaluable help !