Is no one going to mention that the campaigners idea of ‘honey wells’ is just a disaster waiting to happen?
Does London need more Well problems?
I think it’s been mentioned. Multiple times.
Well, there’s here. And here, jokingly. There are a few other places scattered about.
It might be best to leave this thread for propaganda and responses to said propaganda. You can remember those days. It can be as it was.
How can I possibly forget those days? Apparently they’re still happening.
The Phlegethonian Gazette
No. 13…Wednesday, July 3, 1895…Price Five Pence
An Official Statement from this Publication
Recently this publication has been accused of dishonesty and sensationalism, and we here at the Phlegethonian Gazette wish to answer some of the criticisms leveled at this publication. The Phlegethonian Gazette exists to inform our readers of current goings on in a pertinent, expedient, and trustworthy manner. Some have criticized this publication of covering matters that are scandalous in nature for the attention of our readers. Our response is that this publications publishes this information to protect our readers from those, who have unscrupulous characters. If this publication does not publish stories on these villainous and shady individuals then they might unknowingly harm their own reputation or be used to further the the villain’s own plans. One does not go into battle unprepared and neither should decisions be made without the same care and preparation.
continued p. 4
…
Support for The Dauntless Temperance Campaigner Diminishes as Support for Feducci Surges
Today recent reports have confirmed that support for the Dauntless Temperance Campaigner have been declining. On the other hand support for Feducci has been been steadily increasing. This new information has changed the many’s outlooks on the election. Many in support of the Temperance Campaigners have been attempting to double their efforts in the wake of their current situation, while in the camp of the Implacable Detective a strong effort is continued to be pushed forward towards getting their candidate the victory, but followers and supporters of Feducci cheer their early victory and continue with equal tenacity.
continued p. 2
…
Former Darling of Veilgarden Flees to the Tomb Colonies
Throughout the past week new stories about Mister J____ M____ have been coming out with a regular frequency putting into question the character of Mister J____ M____. With recent outrage mounting it appears that the former toast of Veilgarden has left London to seek respite from the accusations that hound him now on a daily basis, and sought sanctuary in the Tomb-Colonies.
continued p. 3
…
Eccentric Gentleman Attempting to Make a Rubbery Man the Mayor of London
As strange as it sounds a gentleman by the name of Gideon Stormstrider has gathered a small group of like minded individuals to try to attempt to make a Rubbery Man our next mayor. When asked as to why he believes that his candidate should be the mayor of London he told us, “Squidley (the rubbery in question) is a man of the people. He understands people. They don’t always understand him, but that’s politics for you. He just wants what’s best for London, and that happens to align with my own ideals about crushing the bourgeoisie. It’s a match made in heaven, really.”
It is truly a sight to behold at least a dozen individuals and a Rubbery Man attempting to push a political movement, which is insurmountable at the best of times into power with a Rubbery Man at its head. We are unsure at this time if this act is commendable for its bravery or if those involved should be locked up for the sake of the London citizenry’s state of mind.
“I don’t see the point in all the controversy about Squidley’s Rubbery status. If you don’t vote for the right Rubbery, then the wrong Rubbery might get in,” we were told by Mister Stormstrider. “I’m pretty sure Feducci is a Rubbery too, beneath those bandages. I could be a Rubbery, for all I know. Perhaps you are too.” We were also told that, “Some people say he’s high-strung. I say he’s high-energy. This is a rubbery man who truly cares about his constituents. You may not like it, but this is what success looks like.”
When asked if we could speak to the “candidate” himself we were told that, “I’m afraid Squidley is not available for comment at this time. He has that look about him. It’s hard to notice on someone who doesn’t strictly have a face, but he’s fuming about something. When Squidley starts frothing at the mouth, that’s when you know he means business.”
We asked one of the “candidate’s” supporters why they supported this endeavor. “In all honesty I just want to see how all this will turn out,” they said. “I don’t think that Squidley will win, but it has been very entertaining thing to watch.”
continued p. 7
…
Current Fashions in the Brass Embassy
edited by Lord Gazter on 7/9/2017
It’s clear. Squidley Johnson is the best candidate.
After all, why have shrubberies when you can have Rubberies?
Such logic cannot be defeated.
The Phlegethonian Gazette
No. 19…Tuesday, July 9, 1895…Price Five Pence
The Election Drawing to a Close
As the election draws to a close the people of London await in uncertainty and anticipation. Words are still be said to convince last minute voters to change sides, and others are still trying to rally their own in one last show of unity. This publication was able to ask several of London’s citizens their opinions on our second mayoral election.
Some are glad it is over like Lord Gregory Henchard, who told us, “I am glad it’s almost finished. This is the type of thing that can tear families apart. Dangling carrots in front of everyone and telling them all that only one carrot will be delivered. It’s the worst kind of nastiness that brings out the worst kind of nastiness that brings out the worst in people.”
Another by the name of Miss Honoria Kastern told us, "I can only pray London made the logical choice. I hold out hope for the silent majority. Now if we could only… I HEARD THAT! COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT, I’LL BREAK YOUR NOSE!.. Ahem, could only conduct next year’s election with a little more dignity and restraint."
While still another told us, "I have heard many politicians be accused of horrible crimes such as slavery, consorting with devils, or worse consorting with foreigners. Only down here those accusations are true. And yet that man may still be our next mayor."
On the other hand some of London’s citizenry have expressed their happiness in the election and in the process itself, which some have said gives power to the people of London for the first time in years. Others like an Advocate referred to as Bunnyapocalips told us, “A mighty fine spectacle! Almost sad it’s over soon, these are glorious times for Advocates. But I can’t deny I’ll be happy when all is said and done, and Feducci takes his rightful place.”
continued p. 3
…
Jack of Smiles Attacks Have Increased
London citizens have been hit by a recent increase in the number of attacks made by Jack of Smiles. It appears that Jack has been attacking people increasingly in and around Ladybones Road. This publication’s sources have told us that the Election has probably brought Jack out, while another source told us the amount of people out and about makes it easier for Jack to find a victim. Either way one should be wary when in Ladybones road until Jack decides to find another hunting ground.
If this information was not ghastly enough it appears that this recent outbreak has inspired artists to write a plethora of penny dreadfuls on the matter. Others have begun to write stories inspired by Jack of Smiles. We at the Phlegethonian Gazette do not condone these acts nor do we promote the disrespectful and inexcusable behavior.
continued p. 5
…
Inner Turmoil inside the Implacable Detective’s Camp
In a surprising turn of events it appears that the Implacable Detective might be losing support. A recent report has been made an anonymous and trustworthy source that the Detective has lost the support of a large number of the constabulary. The report also details that the Implacable Detective has been purging her own ranks, although the reasons as to why have alluded our source.
continued p. 2
…
A Devil’s Perspective on the London’s Election Process
The Phlegethonian Gazette
No. 20…Wednesday, July 10, 1895…Price Five Pence
Feducci Wins the Mayoral Elections
Supporters and followers of Feducci are in celebration as their candidate begins his year as mayor of London. Questions still remain as to how Feducci will bring about his political reform, and what that means for London, but it seems that some are optimistic about the matter. One London citizen was quoted as saying, “Feducci’s victory is a victory for us all.” Another told us, “I’m curious to see how Feducci will bring London to even greater heights.”
Mr. Dynamo a gentleman of some prominence, told us, "The election is all one big show, you know? Sure, we get to pick which candidate wins, but who picks the candidates? The Masters. And will there ever be any real change? No, because the Masters wouldn’t allow it. Jenny opened a school as mayor, but really, anyone could have done that with enough capital. Neither Feducci, nor any of the other candidates, can affect true change. But, I’m glad Feducci won, because he’s certain to make things exciting. And to all those who lost, I say vae victus."
Others expressed their worries and fears in the wake of Feducci’s victory. The Melancholy Solicitor was one such individual. "Who will be dealing the cards in Feducci’s 'Fair Game?” they told us.
Another of London’s citizens expressed their worry over the implications of Feducci’s victory, "I’m mildly concerned. It’s possible we’re all in for it now, and that Feducci aims to bring the whole city into a frenzied conflict between the half who voted for him, and the half who hates his guts. Or maybe he just enjoys a bit of adventure and excitement? It’s really hard to say for sure, but I see no reason to doubt his intentions regarding ‘Fair Play, Fair Game’. The only questions are what the rules will be, how they will be enforced, and if London can survive the upheaval."
Of course some London’s more clever and intrepid citizens have already found a ways of benefiting from the election even after their candidates defeat. "I think I’ve convinced Chuffy to let me rig up a human-sized bucket to lower people into the honey-well for a mere two Echoes,” Mr. Isaac Zienfried said to us.
continued p. 2
…
Mobs Finally Disperse
It seems that now that the election has come to a close, London might return back to normality. The mobs that have harassing the citizens of London throughout the election are beginning to disperse, and the citizenry may be able to walk the streets without being chased by madmen tossing fruit or waving laterns about. Some are worried that some of these mobs might find something else to support with equal fervour as their political candidate, and cause even more trouble for London.
continued p. 3
…
The Empress Remains Silent on the Elections
After numerous attempts by various people and supporters of each of the candidates no progress has been made to ascertain the opinion of our Empress on the matter of Feducci’s appointment as mayor of London. This has lead some to believe that our Empress disapproves of the election process, while some claim ridiculously that her silence tells us that she is indifferent to the matter entirely. There are whispers that the Empress’s silence means her approval.
continued. p. 2
…
A Bombing in Ciliawine Square
Another anarchist attack hits London. A statue of a master was destroyed by explosives after chaos erupted in Ciliawine Square. Reports are still too numerous and contradictory to get a full accurate story. All that can be done is to speculate as to why this act was carried out. Some suspect that the statue itself was viewed as a challenge by revolutionaries.
continued p.4
…
A Demand for Souls of Higher Quality
There are many that are seeking souls of greater quality. Both men and devils are paying high prices for unique souls. This has lead to a decrease in the price of common souls and mundane souls. Some are choosing to wait it out while others are selling souls of ordinary an ordinary nature in higher quantities to make up for the lower prices.
continued p. 6
…
Khanate Threatens War for the Fourth Time this Month
edited by Lord Gazter on 7/11/2017
(I’m fairly sure Hotshot’s intention was for the bombing to fail spectacularly, not succeed, by the way)
Maybe they bombed the wrong thing! Or maybe the statue was bombed so beautifully, it became an artistic wonder! Maybe there was a hidden cache of diamonds inside, to Mr Stone’s delight! :P