A Delicious Guide to Fallen London - a work in progress.
Help requested.
Please submit your ideas about which things I should tackle in which order, how I should highlight the stuff in screenshots, any sample texts or snippets you may have, etc. etc. in this thread.
One thing I immediately notice: you talk about the difference between male and female clothing items, but it’s worth noting that those items are the same whatever our character’s gender, and any character can wear any item. In that sense, it barely warrants mentioning in terms of character creation at all! Also, as you’ve written it, it’s not clear whether or not any gender of character can have a romantic relationship with any seduceable character - which they can.
Yep, FBG doesn’t prohibit male characters from wearing dresses, nor female characters from wearing suits. The only difference about genders is what gender description you get (e.g. gentleman, lady…) and what cameos you can select.
Corrected.
Associated with: This can be discussed, because there’s tons of factions, and ultimately many are associated with several things. I find it would be more correct to associate these with eachother in a different post? ‘We’ve told you something important’ is a quality which tracks your tutorial, I think, considering mechanics.
Typo: Typically -> typoically
Looking well so far =) Might be a little long for some, but that’s hard to tell for everyone who’s not actually learning the game.
edited by Aximillio on 12/23/2013
Thanks for the feedback!
The point of this tidbit is to give the new player some kind of an indication as to what each statistic is about, or what characteristics a Shadowy person is likely to possess. The (f)actual Factions connections is less significant at this point.
[quote=Aximillio]
‘We’ve told you something important’ is a quality which tracks your tutorial, I think, considering mechanics.[/quote]
Based solely on the new player content thus far in the guide, could you say that you have understood what "Qualities" are? Sincerely, I can not claim that.
[quote=Aximillio]Might be a little long for some, but that’s hard to tell for everyone who’s not actually learning the game.
edited by Aximillio on 12/23/2013[/quote]
Well, the official tutorial is a little short for many, IMO. But you are correct, I should consider how much I should take it "to the other end".
One option, of course, would be to postpone the stats intro (or some other stuff) to later in the guide.
Main attributes are explained well, and those are pretty essential at this point. Qualities and items should be explained somewhat together. I guess I’m just excited about the guide progress =D
I think I’ll have to check progress a little more. After all, I don’t know if you intend there to be 10 chapters (which could get a bit lengthy) or 4…
“Frocks” just means dresses.
This is a very strange way of putting it.
The link at the end of the first page doesn’t work yet.
You should probably put borders around your images, or change your background colour. The screenshots look a little odd with the grey Storynexus bar across the top, and then the black blending in with your background.
Where you have the descriptions of the four stats, I’d be tempted to put the icons next to your explanations. I would probably not list the stats as being associated with different factions, because they’re not particularly.
The four are also not opposite to each other.
I know you’re trying to simplify them for new players, but you’ll only confuse them as they advance. I wouldn’t include either of those here.
Also, the drawing with the red connecting lines - if you’re going to keep these, turn the lines into arrows from each option to the stat, and use a different colour for each line. It just looks like a mess at the moment.
It REALLY isn’t clear what you mean by mouseover text. Try for a screenshot anyway. It shouldn’t be that difficult - get the mouseover text onscreen, then press the Prt Sc button.
Also, the picture you have with with the caption [quote=Delicious Guide]Storylets![/quote] doesn’t actually show storylets. It shows options within a storylet.
I would also suggest not linking to the middle of the comic during your guide. This is likely to be confusing/distracting for a new player.
Again, meaning is not clear. You need some more text before the pictured captioned [quote=Delicious Guide]This must have been the fastest prison escape ever known to man?[/quote], explaining what the picture is actually showing, and that after escaping, you have the option of exploring areas of Fallen London.
Also, PLEASE edit the multi-screenshot images together. The line between them is frustrating.
…Don’t say that. They need to get in the habit of reading story results. Particularly since the summaries here ARE actually helpful for them, since FB are actually explaining some of the game mechanics to them. You’d be better giving a quick summary here, or at least saying something like “Read through these things. This is the main way the game will communicate advances and news to you after you complete an action. We’ll explain what these particular ones mean in more detail later on.”
[quote=Aximillio]
I think I’ll have to check progress a little more. After all, I don’t know if you intend there to be 10 chapters (which could get a bit lengthy) or 4…[/quote]
I intend to include the main functions: opportunity deck, storylets, Travel to locations, and round off with Lodgings actions, Myself tab and the Bazaar. That should be enough to get a player started.
Thank you for the feedback! This is why I love to have other people proofreading my texts. :) Operating in a non-primary language often leads to funny translation errors, and the clarity, content and factual errors can always be improved by those who have played more. Will make a lengthy edit later during Christmas time.
For this project, I am employing the "Agile projects" approach to of making a prototype quickly, failing quickly, then making a better prototype quickly. There will be lots of minor failures along the way.
Help requested:
Could someone provide me with concise definitions for the following:
…which would not be very difficult for a new players to understand.
edited by Karhumies on 12/24/2013
Replaced with "frock coats, which is what I meant.
[quote=dragonridingsorceress]
This is a very strange way of putting it.[/quote]
I meant "Fear not!" or something towards that effect. Since the exclamation had no informational content, I decided to leave it out altogether.
Created the link.
[quote=dragonridingsorceress]
You should probably put borders around your images, or change your background colour. The screenshots look a little odd with the grey Storynexus bar across the top, and then the black blending in with your background.
…
Also, PLEASE edit the multi-screenshot images together. The line between them is frustrating.[/quote]
Created automatic borders to all images in the guide using CSS. Now, the large screenshots split into top and bottom halves due to screen resolution may look a bit odd. But otherwise, it has been an imrpovement. If you wish for me to change the border color to something else, let me know.
The editing together will be postponed due to non-standard cropping and resizing of the original images & my laziness.
[quote=dragonridingsorceress]
Where you have the descriptions of the four stats, I’d be tempted to put the icons next to your explanations.[/quote]
I originally thought about this as well, but was too lazy to do it for the first version. Added.
[quote=dragonridingsorceress]
I would probably not list the stats as being associated with different factions, because they’re not particularly.
The four are also not opposite to each other.
I know you’re trying to simplify them for new players, but you’ll only confuse them as they advance. I wouldn’t include either of those here.[/quote]
Example of Revised text:
[quote=Guide]
Watchful: (Owl)
Watchful ~ Perception. Your ability to locate and see missing things, people and their motives, as well as hidden agendas.
Failing in Watchful challenges increases one’s Nightmares.[/quote]
Removed.
…Don’t say that. They need to get in the habit of reading story results. Particularly since the summaries here ARE actually helpful for them, since FB are actually explaining some of the game mechanics to them. You’d be better giving a quick summary here, or at least saying something like "Read through these things. This is the main way the game will communicate advances and news to you after you complete an action. We’ll explain what these particular ones mean in more detail later on."[/quote]
Revised.
Again, meaning is not clear. You need some more text before the pictured captioned [quote=Delicious Guide]This must have been the fastest prison escape ever known to man?[/quote], explaining what the picture is actually showing, and that after escaping, you have the option of exploring areas of Fallen London.[/quote]
Revised the text.
[quote=Delicious Guide]
Also, the picture you have with with the caption [quote=Delicious Guide]Storylets![/quote] doesn’t actually show storylets. It shows options within a storylet.[/quote]
Attempted to revise the text. However, I would prefer to use somebody else’s more accurate definitions/descriptions for these concepts in the Guide.
It REALLY isn’t clear what you mean by mouseover text. Try for a screenshot anyway. It shouldn’t be that difficult - get the mouseover text onscreen, then press the Prt Sc button.[/quote]
Decided to leave out this confusing snippet for now due to my personal inability to screenshot this accurately. No need to convey that inability to the reader, I suppose.
On my to-do list, since I will need to modify the original rather picture than the published image to get a nice and clear result.
I know how to draw really good
The tools I am currently using:
Print Screen -button
PhotoFiltre 7 (for picture editing)
Windows Notepad (for HTML)
WinSCP (for file transfer)
If someone knows of better or easier-to-use tools for making the guide, let me know.
Also, an update to the Chapters List as an attempt of creating a structure for the Guide.
edited by Karhumies on 12/24/2013
[quote=Karhumies]If someone knows of better or easier-to-use tools for making the guide, let me know.[/quote]Screenpresso is a great tool for capturing and annotating screenshots - and the free version will be perfectly fine for what you need.
Cheers
Richard
[quote=Richard ][quote=Karhumies]If someone knows of better or easier-to-use tools for making the guide, let me know.[/quote]Screenpresso is a great tool for capturing and annotating screenshots - and the free version will be perfectly fine for what you need.
Cheers
Richard[/quote]
Will try that out. Hoping it will be similar to OS X Grab, which is a most excellent tool for capturing small regions.
On unrelated matters, I should probably install Linux Ubuntu during the holidays.
Half of Chapter 2 for your reading pleasure.
I have realized that I am doing a lot of hand-holding, which calls for a Summary aka tl;dr section to be completed on the side.
EDIT: Fixed the images. There were some file renaming errors leading to correct images at wrong places.
edited by Karhumies on 12/25/2013
One more link- the most useful page on the other wiki is Item Conversions - Echo Bazaar, especially the table on the very bottom.[li]
And some comments/nitpicking:
You use the term "Storylet" a bit in here and the next few paragraphs to refer to an ongoing story. This isn’t a common use of the term- "storyline" or maybe just "story" would be better.
Theus made a mockup on another forum thread about what a black card would look like. (http://community.failbettergames.com/topic5769-new-card-border-colors.aspx?Page=1) You may want to ask them about using that image.
[quote] Nemesis[color=rgb(255, 255, 255)] (Watchful & Dangerous)[/color]
[color=rgb(255, 255, 255)]starts from Marleybones Road (see Chapter 3: Traveling)[/quote][/color]
[color=rgb(255, 255, 255)]
[/color]
It’s only ever Ladybones Road in-game.
The digging into Acquaintance actions seems a bit out-of-place. It might make more sense to have a separate section (if not an entire chapter) about social actions in FL, with a mention of the common examples. I guess that’ll be in the Lodgings chapter?
I have never quite understood what a "Storylet" is. All in all, the game does an appalling job of explaining key terminology, IMO. If someone can provide me with a definition, I can start using that definition, and modify the texts accordingly.
Since that’s just a mock-up rather than an actual in-game card, I’d rather not use it. I’ll just wait until there are actual cards to use.
[quote=Aspeon] [color=rgb(255, 255, 255)][/color]It’s only ever Ladybones Road in-game.
[/quote]
Whoops. Will correct that. Hopefully, I would have noticed this glaring error when writing the Traveling Chapter.
This snippet may well be moved over there once the section has been written. It came to me more as an afterthought after clicking the Accept button to include in the frist place.
Based on what I have found in-game about Storylets (see above), I have acquired the habit of calling everything below the Opportunity Deck and Cards with any kind of a button attached as a "Storylet". AFAIK and IIRC, the game itself has not provided any counterarguments to this definition.
edited by Karhumies on 12/25/2013