What bits of advice would your character give newcomers to the Neath? What basic facts should everyone know when they arrive? What do you think a Fallen London tour book would have in it?
Give me your Master-spotter’s guides, bewildering safety tips, unlikely restaurant recommendations and other Neathly suggestions.
Being Unaccountably Peckish is ok as long as you have less than 1.
If you somehow have more than 0 U.P., draw cards from the opportunity deck. Some ominous black-bordered cards will appear and only use the card which requires exactly one U.P. From that card, eat roasted chestnuts to safely remove U.P.
[quote=Tystefy]Being Unaccountably Peckish is ok as long as you have less than 1.
If you somehow have more than 0 U.P., draw cards from the opportunity deck. Some ominous black-bordered cards will appear and only use the card which requires exactly one U.P. From that card, eat roasted chestnuts to safely remove U.P.[/quote]
Yeah, but that’s game stuff. I’m thinking in-character stuff.
Examples:
The safest Master to meet is almost certainly Mr Pages, who is generally convivial—and, quite frankly, adorably earnest. Even so, it cannot be denied that on the rare occasion he does get angry the individual who caused the issue tends to end up as a book binding.
Despite appearances, the Rubbery Men are quite harmless and in far more danger from humans than the other way around. They spend most of their time trading amber back and forth for reasons they are unable to explain due to the shape of their mouths preventing them from speaking anything remotely similar to English.
When speaking to a Master—and you will wind up speaking to at least one, since several of them are very gregarious—avoid the topic of Egypt, dreams, candles, ex-Masters, wells, the Vake, the goals of the Bazaar and what they look like under their cloaks. Actually, it’s probably best if you just let them pick the topic. Some of them can be a little intense.
Only experts should attempt to read the Correspondence. I don’t know what it is, exactly, but it has an unfortunate tendency to light objects on fire. Also people. Just about everything, really, whether you like it or not.
If you have begun to dream of death by water or feel Unaccountably Peckish, it is recommended by all sane people that you write a letter begging to be left alone and drop it down a well. This is the only time that you should ever come close to a well. Do not ask why, as knowing anything about wells and the one who dwells in them only makes the effects far worse. Do not look in the well. Absolutely never climb into the well. There are things so much worse than merely dying . . .
edited by GuesssWho on 4/23/2018
Be wary of dating.
Be wary of mirrors. Dream carefully.
Be aware of mirrors. Dream watchfully.
Be a wearer of mirrors. Dream boldly
Be worn by the mirrorers. Dream forevermore.
Breaking, broken, breakers.
Be ray-king, betoken, be taken.
Or something pithier.
Ooh, ooh, the line about the lack of combustibles down here.
“We just can’t get enough. So we burn… sinners.”
[quote=Kowth]Ooh, ooh, the line about the lack of combustibles down here.
“We just can’t get enough. So we burn… sinners.”[/quote]
Yeah, that was a funny one. Total bullshit, but funny.
Rubbery Men are harmless and friendly. Offer them hugs.
Devils want your soul. That’s literally it. Trust me.
Water is not your friend. Do not go swimming. don’t.
Don’t listen to voices from wells. They tell only truths more painful than any lie.
Do not interrupt the Rubbery Men when they singing by a well. They are mourning a lost friend.
Try not to think too deeply as to what lies beneath a Tomb-Colonist’s bandages.
Be wary of suspiciously red meat.
Khanate happens to be London’s Rival. Be wary of any visiting Khans… not because they’re dangerous, but because London’s people might get the wrong idea from you.
The Forgotten Quarter is a bunch of ruins smashed together. You are free to explore and loot as you please. This applies to everyone else too. Oh, and if you hear the sound of brass, you should go in the other direction.
If your reflection ever speaks to you, listen.
The part of Sinning Jenny’s Finishing School where you give classes to a Surface new-comer has some interesting tidbits. One thing about mirrors with chipped edges, if I remember right.
Oh, and the handsome fellow with the yellow eyes. I know he’s very charming, but don’t let yourself get too close.
DON’T GREET THE MERRY GENTLEMAN. STRANGE DREAMS WILL CLING.
Things to run from:
Devils (unless you’re invited, or want to sell your soul)
Black Cards, Seeking, Names, Wells, candles etc. (you don’t want to know). Wax is fine.
Palace Cellars (censored)
Lacre (you will cry, and possibly explode)
Sunlight (if you’ve been here long enough, you soak in unreality and- wait, the sun? THESUNTHESUNTHESUN)
Mrs. Plenty’s mirrors (they lead to death, or madness.)
Hell, mirrors in general. And the phrase ware serpents.
Mr. Veils. A scream is just an imperfectly tuned song. And we all have a song in our hearts.
The Liberation of Night.
Never dress in anything less than your best.
Always have an outfit prepared for each and every situation.
Make sure that they are well coordinated.
An important skill to learn would be the art of changing clothes quickly and discreetly.
There will be occasions where you may have to change outfits 9 times in the span of 5 minutes.
However, do not begrudge this fact.
For you must never dress in anything less than your best.
Pour one out for Mr. -------, but do not speak and never Seek.
Don’t sign up for Knife and Candle, the Sanguine Ribbon Society, or the Black Ribbon Society, unless you do not plan EVER to return to the Surface.
Be wary of anything to do with love. I’m not saying don’t fall into it, I’m not saying avoid it. I AM saying, whenever love is involved, take care.
Excerpts from Lady Byron’s Nocturnal Guide to London for Ladies and Gentlemen of Delicious Inclinations:
Although technically banned, The Seventh Letter is performed with remarkable frequency. It’s a must-see play for visitors … just don’t plan on sleeping much afterwards.
If you are exceptionally lucky and brave, the opera The Bell and the Candle is not to be missed! It is true, it may drive you mad or set you on fire … but if it doesn’t, then you will never think of sensuality the same way again!
The Parlour of Virtue may not be aptly named, but you owe it to yourself to go. It’s expert personnel can tend to almost any Delicious Inclination.
If you must attend church, then find the little church in Veilgarden overseen by the Melancholy Curate. The sermons may be on the dull side, but there is much to recommend about the views.
A useful reference to keep on hand is Lady Byron’s Guide to Neathy Pick-Up Lines, being a compendium of wit, wisdom, repartee, and bon mots for the purpose of effecting rendezvous, assignations, and dalliances with handsome and comely personages.
The Most Educational Anatomy Exhibition at Mrs Plenty’s Carnival is … well … most educational.[li]
edited by Lady Sapho Byron on 4/24/2018[/li][li]
edited by Lady Sapho Byron on 4/24/2018[/li][li]
edited by Lady Sapho Byron on 4/24/2018
I’m surprised you left out the Concursion of Petals.
Now, to be fair, if you are the kind of madman who can afford Hesperidean Cider, it will allow you to go to the surface again once drunk.
Now, to be fair, if you are the kind of madman who can afford Hesperidean Cider, it will allow you to go to the surface again once drunk.[/quote]
Though your point about the Cider is a good one, I thought this thread was about the composition of a brochure or leaflet, suitable for providing to tourists from the Surface. Any tourist who learns about the Cider and commences planning to obtain some…is no longer in the Tourist category, in my opinion.
edited by cathyr19355 on 4/25/2018