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What is the etiquette re: Hallowmas confessions? Messages in this topic - RSS

Kittenpox
Kittenpox
Posts: 869

10/30/2015
I was sent a confession request and three+ days later they had menaces enough for me to send one in return, so I accepted the one they sent... Only to find they decided to decline my own, and I don't know that it's worth me using more action points to find out what happened or try again. (Throwing good money after bad, and all that.)

They probably didn't mean anything by it(?), but suffice it to say it was a... disheartening turn of events.

How do most players do the whole Hallowmas confessions thing? Should I be anticipating this kind of thing, or was I just unfortunate in this instance / unwise to assume that mutual confessions is the norm?
(This wasn't the first confession request I've had rejected this year by someone who's sent me one, is all.)
.
edited by Kittenpox on 10/30/2015

--
Kittenpox
Current [Fabulous Diamond] count: Twenty-Five (of 50). Halfway there! ^_^
Metaphysical Caprice: 11.
-
Currently: Returned to the Neath, and regaining my footing in this place. :-)
NO PLANT BATTLES PLEASE.
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NiteBrite
NiteBrite
Posts: 1019

10/30/2015
I know I've been only accepting confessions when I see someone has sent me more than one confession. This is to save them from sending more. One person sent me as many as seven, and I accepted one to stop the sending and save them some actions (although in retrospect maybe they sent 7 for asthetic reasons). I've also sent out duplicate confessions and it takes a few days to notice sometimes, but I always leave one active.

I'd say, it's to be expected a certain percentage of confessions will be rejected. Some people bite off more than they can chew and just can't accept all the ones they've got. Or they signed up for all menaces, but discovered they want to only do one type after all.

Not me though, I plan to accept every unique confession sent to me, no matter what (repeats have to be rejected though).

How much rejection is to be expected from others though? It's hard to tell. This is the first year we've ever been this organized. This year will be the benchmark we use to judge all subsequent ones. I think, largely though, most people will accept the requests they've received or make a good faith effort to accept as many as possible.
edited by NiteBrite on 10/30/2015

--
I AM currently accepting calling cards.
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EllenFremedon
EllenFremedon
Posts: 5

10/30/2015
So far I've accepted 31 unique confession requests and only had 6 people reciprocate. They may still get around to it.
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Sara Hysaro
Sara Hysaro
Moderator
Posts: 4514

10/30/2015
I don't usually go out of my way to arrange mutual confessions unless they're going to be betrayals. I just send at random and will accept all the requests sent to me.

--
http://fallenlondon.storynexus.com/Profile/Sara%20Hysaro
Please do not send SMEN, cat boxes, or Affluent Reporter requests. All other social actions are welcome.

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xKiv
xKiv
Posts: 846

10/30/2015
NiteBrite wrote:
This year will be the benchmark we use to judge all subsequent ones.


I would wait for the next - when, for the first time, everyone will have dozens of confessions to devour from (what will then be) previous year.

--
https://www.fallenlondon.storynexus.com/Profile/xKiv - a witchful, percussive, dangermous and shadowry scholar of coexplodence, hopsidirean, and walker of fallen kitties.
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Grenem
Grenem
Posts: 2067

10/30/2015
Rejections during this phase i take horrible offense at, unless i sent a duplicate. My retaliation is, since i wait to accept, to reject them in turn. it's not an optimal outcome, but i won't reward them their bad behavior. I will put it off as late as possible, though, just in case it was an accident and they appologise, or it was because of duplication and they accept.
edited by Grenem on 10/30/2015

--
Married!:http://fallenlondon.storynexus.com/Profile/takuza
I will accept all social actions that do not consume free evenings- and i will provide patronage to anyone who requests it, though it will be split between all requesters.
On psudeo-hiatus. Will be inactive and active and fluctuate without warning.
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dov
dov
Posts: 2580

10/30/2015
I intend to accept all requests sent my way (currently sitting at around 144).

There are a few duplicates there, so I'll have to reject those. I intend to send a note to those I have to reject so that they know it's because of duplication (assuming they haven't noticed the duplication themselves).

--
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Nigel Overstreet
Nigel Overstreet
Posts: 1220

10/30/2015
Kittenpox wrote:
I was sent a confession request and three+ days later they had menaces enough for me to send one in return, so I accepted the one they sent... Only to find they decided to decline my own, and I don't know that it's worth me using more action points to find out what happened or try again. (Throwing good money after bad, and all that.)

You could always message them with an alt and ask "What's up with that?" It was probably just a misunderstanding.

But there is always the possibility, especially if they sent you a Confessions and then refused to allow you to reciprocate that fonession for 3 days, that they never intended to accept yours in the first place.
I tend to think this unlikely. I don't think there are that many people who play Fallen London who would be that callous, though.


I will also be accepting all Confessions sent my way, provided the sender will also receive confessions. I've got about 30 people who've sent me invites that have never shown up on the drop down. Actions being at a premium, I may have to decline those, but only if it comes down to the wire.

--
The Romantic Egotist: Most Hedonistic Man in All of Fallen London
Are you or someone you know Overgoated? Please, let me know!

Cider Club
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Kylestien
Kylestien
Posts: 749

10/30/2015
Who was it? because I know i accidently deleted one and if it was me I'm sorry and resend.

--
I will accept all actions, though I hold the right to refuse for my own reasons. However, if you explain WHY you send me a harmful action like Loitering or Dantes,And I feel the reason good, I will consider it more. http://fallenlondon.storynexus.com/Profile/Kylestien

Persuasive patron. You want a lesson, send me a message asking for one.
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colinsapherson
colinsapherson
Posts: 191

10/30/2015
When I've been rejecting confessions (because they're duplicates) I've taken the relevant player out for coffee and explained what I'm going to do and why. I've also queried once or twice why others cancelled confessions and they explained that it was, again, due to duplicates.

--
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Available for Knife & Candle Moon League matches, Tournaments of lilies and other social actions (including boxed cats and photographers).
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Lady Eris
Lady Eris
Posts: 162

10/30/2015
Nigel Overstreet wrote:


I will also be accepting all Confessions sent my way, provided the sender will also receive confessions. I've got about 30 people who've sent me invites that have never shown up on the drop down. Actions being at a premium, I may have to decline those, but only if it comes down to the wire.


That's what I'm doing - I will do my best to accept all Confessions if I can, but I'll be accepting the ones who I have been able to send requests to first. (Although... at least one person couldn't find Eris in the dropdown when they should have been able to, which was a glitch. If I've sent you a confession and you can't find me, drop me a PM here (to save you an action) and I'll see what I can do - or send the request to my alt instead, if you like. William's a most obliging chap who has a great story involving the Bishop of Southwark, a weasel and rather a lot of wine...)

--
Lady Eris Psmith, Society darling, devoted wife. Dangerous when crossed. Accepts most social invitations. Distributor of Parabolan Kittens. Welcomes new acquaintances, especially those who write 'in character'.

William Templeton, Viscount Manningham, newcomer, gentleman, all-round good egg - accepting absolutely all invitations.
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lady ciel
lady ciel
Posts: 2548

10/30/2015
I have got to the point (as I have accepted around 50 and have another 20 or so in my inbox) where I am trying to only send out invitations to people who have sent me one. Of course some of those were from non-POSIs so they are not available this year. As I have done this in previous years as well I am cross referencing with my trust list to try and get the people I missed getting confession from previously. Once I have done that I will raise my menaces again and hope to get invitations that I can reciprocate. But as I plan to be around for next year I won't worry too much if I can't.

As for rejecting an invitation only if it is a duplicate. Cancelling - once again if it is a duplicate; though I did have an alt who accidentally sent out more single menace requests than they needed as they hadn't got to Confessions 6 to lock those options so they cancelled those.

--
ciel

Sorry RL means I am not a very active player at the moment. No social actions unless you are prepared to wait and definitely no sparring or other mult-action things.

No Calling Cards or boxed cats please. Will take dupes on the affluent photographers. Other social invitations welcome. Parabolan Kittens usually available, send me an in-game social action saying you want one and I will get one to you as soon as possible.

storynexus name - reveurciel
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zeenat
zeenat
Posts: 8

10/30/2015
Hi everyone! If you are still looking for a way to track your Hallowmas activity and are comfortable with a basic spreadsheet, here is a template you can use: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1DJ4M8zEHl-YU0x0-VhdiPucgiEeGblTZVgSCJKHpey0/edit?usp=sharing

Please save a version of it and use your private version. Do not edit the template I've linked to (because that will mess it up for others).

I'm happy to answer any questions you have.
edited by zeenat on 10/30/2015

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http://fallenlondon.storynexus.com/Profile/Zeenat
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Kittenpox
Kittenpox
Posts: 869

10/30/2015
Kylestien wrote:
Who was it? because I know i accidently deleted one and if it was me I'm sorry and resend.

I don't intend to name+shame, especially as I don't know their motives, and I'd hate to find I'd slandered someone over what might turn out to have been an accident. But no it was not you Kylestien. :-)

I am finding these replies helpful though - just having an idea of what's being considered 'normal' has helped a ton. :-)

--
Kittenpox
Current [Fabulous Diamond] count: Twenty-Five (of 50). Halfway there! ^_^
Metaphysical Caprice: 11.
-
Currently: Returned to the Neath, and regaining my footing in this place. :-)
NO PLANT BATTLES PLEASE.
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Catherine Raymond
Catherine Raymond
Posts: 2518

10/30/2015
Apologies if I have screwed up the etiquette myself. I did not realize I would have so much work-related stuff to handle and I have lost track of what I put on the Confession sheets. However, I am now prepared to keep my Wounds and Nightmares high enough to allow pride confessions, and if I can't accept them right away I will accept them after the deadline. Thanks.

--
Cathy Raymond
http://fallenlondon.com/Profile/cathyr19355

Catherine Raymond aka Mrs. Rykar Malkus http://fallenlondon.com/Profile/Catherine%20Raymond (Gone NORTH)
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Riftare
Riftare
Posts: 37

10/30/2015
I too have over 50 invitations sitting in my inbox, and my apologies if I have not yet accepted your requests. I'm trying to work my way through them as menaces permit. Once we can no longer send requests for confessions, I will make a concerted effort to accept every request sent to me. I assume many others are doing the same, as I have many outstanding requests that I have sent that have neither been accepted nor declined.
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Rupho Schartenhauer
Rupho Schartenhauer
Posts: 787

10/30/2015
@Riftare: There is no need to apologize! To put off accepting requests until next week is the most effective way of playing and therefore the usual tactic among those aiming for 500 Spirit of Hallowmas (or even more).

--
Rupho Schartenhauer has killed a Master, well: most of it.
Cortez the Killer has killed a Master, definitely.
Deepdelver has become the progenitor of London's brightest star. It's... complicated.
Dr. Kvirkvelia, gone NORTH on 23/12/1894.
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Pyrodinium
Pyrodinium
Posts: 639

10/30/2015
I only return Whimsy confessions if they specifically say so in their invite to me. Otherwise I just accept since me being proactively wearing the clay mask produced a lot of unreturned invites.

--
My profiles: http://fallenlondon.storynexus.com/Profile/Pyrodinium
(A Monster hunter on the hunt of his twin brother's killer. Overprotective dad of his twin's daughter)
http://fallenlondon.storynexus.com/Profile/Rudolph~of~Taured
(an indeterminate person of potentially rubbery lineage)
* All social actions except photographers and loitering welcome!
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Kittenpox
Kittenpox
Posts: 869

10/31/2015
Rupho Schartenhauer wrote:
To put off accepting requests until next week is the most effective way of playing and therefore the usual tactic among those aiming for 500 Spirit of Hallowmas (or even more).

I've read this is a thing (though I'm uncertain on the details), so I assume that's what some others have been doing. :-)

I've just been finding it irritating when it's not even possible to send one to them in return, and since it requires me to spend at least twice as many actions to accept than it does for them to send the thing but they get the benefit (and a chance to betray me too), it's like why should I bother with their request if they won't have the courtesy to do the same?

Nigel Overstreet wrote:
You could always message them with an alt and ask "What's up with that?" It was probably just a misunderstanding.

I messaged a few of the people and while I did manage to fix up some confusion I had with one or two of them, it also resulted in more of those deciding to send me *another* invitation to confess (rather than bumping up their menaces so they were available for me to send the action on my end) so I don't know that I worded it very well. :-s

Nigel Overstreet wrote:
But there is always the possibility, especially if they sent you a Confessions and then refused to allow you to reciprocate that conession for 3 days, that they never intended to accept yours in the first place.
I tend to think this unlikely. I don't think there are that many people who play Fallen London who would be that callous, though.

We'll see how it goes. :-s At the moment I have 87 Spirit of Hallowmas and 32 Confessions, though I don't know exactly what I need to do to reach 500 (or even 250) spirit.

--
Kittenpox
Current [Fabulous Diamond] count: Twenty-Five (of 50). Halfway there! ^_^
Metaphysical Caprice: 11.
-
Currently: Returned to the Neath, and regaining my footing in this place. :-)
NO PLANT BATTLES PLEASE.
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Grenem
Grenem
Posts: 2067

10/31/2015
Kittenpox wrote:
Rupho Schartenhauer wrote:
To put off accepting requests until next week is the most effective way of playing and therefore the usual tactic among those aiming for 500 Spirit of Hallowmas (or even more).

I've read this is a thing (though I'm uncertain on the details), so I assume that's what some others have been doing. :-)

I've just been finding it irritating when it's not even possible to send one to them in return, and since it requires me to spend at least twice as many actions to accept than it does for them to send the thing but they get the benefit (and a chance to betray me too), it's like why should I bother with their request if they won't have the courtesy to do the same?

Nigel Overstreet wrote:
You could always message them with an alt and ask "What's up with that?" It was probably just a misunderstanding.

I messaged a few of the people and while I did manage to fix up some confusion I had with one or two of them, it also resulted in more of those deciding to send me *another* invitation to confess (rather than bumping up their menaces so they were available for me to send the action on my end) so I don't know that I worded it very well. :-s

Nigel Overstreet wrote:
But there is always the possibility, especially if they sent you a Confessions and then refused to allow you to reciprocate that conession for 3 days, that they never intended to accept yours in the first place.
I tend to think this unlikely. I don't think there are that many people who play Fallen London who would be that callous, though.

We'll see how it goes. :-s At the moment I have 87 Spirit of Hallowmas and 32 Confessions, though I don't know exactly what I need to do to reach 500 (or even 250) spirit.

EDIT: NVM, found yours and accepted. (choosing optimal options, you'll get 215 spirit using those resources, though i expect you'll have more comming in.)
edited by Grenem on 10/31/2015
edited by Grenem on 10/31/2015

--
Married!:http://fallenlondon.storynexus.com/Profile/takuza
I will accept all social actions that do not consume free evenings- and i will provide patronage to anyone who requests it, though it will be split between all requesters.
On psudeo-hiatus. Will be inactive and active and fluctuate without warning.
Grinding Favors without cards: http://community.failbettergames.com/topic22266-storylet-favors-grinding.aspx
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